Anniversary of Death

Today is the one year anniversary of Katiana's death, the little child who died of Cholera while residing at Kay St. Anne.  Often I think of her, and pray for her twin sister.  Her death still feels so sad and senseless.

Let us not forget the many children and adults who continue to die of preventable illness like Cholera, in places of our world where simple things like quality drinking water and basic sanitation are still lacking.     

Seven Sorrows of Mary

On Monday myself and another sister who is also transferring into the Marinaites of Holy Cross, were welcomed by the congregation in a beautiful simple prayer service held at a nursing facility where many of the older Marianite sisters live.  In addition to the congregation's constitutions, and spirituality handbook, we were each given a set of Seven Dolor beads.  At first glance they look like rosary beads however there are seven beads in each of the seven sections and when praying with them one reflects on the Seven Sorrows of Mary.  These are situations which during Jesus' life and at his death, like a sword pierced the heart of his mother.    The seven sorrows are: The prophecy of Simeon, the flight into Egypt, the loss of the child Jesus, Mary meets Jesus carrying his cross, the crucifixion, Jesus is taken down from the cross and the body of Jesus is placed in the tomb. (for more information on the seven sorrows go to: http://www.marianites.org/spirituality/seven-sorrows-of-mary/ )

When I used these beads for my prayer, my mind wandered frequently to Haiti.  It seems to me that the suffering many people experience regularly in Haiti, which I witnessed during my 14 months there, is much like the seven sorrows Mary experienced.

My mind goes to the mother of Kevin (name changed to protect confidentiality) the child who was sent to the United States for open heart surgery but died about ten months later.  A couple of weeks before his death, when I went to visit him at St. Damien Hospital, she was so concerned for her son.  She took my hand in hers and held it to Kevin's chest, so that I could feel that his heart was beating too quickly and too hard.  Like Mary hearing the prophecy of Simeon, I think this mother was confused and concerned for the well being of her son. The previous November she had been told that his heart was fixed and he could be expected to now live a normal life.  Now his rapid heart beat spoke of a different reality.

It was just about this time last year, when I spent a week working in the Cholera tents.  People who lived a distance quickly needed to get to re-hydration centers quickly once someone became ill.  I remember a mother who had come with her three children all of whom had Cholera; one of whom took a long time to recover.  Fr. Rick would sometimes tell stories of people dying as they arrived because they came from such distances by the time they arrived they were too dehydrated to recover.  Like Mary and Joseph fleeing into Egypt, for many people the difficult journey to a cholera hospital is an urgent a matter of life and death. During the days I volunteered in the cholera tents, I did so, because it was not safe to travel even the short distance to the baby house because of political unrest in the country, which greatly complicated the situation for the deathly ill people needing to make such a dangerous trip.             

People lose their children in Haiti.  Sometimes, extreme poverty leads a loving parent to place their children in an orphanage, abandon them in a hospital, or even send them to work at a young age with a family that is a little better off, certainly too I heard stories of children and parents unable to find one another in the immediate after math of the earthquake, and death rates among children are quite high as well.  I remember the pained expression on the face of a father as he left his three young children at Kay Ste. Anne; with the understanding that the program would work to eventually reunite him with his children (by this point this was the decided mission.)  I never knew his whole story, but I believe the mother of the children had died, probably in the earthquake.  As he walked out of the house, he appeared to me to be on the verge of tears, something I rarely saw among Haitian men.  The loss of his children from his care must have pierced his heart, as it had Mary's when she and Joseph were separated from young Jesus as they searched and eventually found him in the temple.   In this particular unique situation, the father decided after only a couple of weeks to take his children back home, that struggling to support them in extreme poverty was better for him and his children then leaving them in the care of the program.

The face of an older child comes to my mind, a young person who grieved the death of both of his parents, and then experienced physical abuse, neglect, and rejection at the hands of the relatives who were supposed to care for him.  Even though he is in a safe place where he is cared for now, he like many in our world continues to carry a heavy cross created by grief, loss, poverty, rejection and abuse.

The images of little babies I met one Saturday when I helped in a clinic come to me.  One baby was being cared for by her aunt because the baby's mother had died.  The aunt did not have money for formula to feed the baby, who was tiny, undernourished and suffering.  Another baby in the clinic that day was even smaller and the sister/nurse I was with predicted that the baby would soon die.  So many loving care givers feel so helpless as they watch their children suffer and die, because they lack of basic necessities 

So often morning liturgy was a funeral and sometimes for very small children.  I remember one mother who attended morning liturgy the morning following the death of her child.  Her little girl lay in a body bag there on the floor of the chapel.  As is common in the culture, the mother wept and wailed.  At one point she pulled out a cute little dress that had belonged to her little girl and held it up for all of us to see.  As this mother held her dead child's dress up, her grief was not unlike the grief Mary experienced when holding the body of her dead son in her arms.

This week it will be a year since we buried Katiana, laid her body in the ground just outside the chapel on the grounds of St. Damien hospital.  Cholera quickly killed this four year old who had a wonderful giggle and eyes that suggested to me she had seen pain and suffering beyond my imagining.  I think often of her surviving twin sister and think that the pain of such a loss in my mind is like Mary's pain when the body of Jesus was laid in the tomb.

Backpack

A couple of months ago, one of the workers at Kay St. Anne offered to wash my green back pack for me.  I felt a bit embarrassed when I realized how dirty it had gradually gotten.  This is the knapsack I took almost everywhere I went in Haiti.  When she offered I politely said, "non mesi," (no thank you.)  Aware that I would be returning to the states soon, I told her that I would wash it when I returned home.  Well, since I am home, in the place where I actually am now officially living, and have finally after many weeks am no longer living out of suitcases (Mesi Bon Dye/thanks be to God), I washed my back pack.  It contained an amazing amount of Haitian dust, some of which came out easily turning the water brown. I washed it by hand and might throw it in the washer when I do a load of dark clothes soon.  I doubt all of the dust will come out even in the washer-machine though because it just seems to be so deeply embedded in the fabric.  It is one thing to take the bag out of Haiti, but deep down there may always be some of Haiti in that bag.  Even if I do manage to get every speck of dust out of the knapsack, I still think it is an adequate metaphor because I know I can't possibly wash all of the Haiti out of myself.      

Peace Pole

You have probably seen a peace pole somewhere.  On each of the four sides in four different languages are words about peace on the Earth.  There is one here on the grounds of teh convent in New Orleans where I am staying and will be officially moving to  in a few weeks.  One of the four languages happens to be Haitian Creole.  Near the foot of the peace pole there are flowers some of which are the very same kind that grow near the chapel on the grounds of St. Damien Hospital in Tabarre Haiti.  I recognize them because some mornings before liturgy in Haiti, I would pick some of those flowers to place on the body bags; so many mornings daily liturgy was a funeral.  I am grateful that since I left Haiti, I have yet to go into a church for daily liturgy and see body bags containing Cholera victims or dead babies on the floor.  I find that I am grateful for things that I never would have thought tobe grateful for prior to going to Haiti.  Today near the peace pole and the flowers that I saw a beautiful orange butterfly; a much welcomed reminder to me of resurrection and transformation.       

Weather

Everything in America looks different to me because I spent time in Haiti.  The other day, when someone commented that the roads near her house were not well maintained, my mind wandered to the dirt roads in the neighborhood of Kay Ste. Ann and bouncing in the seat or in the back of the truck on the way home from school with the children.  While I could easily acknowledge the imperfections in the road probably due to warm summers and cold winters, the roads looked quite good to me, since these things are relative.  When someone talked about how bad the mosquitoes were in Philadelphia last summer, I acknowledge how annoying that must have been, but my thought was yes, but, at least, here it is highly unusual for them to carry malaria or other serious illnesses.  I did here from a volunteer in Haiti yesterday that a couple of children at St. Louie have Malaria, and also that there have been some recent difficulties with the safety of the drinking water for the children.  How strange it seems to me now, that here, I take a warm shower in water that is actually perfectly safe to drink.   

I took this right after the snow started yesterday; we actually had a couple of inches on the ground this morning.  It is very beautiful! 

If the conveniences and other cultural aspects related to reentry and reverse culture shock were not apparent enough, I only had to look out my window yesterday to be once again reminded that I am clearly not in Haiti anymore.  Snow in October, while there are still leaves on the tress, highly unusual for Philadelphia.  Today when I look out the window it looks like autumn and winter at the same time, as there is still snow on the ground and many of the trees are dazzling with their fall colors shining in the sun.  I am enjoying it as there was no winter or fall in Haiti, and New Orleans does not get the significant seasonal changes either.  Actually it will be nice to be in a place that is considerably cooler than Haiti, and considerably warmer than Philadelphia.  I enjoy all kinds of weather, though, so I go where my heart leads.

Here is the website for the Marianites of Holy Cross, the congregation I will be transferring to:
http://www.marianites.org/


 

Orevwa Ayiti, Cheri!

Tuesday evening there was a at party at Kay Ste. Anne to say, "mesi, orevwa," (thank you and good bye) to me.  The children sang and they danced.  It was so touching.  They presented me with a booklet of drawings that children had made with notes on the back of the pages from many of the workers.  At the party, I laughed with the children and cried as I said my farewells.  I miss them a great deal. 

 Using money that people had given me for Haiti, I was able to put new mats down for the children to play on and bought a tent like play house and some new puzzles and other toys for the playroom I had set up many months ago.  Thank you to all who gave me money for the children of Haiti.  Thank you too for all of you who were encouraging and supported me with your prayers and compassion.

  There was a volunteer from the states who painted a mural in the chapel during the last week or so that I was there.  There had been some earthquake damage in the chapel by the hospital where the volunteers and others gather for liturgy each morning.  The mural speaks to me of hope and transformation which continues to take place in Haiti.  Sometimes it is hard to get a good sense of what it changing in Haiti on the larger scale, but in the lives of individual children, and in the Father Wasson Angels of Light program as a whole I must say I have seen much hope and positive changes during the fourteen months that I was there.  If nothing else, I know that the time I spent in Haiti, the contact I had with the people of Haiti, the experiences I had have certainly transformed me and I am grateful   

    
When I told people in Haiti, I was leaving they typically asked me when I was coming back.  I told them I would not be returning, and then said, maybe someday, "si Dye vle."  This seemed to satisfy most, as if God wants is a common comment among the people of Haiti who have so much trust in the will of God.

On Thursday afternoon, I flew Portauprince to Miami, and then my flight to Philadelphia was delayed.  I arrived in Philly very early Friday morning. 

I heard from an American women who is volunteering as a nurse with the FWAL program.  Even though the children had a good-bye party for me and knew for quite some time that I was leaving, and even though I explained to some of them that I was going so far away that I would take two airplanes to get there, when they saw the nurse and one of the driver's for the program, the children asked the driver if he would go and get me and bring me back to St. Anne.  Just thinking about that, causes me to want to laugh and cry at the same time.  

Please continue to keep the people of Haiti in your prayers.  Please pray for me too, as I reenter into the so called "first world," and also begin a major transition of transferring from my current religious congregation, the Sisters of the Holy Redeemer to the Marianites of Holy Cross.  After a long discernment process, I truly have a sense of peace that this is what God is inviting me to at this point in my life, but farewells and transitions are rarely easy.  

 Thank you again, to everyone who was supportive to me in any way during my time in Haiti.  I am grateful to for all of the people in Haiti, who taught me so very much. I am not sure how regularly I will update this, if at all since I am no longer in Haiti.  Thank you for reading it. May you experience God's presence on your life's journey wherever it leads you.  Many Blessings!  Take care. 
Love and Prayers,
Kathleen

Reflections as I prepare for my final days in Haiti

There are somethings about Haiti I will surely miss.  There are other things I will not miss, and there are many things I will probably miss with a sense of ambivalence.Needless to say I will miss the children at St. Anne and St. Louie.  I will miss their smiles, their laughter.  I will miss the ways the young children stand behind me while I pretend to look for them and they call out while giggling "Se Kathleen pa we m" (Sister Kathleen doesn't see me.)  I will miss seeing children for play therapy, but I won't miss the challenge of finding a place to conduct therapy with an acceptable amount of privacy. I will miss the workers at St. Anne.  I will miss the morning liturgies in the chapel at St. Damien, but it will be very nice to attend daily liturgy where I know there is nearly a zero percent chance (as apposed to a nearly 95% chance) that morning mass will be a funeral for dead babies and or cholera victims.  I will miss the volunteers here a great deal, but I won't miss people who did not go to mass asking me how many bodies there were at mass.  I will miss speaking Creole and learning new words but I won't miss the frustration I feel when I really don't understand what someone is telling me even though they have repeated themselves several times.  I will miss the sound of the rain on the metal roof, but not miss the rain falling through the roof onto the floor of these little houses. The list could go on, but I don't really want to bore you.  Mostly I will miss the people.  

 There were a lot of visitors here this weekend because a Dominican sister from the United States who worked for NPH many years ago, now in her 90s returned for a visit since the Cholera hospital is being named for her.  There was a very lovely liturgy held on the grounds of St. Luke and St. Philomen hospitals nearby.  Teenagers and young adults she had cared for when they were babies came to the mass; it was very touching.  As I looked around at the land where the liturgy was held I thought about how,so much has changed since I arrived 14 months ago.  When I first came, the FWAL children had their summer camp program on those grounds, and very soon after my arrival moved to where St. Louie and the FWAL school currently stand.  A couple of months later, tents were placed on that property to treat people suffering from Cholera.  Now, there are more permanent structures there.  When I look at how much some of the children have grown and changed in the past fourteen months, it is amazing.  It is a privilege to have witnessed such growth.  Although I can't quite name all of the ways yet, I feel that my time here has changed me as well.

Please continue to pray for the people of Haiti.  Please pray for me as well, as I say my goodbyes here in the coming days.  I hope that you are well.  Thank you for all those who have been supportive to me in so many ways during my time here; be assured of my continued gratitude and prayers.

Hand-Me Downs and ti bebe (little baby)

Hand-Me-Downs
 Since, school started, it was more difficult than usual to find a private place to conduct individual therapy sessions with the children I have been seeing for play therapy.  The tent I used during the previous school year is no longer standing.  There was an empty shipping container at St. Louie which seemed like a reasonable spot, although it was impossible to close the door the all of the way from the inside.  While I was working with one boy who is about seven years of age, a girl who used to live at St. Anne came to the container door and slid papers with hearts drawn on them through the crack between the container door and called out the name of the boy I was working with. Later I realized that the tee-shirt the little girl was wearing had a picture of two dogs sharing a drink and and had the words, "Puppy love" written on it in English.  While I thought her shirt was perfectly appropriate she hadn't a clue what the words on it meant.  Many people in Haiti don't know what their tee-shirts say, because often they are hand me downs from the United States.  My guess is that somehow when thrift shops get too much, the excess finds its way to the Haitian people.  When we have passed people selling clothing on the side of the roads volunteers have joked that one of us might see something that once was ours.  People wear shirts with the names of events they could not possibly have attended, races they have never run, schools that are very different from their own, and cities no one in their family has ever visited.  Sometimes people are oblivious to the reality that their shirt has a rude message on it.  On one occasion I explained to a very kind and agreeable woman who among other tasks, mops the floors (an endless job) at Kay St. Anne, what her shirt meant, on the front it read, "why be difficult" and the back said, "when you can be impossible."  Another day, I saw a young dark skinned Haitian man wearing a tee-shirt with the words, "Irish grandmother" printed across the chest.  It is not just clothes, many cars, trucks, including tap-taps,were probably once in the states.  Sometimes they still have fading signs of companies that I just know are not doing business in Haiti, or signs which make untrue claims, that they are shuttling people from the New Ark airport to a New Jersey hotel.  Every now and then you see a vehicle adorned with two license plates, one Haitian and the other American; Florida is the most common but I have seen several other states represented.

Ti Bebe
Yesterday I accompanied a sister who is a nurse to volunteer at a clinic at a parish church near one of the poorest areas of the city.  The image of one tiny baby stays with me. This fifteen day old, was being cared for by her young aunt, who said that the mother of the baby had died.  They tiny baby was quite malnourished, probably because the aunt was not able to purchase formula.  The baby was given medicine because she had a fever and infection and referred to a malnutrition program.  As I looked at that tiny child, I could not help but think of how we have no control over the circumstances in which we are born.
   

Next weekend will be my final weekend here. This blog may be ending in a couple of weeks as my time here ends.  If I know that people would continue to read it, perhaps I will at least for a couple of months, do some updates as I reflect on my time in Haiti when I am no longer here.  Please, let me know if this would be of interest to you.  

Please keep the people of Haiti in your prayers, especially that little baby and other very sick people who are living in extreme poverty like those whom I met yesterday.  Thank you!  

    

Anpil Bagay (Many things)

There are so many things I want to write about this week.  As it was a full weekend, is already getting late, so I'll give brief perhaps seemingly random summaries and thoughts:

One day my heart ached for a mother who arrived at the chapel during morning liturgy looking sad and distraught because her child was one of the several dead we were praying for that morning, lying there covered in a cloth on the chapel floor. This mother still had a hospital bracelet around her own wrist which made me wonder if the child had died at or soon after birth, or if they both had been in the Cholera hospital at the same time.  

Yesterday was the monthly visitor's day for the children of St. Louie and St. Anne.  As always it is such a difficult day for some of the children who do not have any relative that comes to see them.  Yet, it is difficult for some of the children who do have visitors when their visitors' leave.  Yesterday one father decided to take his children home with him.  In this particular case I think this was a good thing for him and for the children.

It seemed rather ironic to me the other night, when I decided to wait until the heavy rains stopped before leaving my house to get water, especially as water (although not safely drinkable) was dripping from the ceiling onto my bedroom floor.

Today I went on a day trip to Kenskoft to visit the children who used to live at St. Anne that moved to the big orphanage in the mountains several weeks ago. The children mostly seem to be doing well there, thank God.  I am a bit concerned about one of the youngest little girls who was sent up there, because she looked so sad on both occasions that I have visited since they moved.  As I am not planning to return to Kenskoft in the next (less than) three weeks, it was the beginning of goodbyes for me.  

School will start for the children at the Father Wasson Angel of Light School tomorrow.  School is started later this year than originally scheduled so that more children can go to school for free.  It is hard for me to get a good sense of exactly what took place in the past month that will enable more children to attend school than would have if it had started in September.  This has been one effort of the president and I did notice billboard type signs on the road to Kenskoft with pictures taken of President Martelly with smiling school children wearing new uniforms and Haitian Creole words about children going to school.  In general though it seems that many people here in Haiti are frustrated with how little is happening to improve their lives.  

Have a good week!  

 

Byenveni e Orevwa (Welcome and Goodbye)

We welcomed 14 new children at Kay Saint Anne on Monday.  Some of the young children looked scared and confused when they arrive to this new place and when the relatives who brought them left.  It does not take long to love the new children, to realize that they all have unique personalities and preferences.  A few were scared of the two puppies that now resided on the grounds of St. Anne, while one of the youngest toddlers to arrive was fascinated by them.  Much time and energy this past week was spent helping the new children get used to the routines of the house.

As the walls in our little prefabricated volunteer houses do not go all the way to the ceiling three of us who live in the house hear everything (except if it is raining then the only thing you can hear is the rain on the metal roof.)  One of the women I live with, told me she could hear me talking in my sleep recently but could not hear what I was saying.  It would not surprise me if I was saying, "lave men ou apre ou itilize twalet (wash your hands after you go to the bathroom,) since I find myself saying that with great frequency most days.  Of course when 36 children under the age of six live in one house, in a country that continues to have a cholera epidemic (or perhaps by now it may be endemic), I think it is important. When, I came to Haiti, at some level I knew that I would not really know what I would be doing until I was there, but somehow thought I would be doing more clinical social  work, and had even been trained in EMDR (a therapy used in trauma treatment) before coming.  I have been doing play therapy with several children, but I spent a lot more time encouraging basic things like hand washing especially at Kay St. Anne.  Before coming I kept saying I felt called to go where the needs were the greatest, and even here once I arrived, what I thought would have been the greatest need (trauma therapy) could not take prescience over more basic needs such as safety and sanitation.  When I see the great poverty and suffering that exists in this country I can't say I have done much to make any systemic changes or done anything that would appear significant overall.   But I can say that now most of the time, most of the children at Kay Saint Anne wash their hands with soap after they use the bathroom and before meals.  I am not sure if I truly convinced people that it is dangerous to store bleach in bottles that used to contain sugary soft drinks especially if the bottles are occasionally left on the ground especially in a house where up to 40 children under the age of six live at any one time, but even if there are people working in the house who are not fully convinced of the danger, it does not happen anymore which I think has to do with my persistence (although in this specific instance I must admit I was not always particularly patient.)  
 
Yesterday after work, I went with a short term group of medical volunteers on a tour of the city.  I had seen much of it before, but each time I go downtown, I see something different.  I noticed that the rubble had been cleared from around and inside the existing broken shell that was the Catholic Cathedral of Portauprince.  It appears too, that some of the remains of the presidential palace are being dismantled.  In many places, there are still thousands of people living in tents, right across the street from the palace. Most tents have been reinforced with something perhaps scraps of wood or  metal or have sturdy sticks holding them up,  and many have extra tarps on them, probably to help keep out the rain.  Event he tents here for our short term volunteers where I lived my first month here has a tarp on it now.

In less than one month I will be leaving Haiti. After a long prayerful discernment process, I have made a decision which has resulted in my leaving Haiti earlier than I initially planned, which I expected when I made the decision.  I truly have a deep sense of peace and joy believing this is the right decision for me at this time in my life, although saying good bye to the children is going to be especially difficult.

Please continue to keep the people of Haiti in your prayers.  Many Blessings!

Basic Updates

Since ten children from St. Anne had moved to St. Louie and the 15 new children will move in tomorrow, it was a calmer week at Kay St. Anne.  I actually think the ratios this past week were more like what I would ideally want them to be all of the time, because smaller numbers allow for better supervision and more individual attention for the children.  When there are so many needs and such limited resources, in a country like this I imagine, it is difficult for those in management positions to find the balance between taking in more children who are in desperate need, or serving fewer children while providing more intense services.  We heard this week that there are currently  budget concerns across programs.  It really makes you realize how everything is connected, economic problems in the United States and Europe impact the amount of donations that organizations such as NPH receive, but the needs don't decrease and here in Haiti because of the earthquake and cholera needs have increased greatly. While this is not a fundraising blog, and I don't like asking I decided it is important enough to mention that if anyone reading this who may be interested in making a donation to NPH, if you would like you could ask that it specifically go to Haiti,  and directly to the Father Wasson Angel of Light program, here is the link to the website of the fundraising arm of the organization:   http://www.friendsoftheorphans.org/s/769/start.aspx

This week during activities at St. Anne, when I wanted to do something a little different, I taught some of the children a classic american children's  game, only I called "kanna kanna zwa", instead of "duck duck goose."  I was surprised that they enjoyed it so much, that several times later in the week the children got together and spontaneously played it themselves during their free time.  I enjoyed watching some of the toddlers who did not fully understand the part of the game where you try to return to the other person's seat on the floor, but who took great pleasure in tapping the heads of other children and joyfully exclaiming, "kanna!"   

On Friday I visited with the children who had moved from St. Anne to St. Louie last week.  They all seem to have adjusted well and are doing fine.  

Yesterday morning, I went with the other volunteer and a driver to visit the family of the child I had accompanied in the states last year, who died a couple of weeks ago.  We were warmly welcomed into their small house, which was essentially one little room, with a couple of beds, a table, four plastic chairs, and a shelf with a small television. As I looked at the way the exposed  wires hung from the ceiling, I wondered what my father (an electrician, who often comments on how things are wired when visiting a new place) would say; I suspect the wiring would have made him nervous.  When the other volunteer needed to use the bathroom during the visit, she was apparently provided with a bucket.  The child's mother, two brothers, and a cousin were there.  One of his brothers resembled him quite a bit.  Everyone in the immediate family seems to be relatively tall and quite thin, and each had a beautiful smile.  I enjoyed visiting and talking with them. The family seemed appreciative of our presence, and of the donation we had brought to them, which I believe was from the Rotary Club in Florida which had sponsored the heart surgery last fall.    

Hope you are doing well.  Have a good week.

Perspective

Perspectives
Since I have been in Haiti I have been stretched to realize that so much of what I see, could be seen so differently by people of different cultures, or who have had vastly different experiences.  The other day when I was riding in the car to a liturgy in a mountain village called Fondwa, we were stuck in traffic on the way there.  A large gasoline (tanker) truck was in the middle of the road turned over on its side, completely blocking the road, so that traffic could not pass in either direction.  I fear that the driver was at least seriously injured if he survived at all, based on the condition of the cab.  When I hear of gasoline leaking from a truck, my thought is of how dangerous this could be because it is flammable and the fumes are not good to breathe.  Many of the people living nearby most of whom were very poor had a different perspective.  People of all ages  were carrying buckets, plastic water bottles, and pitchers, and containers every shape and size, filling them them to the brim with gasoline.  I said to the other sister in the car, that all  of these people can't have cars, or generators.  She said they would probably sell it.  We and all of the vehchiles in front of us, ended up driving through a nearby field as it was the only way around the truck.  That same day in another location on the side of a large gas tank in English it said something like, "dangerous, contents are flammable, fumes can be harmful."  I thought to myself anyone in Haiti who is educated enough to read those English words probably already knows that gasoline is flammable and the people who are least likely to read it are probably least likely to be aware of this.  

Vow Ceremony
On the day I saw the tanker truck, I was accompanying another American sister, to the vow ceremony for a young congregation of Haitian sisters, the Franciscan  Sisters of St. Antoinne of Fondwa (I hope I got there name right.)  The American sister who works here at the hospital now, worked with the sisters there in a clinic prior to the earthquake.  Fondwa is a rural village in the mountains.  The liturgy was held in the temporary structure which stood on the foundation where the church was before it fell down in the quake. The current church was constructed of corrugated metal held together by beams of wood, which looked as though they had been used before, I wondered if the wood had been salvaged from the fallen church.  There were sturdy chairs which had been handmade somewhere in the countryside.  The decorations in the church were a couple of plants, some fake flowers and ribbons.  The decorations outside were mostly hand made paper chains.  There was profound beauty in the simplicity of it all.  The bishop of Portauprince presided at the liturgy.  Two sisters made final vows and two sisters made first vows; other than the two sisters who founded the congregation these were the first two sisters to make final vows.  There was such joy among the sisters, their families, and the people from the village.  After the mass, we were all invited to stay for a meal of delicious fresh Haitian food; the sister I was with said that the turkey was probably walking around earlier that morning.  As people were finishing their meals there was the distant sound of thunder.  Since many people from the village had walked, and even a couple came on horse or donkey, the party cleared out quickly as people attempted to get home before the heavy rains.              

Kay St. Anne and Kay St. Louie
This morning ten of the children moved from St. Anne to St. Louie.  They came to Sunday liturgy at St. Louie and were introduced to the other children after the mass ended.  Then the children went to their new rooms, which are the shipping containers that each house about 16 children and a worker.  I stayed around a short time afterwards.  I was glad to see the children who had just moved in playing well with the children at St. Louie.  Next week we expect to receive 15 new children at Kay St. Anne.  

Funerals, Activities. and a Wonderful Weekend

Funerals
Last weekend Fr. Rick returned to Haiti after some time in the states. Daily liturgy resumed here in the little chapel  by the pediatric hospital.  Apparently, someone had pointed out that we often had funerals for people that die in the cholera hospital and sometimes for people who did at the adult hospital but never for the children who die at St. Damien hospital.  At some point, while I was away children who die at St. Damien began to be included in the funerals. On Monday there were many bodies of small children.  During Fr. Rick's absence they had accumulated in the being held in a freezer now kept on the side of the chapel.  Usually the dead are not people I knew personally; it is sad in a general way.  Sometimes I wonder how many of those dead would have survived had they been born in the United States or Europe.

On Thursday night, I heard that the child who I had spent a week with in Florida last year had died.  The other volunteer who has spent time with him called me.  I walked to the front of the hospital to offer condolences to his grieving mother.  We hugged for a moment, I said little; some situations are simply too sad for words.  On Friday, the daily liturgy was like the funerals on the previous days that week in many ways, but it was more difficult and more meaningful because I knew and cared for one of thechildren whose body lay in a body bag on the chapel floor.
I had visited him in the hospital a few times since he was admitted.  His death was not expected to be imminent and there was even some talk of possibly sending him back to the states for surgery.  The last day I visited him was a couple of days before he died.  To my untrained eyes, he appeared to be getting better.  He was sitting in a chair by his bed, talking with me and shooing mosquitoes away.   His young heart failed him; in my heart I carry  memories of him.  Please pray for his mother and family.  

Activities
The government has changed the official start of the school year from early September to early October in order to make it possible to implement a plan so that when school does start more children in Haiti will be able to attend school for free.  When the summer camp for the children in the Father Wasson Angels of Light ended a couple of weeks ago, we were expecting school to be starting soon. I have been involved in the planning of more structured activities for the children at St. Anne during the month of September.  The new schedule starts tomorrow and I am looking forward to it.  

Weekend
The organization planned a weekend at the beach for all interested long term volunteers in Haiti.    The hotel where we stayed was lovely, and in a great location.  It was wonderful to spend time swimming,  playing in the water, reading, kayaking, hanging out with the other volunteers, and eating the delicious food at the hotel.  The hotel even had hot running water for showers!  Most of the time I am in Hait, I am not even aware of the reality that I am on an island; this weekend was a major exception.  I included a few pictures in an attempt to share the beauty of the Haiti seaside with you.  What a wonderful restful  weekend!

This morning, while still at the hotel, I was sitting by the pool reading.   A small  group of people including some police and UN people. exited the conference building and  walked by.  In the mist of the  group, wearing blue jeans and a dress shirt was President Martelly, the President of Haiti. Apparently there was some kind of a meeting taking place that had to do with the UN, at least that is what a  young woman who was sunbathing by the pool told me.  I was amazed at how little fanfare there seemed to be actually.    

I hope that you had a wonderful weekend, and for those in the US celebrating Labor Day; may you have a blessed and enjoyable day.              

Ke kontan; ke kase (Happy Heart; Broken Heart)

Puppet Show
On Monday, a short term volunteer from Italy came to Kay St. Anne with me.  She apparently took a clowning class in Italy.  She quickly put together a simple puppet show for the children, which they loved.  It was wonderful to watch them watching her.  One little boy sitting in the back row jumped up and down with pure delight.  This was a fun activity which took place before medical workers arrived to give all of the children vaccinations, a much less pleasant event to observe.
    
Kenskoft
On Wednesday I accompanied the 12 children who do not have family with whom they can be reunited, on the journey to Kenskoft.  When I was at St. Louie, I heard the oldest girl who was leaving call out, the the kind gentleman who oversees Kay St. Louie, "Met, Met, Pa bliye m."  (Teacher/mister, don't forget me.)  My heart was touched as he assured her that she would be remembered.  We stopped half way up the mountain in Pettionville, where NPH has an office; there we picked up other children, whom I did not know who were also being admitted to the orphanage in Kenskoft.

A four year old from St. Anne sat on my lap during the ride up the mountain.  I remember when this little girl arrived at St. Anne last year.  She seemed so small, and so scared.  I held her the day she came.  During her first weeks at St. Anne she cried every afternoon when I was leaving for the day.  She had come to us from a previous orphanage (not NPH) who either did not want to or felt they could not care for her because of her health problems.  When she arrived at St. Anne we were told that her mother had died, and her father was in the process of dying.  Now this spunky four year old child who has lost both of her parents is at her third orphanage.  She cried on and off during the trip as did other children.  When a child cries a common reaction in this culture is for adults to tell them "silens" or "pa kriye" (silence or don't cry.)  I tried to normalize their crying for the staff and explain in my imperfect kreyol that it is better that they cry than to hold the feelings in.  A few words from a foreigner is not likely to have any significant immediate impact on what people have done and experienced their entire lives.  Each time I heard an adult tell a child not to cry, I felt a little more like I might cry for them.  

When we arrived in Kenskoft it was raining and unusually windy which people attributed to the storm that had passed us by without actually hitting us a couple of days earlier.  We pulled the bus into the courtyard of the school.  The children's newly assigned workers came to meet them.  I made sure I said goodbye to each of the children individually, especially those from St. Anne.  One toddler clung to me for a few minute, as I stood by her new worker, eventually she was taken into the arms of her new worker and waved to me and said, "bye bye" as she left the court yard to head towards the house.


Fet
Thursday was not only my birthday but was the feast of St. Louie, for which the home for the older children in our program is named, and the one year anniversary of my arrival at NPH.  For the feast day celebration, there was a special liturgy at St. Louie that morning.  In Haitian Creole the same word, fet, is used for birthday, feast day, party, celebration, and it has a couple of other uses too. It was not only my fet, but also fet for all of the children over the age of six in our program who celebrated the feast day of the patron of their house that day.  After mass, the children joyfully sang Happy Birthday to me in Creole, French, English and Spanish!  Then I was able to wish all of them  "Bon fet!"  I was delighted that my fet was their fet too.

Heart 
Last November, as those who read this regularly might remember, I spent a week in Florida with a Haitian child who had heart surgery because due to immigration concerns Haitian parents are not typically allowed to accompany their children to the US when the child is there for surgery.  I recall feeling a sense of joy when I translated for him when the doctor explained that he was all better. Unfortunately, this proved to be untrue.   A few months ago, after an american pediatric cardiologist came to St. Damien Hospital, I heard that there was something wrong, and that this child will probably need to have heart surgery again.  Yesterday, the other volunteer who had also spent some time with him in the states last year, informed me that he is currently in ICU here at St. Damien Hospital.  I stopped by to say hello to him last night. He is on oxygen, and was sitting by his mother.  When he saw me he smiled, but he looks tiered.  His mother took my hand and held it to his chest; she wanted me to feel that his heart is beating too strongly and too quickly.  His mother asked about my parents, because the child had told her about meeting them in Florida while he was recovering from surgery.  He remembered going in the car with them and eating at a restaurant.  His mother explained to me that her son has an infection and then she seemed to be explaining that something was ripped or torn; the previous surgery for some reason apparently did not work, despite the doctors believing it had last November.  I don't know too many of the details regarding his situation or the likelihood of him returning to the US for a second surgery.  In the meantime I will pray for him and ask you to do so too.

Hurricane
We were fortunate  that the Tropical Storm Irene, which is now a hurricane, did not hit us directly.  It seemed to affect the weather pattern a bit, but not in any serious ways, thank God.  For all of you on the east coast of the United States who may have felt the earthquake and are preparing for  Hurricane Irene, please be assured of my prayers.  Take care. Be safe.  
  

We had two parties this week.  On Tuesday was Fet Pe Wasson.  Father Wasson was the founder of NPH international.  At that party, the children heard his life story and how he started his first orphanage in Mexico.  Then small groups of children did skits, dances and sang songs; many about Pe Wasson.
The following day was the end of the summer camp program, so there was a party, with presentations, singing and dancing.  I am often impressed with the talent of the children.

The Father Wasson Angel of Light program is transitioning from an orphanage to a program which will work to eventually, carefully reunite children with living relatives,if they have them.  The program will eventually serve as more of a boarding school for children in dire need.  I think this is a very good thing for the children who have families, but obviously creates challenges for those who have nowhere to go.  It was decided that some of the children who are considered to be true orphans with no known relative capable of caring for in the future would be sent to the large NPH orphanage in Kenskoft.  Yesterday I accompanied (along with a couple of workers who themselves grew up in Kenskoft,) a group of 12 children to the orphanage in in the mountains so that they could visit before they actually move there.  Some of the children seemed a bit scared when they first arrive, which made me grateful that this was just a visit.  They got to see some of the houses during a tour and had a picnic lunch.  As we were getting ready to leave the fog rolled in and it started to rain.  We were not very far down the mountain, still in the town of Kenskoft, when traffic was completely stopped.  Apparently three trees had fallen into the street, so we had to wait until they were removed.  In the mean time during the hour of so of waiting, most of the children needed to go to the bathroom and a diaper needed changing.  When I opened the door to the of the bus/van there was a small stream of water running down the road and a down power line very close to the van.  It was quite an adventure.  Eventually the trees were cut and we were able to continue and arrived safely, thanks be to God.

While I was in the states, the permanent structure for the FWAL school was begun.  This is defiantly a good thing as many of the tents that were used during the last school year as classrooms are not in good shape at all.  In fact the tent that I was using for play therapy and my psycho-social educational groups was no longer standing when returned.  As I noticed yesterday during the trip to Kenskoft there are still many people living in tents.  Let us pray that the predicted tropical storm Irene will change paths especially for the sake of the people who do not have adequate shelter.

Take care.    

 

 

M te tounen nan Ayiti. I returned to Haiti

My final days in the Unites States were quite busy.  The memorial service for my baby cousin on was held in Rhode Island on Saturday, on Sunday I returned to the Philadelphia area, and on Monday morning flew direct from Newark NJ to Portaprince.

On Tuesday I spent the day at Kay Saint Anne.  Instead of the children going to the summer camp program at St. Louie, the children are staying home and workers are coming to do activities with them.  I was so happy to see the children again, they seemed happy to see me to, they actually clapped and cheered when I walked into the house where the workers were trying to do activities with them.  Many of them seemed to have grown so much in the time I was away!  It is great to be back.

Thank you to all the people who gave me things for the children, or money to purchase things for them.  Each day this week I brought something else to Kay Saint Anne.  One day the sandals which a family member had asked a high end children's store to donate.  These really came in handy since many of the children were wearing broken flimsy flip flops.  The next day I brought hand made beautiful sun dresses and shorts that a group of people in Rhode Island sew for children in living in poverty in developing counties.  They looked great on the children and are perfect for the hot Haitian weather.  The socks, underwear, stickers, crayons and other items will all be used well.  The children thanked me, and I told them I would thank the people who gave me the items for them or the money to buy the items.  Ti moun yo di nou "mesi anpil!"   (The children say to you  "thank you very much!"

There have been some positive changes at St. Anne in the time I was away.  There are more workers hired, so that the ratio of children to adults has decreased.  There is one worker present at all times who is to focus on the three children who have either a developmental or physical disability.  I am very pleased about many of the changes because I think the children and workers will benefit.

On Friday afternoon, I went to see the older children at St. Louie.  It was great to see them.  They seemed happy to see me too, but a couple were clearly disappointed that I had not brought Ti Toti (my turtle puppet) along.  One of the youngest children there, was very excited to use a few simple English phrases he had learned while I was away.  He asked, "what is your name?"  I responded and asked him his name and when he did not know what to say, I prompted him with the correct response.  Then he asked, "how are you?", I responded and asked him the same question, again prompting his response.  It was the same for, "who are you?"  He was beaming with pride that he knew these phrases.  He then gave me a look as if to say that he had one more.  With pure innocence, not having any clue about the meaning of what he was saying, only aware that he was speaking English, smiling with great pride at  his newly acquired language abilities, he proceeded to pronounce one of the most inappropriate of four letter words in the English language followed by the word "you."  Not wanting to burst his bubble, I gently whispered, "sa pa janti, nou pa di sa. (that is not nice, we don't say that.)"

This morning, I went to liturgy at St. Louie.  The children all wear their best clothes to mass and sing with such joy.  My heart filled with a sense of gratitude.

Have a good week.  Take care.
          

Updates and a poem

It has been quite a while since I last updated this blog and much has happened, some wonderful moments with family and friends, and some sudden and deep sadness such as the death of a baby cousin.  I attended provincial chapter, returned to Rhode Island for a few days to be with my family, then went to Cape May NJ where I had a wonderful retreat experience. 

Here is a poem I wrote early during retreat which begins with an expression of my grief related to those who have died of Cholera in Haiti as well as the tragic death of my baby cousin. 

Water, I am angry. 
I am angry at you
for containing Cholera which killed countless people,
including four year old Katinana,
who had such a great giggle and traumatized eyes.

I'm angry at you
for luring Jameson with your playfulness and beauty
for flooding his little lungs
and forever separating his spirit from
his toddler body.

Water, you were my friend,
Your ocean waves have so often spoken to me of God
rhythmically stirring my soul from sleep,
often holding me afloat
or welcoming me for sacred moments beneath your surface.
who else could I pray and play with as I do you?

Water, you never failed to quench my thirst,
to cool me when I am hot,
to wash away the dirt and grime of daily life. 

Don't worry, my love,
my anger will dissolve.
I will forgive you.

Now I am feeling bold enough and sorrowful enough to ask
you, if you will forgive me and all of humanity,
for the countless ways we have
wasted, poisoned, and plundered you. 
In harming you we have hurt ourselves.

We are not separate from you.
You are in me; you are my blood.
Each sip of you I swallow can remind me
of our intimate unity.

Today as I stand by your side,
as I immerse myself in you,
I offer to you all that I have to give,
which is essentially you,
Releasing from my body,
flowing into yours,
beloved friend,
receive these tears. 


I plan to resume more consistent weekly blog updates beginning in mid August. I look forward to my return to Haiti in less than a week.  I hope you are having an enjoyable summer. 

For a month and a week: Orevwa Ayiti; Hello USA!

Since I last updated this blog, on the two days of work last week, I attended two positive meetings that gave me a sense of encouragement that certain situations would improve for the children at Kay St. Anne.  Some of those improvements were put into place almost immediately.  It was difficult to say "orevwa" to the children and to Haiti.  I already miss them; young children can grow so much in one month and one week.

On Wednesday morning, after some confusion regarding my prearranged ride to the airport, I left Haiti.  The flight from Haiti to Florida is considerably shorter than the flight from Florida to Providence. I arrived at my parents' house in Rhode Island on Wednesday evening.  There were many things to do in preparation for the wedding.  We have relatives visiting from Ireland.  It has been wonderful to see so many relatives and family friends during these past several  days.  My sister Erin and her long time boyfriend were married in a beautiful ceremony yesterday at the historical towers in Narragansett Pier. They seem happy, and I am happy for them.  We followed the Irish tradition of "afters" which means having a party following the wedding reception; it was entwined with the American tradition of the fourth of July celebration.  We had delicious chowder and clamcakes, a real Rhode Island specialty.  As the wonderful day of celebrations came to and end we could see fireworks near and far over and around Narragansett Bay.

I feel like I am a world away from Haiti, although I often find myself wondering how the children are doing and praying that all is well with them.
Often kind and caring people over the past several days have asked me, "How's Haiti?" Certainly it sounds like a simple question but there is no simple quick response.  Nothing comes to mind  that accurately captures the situation in Haiti well especially when  one is greeting guests at a wedding, a rehearsal dinner or a fourth of July party.

For the next month or so I may not be updating this blog every week, (perhaps a brief update from time to time but I am not committing to it) while I am on vacation, participating in the province chapter for my religious congregation, and on retreat.  Weekly updates will resume in August when I return to Haiti.    
Enjoy these summer days wherever you are!               

Jedi

On Thursday there was no school because it was a holiday, Corpus Christi.  I spent the morning at Kay St. Anne. When one of the newest children, a baby probably just over a year, who was barley over the chicken pox had a very water diarrhea that consisted of small white slimy peices shaped like rice, I got scared.  These are the classic symptoms of Cholera.  She was quickly sent to the Cholera hospital, where thank God it was determined that she did not have Cholera; she was returned to Kay St. Anne later that very day.  The next day she no longer was having white watery rice like diarrhea and even smiled a bit.    

There is a child who has been staying at the homes of workers and their families until it seems unlikely that she will get chicken pox from other children at Kay Saint Ann, because she has other health issues.  When workers were changing, on Thursday, afternoon I asked to go with them so that I could see the child before I go on vacation.  With a worker and a driver I into the crowded city and past the broken cathedral and what remains of the presidential palace, up hilly roads through well populated urban neighborhoods which felt to me like a maze.  It was great to see this wonderful little girl, who should be returning to Kay Saint Anne one day later this week.  She had grown, and seemed happy.  She slept in my arms much of the way to the other worker's home.

At some point during this journey my Haitian cell phone fell from my pocket.  The driver and worker and I searched the cab of the truck where I had been sitting but could not find it anywhere.  I thought it fell out when the child exited the truck.  It did not.  The phone was found in the truck probably the following day.   Last night, a friend called my number for me and the driver answered. When he returned it to me this morning I was appreciative of how honest and helpful people are until I realized all of the money on the phone card had been used except for one half of a gourde which is worth about two cents or so.  I am glad and grateful to have the phone back.

In a few days I will be able to use my american cell phone; I am really really glad for that.

Happy Father's Day!

Just wanted to share the beauty of this tree while it is in bloom. It is near my house.     

Happy Father's Day to my dad, grandfather, uncles and all fathers.  Working with children who are not being cared for by their families increases my appreciation for own family experiences.  

Yesterday a group of children from Ste. Anne went on a picnic.  We traveled to a nearby town to property which NPH owns.  It was wonderful for the children to walk around the land.  There were magnificent mango trees which provided great shade.  They children saw goats and pigs as we hiked around a bit, jumping over small streams of water.  Then they enjoyed sandwiches and Tampico (a sugary fruit drink popular with Haitian children.)  It was truly a great outing for them.  All of the children from Ste. Anne will get a chance to go there, and the older children from Ste. Louie will all get a chance to go to a beach sometime this summer.

There is much to do in the next week and  a half or so; at this point, although I will miss the children, I do find myself  looking forward to vacation.
Have a good week!    
 
  

    

Happy Pentecost!

The week began with continued cloudiness and rain, but by the end of the week we were back to the typical sunny and hot Haiti weather.  Yesterday, I went with a sister who is a nurse to a clinic at a parish in the city.  After driving through the crowded streets, we arrived to find a large crowd of people desperate for basic medical care. There were many people, especially children with skin conditions which probably were a result of living in wet tents during the past couple of weeks.   There is the sad realization when working with people who are experiencing what seem like extreme poverty, only to find that there are people much worse off.  People are given medications to treat their infections, skin problems, and injuries and illnesses.  In reality, so many of these problems are the results of systemic injustices, because so many of these things could easily be prevented if resources were more equally distributed, if people had adequate shelter, basic nutrition, clean water. I think it is helpful for me to see the kinds of situations that many of our children probably experienced prior to coming to Kay Ste. Ann.  I wonder what does world look like when seen through the eyes of a young Haitian mother or child living in a crowded dilapidated tent in the slums of Port-a-prince?

 Yesterday evening, I went to a local parish for liturgy with two other sisters.  The liturgy was beautiful the singing, like the people was Spirit-filled.  It was a wonderful Pentecost celebration.
Many Blessings!    

Toti epi Lapli Turtle and Rain

Toti 
I use a turtle puppet for the pscycho-social-educational groups which I am doing with the kindergarten and first grade classes at the Father Wasson Angels of Light School.  Over the course of the school year, I have become closely associated with this puppet, which is called Titoti (little turtle.)  Currently I am teaching the children about different emotions.  One of the books which came with the Kreyol children's library which my relatives purchased for Christmas, is the story of a child who finds a turtle on his way to school and puts the live turtle in his pocket.  During class he sits the turtle on his shoulder which causes another child to feel so frightened that the children runs out of the classroom.  I was reading the story to talk about feeling scared and afraid.  
I don't think the young guy who helps out at the school, knew that I would be reading this particular story last week, but when he found a turtle near where he lives, he decided to bring it to me, as a gift!  Somehow it seemed oddly providential given the story that I had planned to read that very morning; and I thought that it was very thoughtful of this young man to think of me, although in all honesty I received it with a bit of ambivalence as I wondered what I would do with this creature in my play therapy/class-room, which is really a tent.

Unlike the turtle in the story, this turtle was too big to even fit in an adult size pocket or sit on even a large person's shoulder!  I decided to keep turtle for a week, so that the children could get a chance to see it and then release it; I believe that it belongs in nature.  The children have mostly been curious and delighted, although a few were afraid that it would try to bite them. I decided it is a female, as one morning when I entered my tent, which was beginning to smell a bit like the reptile house at the zoo, there was a broken egg in the container where the turtle had been placed to swim.  I spent a long time cleaning the tent yesterday and have used a lot of hand sanitizer the past several days.

One night when I was able to get internet service, I looked up care for pet turtles so that I could learn all of the things I was doing wrong while trying to care for this creature.  There was a lot of information which was not helpful as I did not know what species I had, had not bought it in an American pet store, am not even sure if they sell turtle food sticks anywhere in Haiti, but am very certain that the merchants outside the gates of the hospital don't carry them.   The internet pet turtle experts talk about indoor and outdoor arrangements for pet turtles but I was not sure what they would consider a tent. In the little story I read to the children the turtle is given little pieces of carrots and apples.  Someone who had read the book when I left it in an office to dry one day brought me apples for the turtle the next day.  I asked the woman in the kitchen for scraps of vegetables and they gave me a carrot and a cabbage leaf.  People are so generous; an assistant teacher gave me a hat with a turtle on it this week too.    

Yesterday morning, when I arrived the turtle has left the container with water and was hiding under the green plastic tent floor partly in the mud.  I did not want to disturb it since I wondered if it could be making a nest.  This morning, when I went to check on the turtle I thought perhaps she had left on her own, but then found her hiding between two layers of fabric that make up the walls of the tent.  She will soon be enjoying her freedom.                
 Lapli
Normally during the rainy season, it rains most evenings or nights sometimes quite heavily but rarely for more than an hour.  The sun is usually out and it is fairly rare to have an overcast day.  This week has been an exception.  Hurricane season began the first of June, and we have had a tropical depression all week, which has meant cloudy rainy days.  The temperature has sometimes been cooler, but the humidity sometimes seems higher than usual.  Thursday it rained almost all day; the children did not have school because of Ascension Thursday.  When all 39 children were in the house all day long because of the weather, it made me very grateful that this kind of weather is so unusual here.  The humidity was so high that day that in the course of working with the children I had sweat through my clothes so much that one little girl pointed to my damp pant leg and innocently asked me if I had peed on myself!    

The swings at Kay Ste. Ann on Thursday, notice the puddles under them.  

On the mornings at the school, when I sweep the water out of my tent and try to keep the floor clean enough that children can sit on, my heart goes out to the thousands of people who are still living in crowded tents here in Haiti.  The rain also somehow makes Cholera incidences increase as well.  Let us pray for those living in tents, for those suffering from Cholera, and for a safe hurricane season.  Know that you, my family, friends, community members, and others reading this are in my prayers too.

Cholera Continues

People in Haiti continue to get Cholera.  There is not the same energy around it as when the illness first arrived. It has been quite a long time since volunteers here who were working in other programs were asked to also help out in the Cholera tents.  Now, buildings have replaced the tents and there is sufficient Haitian staff working there.  In the past several days though I was reminded several times that the problem has not gone away.  Several days this past week, daily liturgy was a funeral mass for victims of cholera.  A couple of the bodies on the chapel floor were quite small (babies or young children.)  

At the end of last week a young child, who I think may have significant disabilities, was brought over to Kay St. Anne.  While being treated for Cholera apparently the child was abandoned.  We do not know his age, only his name.  I think he could be about three or four, since when we stand him up he is about the height of some of our children who are that age, but it is hard to tell.  Since we don't know his age it is hard to get a sense of how delayed or disabled he is.  He is pretty much non verbal, although one day when I was playing with him when he grabbed my telephone, after I said "alo" (hello) many times and held it to his ear he eventually repeated the word clearly.  He does not walk, but does scoot around on the floor a bit.  Someone is trying to find a better placement for this child, where there are lower ratios of children to adults and where staff have received training  in serving children with significant special needs.  The organization I work with has one home at the orphanage in Kenskoft for children with disabilities, but it is full and not likely to have any spaces soon; many of the "children" who were placed there because of the degree of disability are now young adults who continue to reside there as they are not able to live independently.  The organization has some out-patient programs providing services to children who have disabilities as well.  I imagine it is challenging for any family anywhere to care well for a child with a severe disability, but here in Haiti, where there is so much extreme poverty, so few resources, where even non-disabled poor children are not given the right to a free and appropriate education, and subsidies like social security disability are non existent, it is a far greater challenge.  A family who abandons such a child may believe that an organization that can run a hospital must have access to resources to care for the child in a way that the family can't. While this Haitian child who likely has significant disabilities who was abandoned in a Cholera camp,  seems to have so much going against him in life; I must say his smile is brighter and more frequent than the smiles of most people I know.           

Today is Mother's Day in Haiti; so, Happy Mother's Day again.  I am also aware that it is Memorial Day weekend in the states, so Happy Memorial Day, too.  I always think of Memorial weekend as the beginning of the summer season.  In Haiti it always feels like summer; the past week or so has felt to me like an August heat wave, although fortunately it is not so very hot here today.  

A month from now, I will be heading home for Erin (my younger sister's) wedding, followed by vacation, provincial chapter and retreat.  I look forward to catching up with family and friends. 

      

Chicken Pox, Fet Drapo, and New Arrivals

When we had only a handful of children left at Kay Ste. Anne who did not have the chicken pox and all of the other children who were sick including some of the youngest ones, were in the containers at Kay Ste. Louie, it was decided that all of the children should just return to Kay Ste. Anne.  I suspect some of the children who did not get chicken pox may have had it when they were younger.  One child is still away, due to other health problems; it was decided to keep her away from the other children, until the chicken pox are gone.  When the children are itchy and terribly uncomfortable the workers turn on the hose and water the children, which does seem to provide relief for a while. 

On Tuesday the school had a celebration for Fet Drapo (flag day.)  A group of talented musicians came with trumpets, a trombone and drums and led most of the children in a parade around a few nearby blocks.  The younger children stayed behind and danced and played.  Wednesday was the offical Hatian Flag Day.  Schools were closed for the holdiay.  I spent the day at Kay Ste. Anne mostly attendingn to sick children, and organizing some activities for those that were up to it.  The workers turned on the generator and the television and the children watched a program of flag day festitvites which was occuring live somehere in Haiti. Haitian music and dance is reallly beautiful. 

The Haitian people really do take pride in their flag and in their history and in their culture.  I think I can respect that such days are importnat to them and even enjoyed wishing people "Bon Fet Drapo,"  even though, for me something like Flag Day in the United States is not particularrly important. Although thinking about it did spark a memory for me. In all my  life, I only remember ever doing anything to celebrate Flag Day in the United States one time; that was when I was in second grade and the entire elementary school walked to Narragansett Pier (the center of town) singining patriotic songs (we practiced so much that to this day, whenever I hear the song America the Beautiful finish, in my head I start singning You're a Grand Old Flag.) 

On Thursday we had five new children move into Kay Ste. Anne. One new little girl, problaby under two sat silently eating her lunch while tears rolled down her face.  It is so hard for me to imagine what it must be like for these children when they first arrive.  At times, I tend to wish there were fewer children in the home, because I tend to beleive that it is hard for staff to meet their emotional needs well when there are so many.  As each new child comes, I find that they are such delightful individuals, I can't help but love them. Often I need to remind myself that this situaiton, is probably much better in many ways from the situations they are coming from. 

 Please excuse spelling errors, I am using a different computer that is not my own, and it seems to be set to spell check in French.  Thanks.

chicken pox and ti krapo (little frog)

The current challenge here is that several of the children in our program have, or recently have had chicken pox, and it seems likely more will get it.  At least in my mind chicken pox seems like a normal childhood illness that children typically recover from without problem, unlike other illness children in Haiti often get.  Once the children are diagnosed with it they are staying in one container at St. Louie to avoid contact with others.  The children do seem to handle these things fairly well.

On a lighter note, the other morning when I was almost awake, trying to recall my dreams before opening my eyes and beginning the day, I suddenly felt something land on me.  I yelped and jumped up immediately at which point I noticed a frog sitting on the floor next to my bed, which is where he landed when I sprang to my feet.  At seeing this little creature I laughed out loud.  I think it is some kind of a tree frog; they are pretty common around here.  These frogs amaze me with their ability to climb walls and to jump great distances for such little animals.  Sometimes you see them sitting very still for a long time waiting for a bug to go by.  This frog however was not very still; I think that is why I liked him and was quickly able to forgive him for getting me out of bed a couple minutes earlier than usual.  Since the internal walls in our home do not go all the way up the ceiling this frog was able to scale the wall a few times while I was getting ready for work, eating breakfast and praying.  When I was ready to leave for the day, the frog was by the door.  I opened it and gently guided the frog out.  While I don't mind an occasional little frog or small lizard in the house since they eat bugs, I prefer them not be on my bed most especially while I am in it! I was glad the frog left since the woman I share a house with was staying home because she was ill  that day and I was not sure if she would appreciate a frog landing on her resting body.

In national news the new president was inaugurated yesterday. I received an email from the professor of Creole I had in Miami last summer with a link to an article/letter he wrote encouraging the president to use Creole, the language of the people rather than French which many Haitians not fortunate enough to have been well educated can not really understand.   It is of course written in Creole, I decided to include the link if anyone is interested:
 http://www.alterpresse.org/spip?page=kr     

Have a good week.  Watch out for jumping frogs!
Take care.  

Here is the frog as it is climbing the wall of the bedroom.  A view of the face would have been more flattering perhaps, but this frog was just not sitting still! 

Happy Mother's Day to my mother, grandmothers, aunts, and all mothers and mother figures.

Today I was a God mother.  Well, in this program our children's sponsors, (generous people in the US and Europe who agree to send regular payments to help our children who are assigned a child to sponsor,) are often referred to as God parents.  Today though since those God parents do not come, I was considered a Maren (God mother.)  I had the privilege of holding a child in my arms arms, a child who needs assistance to walk because of a physical disability, while he was baptized.  He is a grateful young child with a beautiful smile.  The children were all dressed up, girls in while dresses, and the boys from St. Louie all had little bow ties.  Several truckloads, and small bus trips took the children, some of their family members and workers to a parish church about a half an hour away.  Many children were baptized, and some of the children from St. Louie received first communion,  some even received both sacraments today.  It was a long, (especially for the toddlers) liturgy, but a beautiful one.  The children were attentive and seemed to understand the importance of the day, except for the toddlers, who were very well behaved for toddlers.
Afterwards everyone returned to St. Louie for a fet (party.)  It was fun.  The children and family members who came really seemed to enjoy themselves.  My job was cutting the large, beautiful cake into a couple hundred pieces for all of the children, guests and workers.
It was a good day.  I hope you had a good one as well.      

Storm and norm

On Thursday, as I was on my way home from work, suddenly a very bad thunderstorm, with unusually strong winds arrived.  I was in a tap-tap with a co-worker, and I called my supervisor asking her, to meet me where I get off the tap-tap, so that I would not have to walk even the short distance home.  Just running quickly from one vehicle to the other I got drenched and most of the contents in my back pack were at least damp too.  When I arrived at my little house, I put towels on the floor to soak up the water that had come in, mostly from under the front door.  

When I arrived at the school the next morning, a few of the tents that are used as classrooms had blown down almost completely.  Workers had moved benches from the classrooms to a space near the containers that has a roof over it, so the children would be in the shade. Classes resumed normally.  There was too much water on the floor of the tent I use for my groups, so I found a different place to work.  In between groups I swept the floor, and by the end of the day it was dried out so I was able to use it for a therapy appointment I had with a child.  Assistant teachers and other workers, worked all day to reassemble the tents that are used as classrooms.  When such things happen people do what they need to do and keep going.  Here, in Haiti, there are still so many people who are living in tents.  Tents of course are not designed to be lived in for long periods of time.  I am sure many of those were blown down or flooded with water.     

 

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go for a long scenic ride to a clinic in a rural area.  As we passed dwelling places without electricity or running water, people working the land with simple tools, women selling fruits and vegetables in crowded marketplaces, I thought for most of history and even now in many places most people have lived more like this than how we in the United States live today.  Sometimes I forget this, and act as though having so many comforts and conveniences is the norm, rather than the exception.      

This week I also began to help prepare some of the children at St. Anne for baptism; I am at least helping the older ones to understand what it means and what to expect.  Next Sunday many children in the program will receive sacraments.

Please excuse my slow response to emails and things, the internet has been unreliable, but I am very grateful it is working quite well at the moment!  

Have a good week.  

Take care, 

Kathleen 

Happy Easter!

Recently, I was asked to incorporate some religious education into what I am doing with the children at St. Anne.  I began doing this on Holy Thursday, meeting with small groups of the children telling them the story of these holy days.  When I spoke of Jesus washing the feet of the apostles, in order to make it a little more concrete for them, I decided to wash their feet.  When I was nearly finished with the first group, a child asked to wash mine; I was very touched by this gesture of such a young child.

On Good Friday I went with another sister to liturgy at the local parish since we were not having mass at the little chapel here on the grounds of St. Damien Hospital.  We found seats in the church. There were also some people sitting outside in plastic chairs, who could here the liturgy.  I had not realized how many people were present until the veneration of the cross when so many of varying ages, and probably different classes processed into the church to kiss the cross.  This went on for nearly an hour, while people sang beautifully and solemnly.  There is such great faith among the people here, many of whom have experienced Good Friday suffering throughout their lives.

On Easter Sunday there was mass at St. Louie.  In the evening volunteers gathered for a party and spaghetti dinner.  It always a gift to celebrate with people.

Hopefully you had a Happy Easter as well, and will experience Easter joy everyday!


 

Here is a picture I took in the mountains yesterday.  Haiti really is a beautiful country. Although I also saw a lot of suffering and difficult sights as well like earth quake rubble and the faces of people living in extreme poverty.  Yesterday I went with a sister who works here at the hospital, who used to work in the mountains in a place called Fondwa.   We drove through the crowded city of Portaprince and then into the mountains.  

Today we had a Palm Sunday Liturgy at St. Louie.  The oldest of the children from St. Anne came.  Eight of them moved into St. Louie today.  One seemed sad, a couple seemed happy since they have siblings there already.

May you have a blessed Holy Week!  

Updates and Thoughts

There was no school on Monday, although by the time they actually announced the election results the children would have long since returned home.  Martelly is the name of the next president of Haiti; his stage name as a singer is "Sweet Mickey."  His campaign slogan was "tet kale" literally means "bald head," figuratively it means something like the "the real thing.  " If I remember correctly, last summer in Kreyol class when we were learning about music, before he declared his desire to be president, the professor talked about Sweet Mickey, saying something like, "all of his songs are nasty."  I don't know what to expect and never felt I had enough information about actual issues to form an opinion regarding the election.  We shall see what happens.  The week was peaceful, no major manifestations or protests that I am aware of following the results.

I was saddened by the news that a sister in my congregation, Sr. Helen died this week.  My prayers went out to her, her family and the other sisters in our small province. Please pray for all of us who will miss her.

A few of the children who reside at St. Anne who are already six years old will be transitioning to St. Louie next weekend.  I am working with them to prepare them.  When told they will be moving, they seemed mostly excited.  A few of them having siblings there already.  I felt a little sad that they will be leaving Kay St. Anne to live with the older children.  Soon after they move out more little ones will be joining the baby house.  The needs here are endless.  

If a security guard, or a stranger on the street asks me how I am in French, Spanish, Creole or sometimes even in English, I respond in Haitian Creole.  

The children are really enjoying the books my relatives bought.  I enjoy reading with them and some of the workers do too.  They love being read to.  Some of the books I will use when I do the psychosocial program with the children at the school. Thanks again to all my family members who chipped in!

Well, I am off to St. Louie this evening where they children will be praying the Stations of the Cross.
Have a good week.
 Take care,
Kathleen