A Year later

Exactly one year ago today I said Orevwa to Haiti.  In some ways it seems as though it has been a very long time since I was there, in other ways it feels like I just left, and at times it seems that there is a piece of me that is still there.

  

I had heard in the past that re-entry is often an important often neglected part of the mission experience and that reverse culture shock can be more difficult than culture shock.  These things I would agree with.  My past year has also involved multiple and somewhat complicated transitions, losses, and surprises, disappointments, discoveries and really almost constant change.     

Sometimes I go to the Haitian Creole liturgy here in New Orleans.  A few weeks ago there was a young American woman sitting behind me who I began talking with.  She had spent some time working in Haiti.  Today I met here at a local cafe and we talked for a couple of hours telling of our stories and experiences in Haiti.  They were the kind of stories which only someone who had been there could really understand or appreciate.  It is a gift when I can talk with people who have been there; such connections are energizing and important.  

It is also a gift when I have the chance to pale Kreyol because while I know I have forgotten some, I am making an effort to hold on to a langue I worked so hard to learn.  

I am grateful for the internet and for facebook where I get to see pictures and even an occasional video of the children.  The house which was Kay Ste. Ann was rented by NPH for one year, and now a new home has been built for the children, a brand new Kay St. Ann!  It looks great, at least the pictures I see over the internet make it look wonderful.  Here is a link to a video that NPH posted on facebook a few weeks ago.  The child is one I knew well, but because she has grown so much since I left, and because her name is changed to protect her identity, I did not know it was her at first. I was only completely certain of her identity when I saw the pictures at the very end of this video.  Young children really change a lot in a year.      https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QHGZ0eQe0lI

A few weeks ago I wondered if the children especially because they are so very young would even remember me.  Very soon after I had that thought although I had not told anyone that I had been thinking that, a volunteer wrote on facebook, "A chorus of Ste. Anne kiddos announced to me this morning that you need to come back to Haiti! You are still remembered."  

My experiences have changed my thinking.  A couple of weeks ago there was a possible problem with the water in New Orleans and while the city was testing the tap water we were advised to boil it before drinking.  In some strange way, I felt this was a great reminder that most people in the world do not always have clean drinking water right in their own home.  I had a sense of solidarity, yet was skeptical that the water could have really gotten contaminated to the point of being dangerous; I just could not imagine that the water here could have something as serious as say Cholera. Once it was tested the city said that the water was fine.  Having been in Haiti, also prepared me for the days without electricity and air conditioning resulting from Hurricane Issac.  Sometimes I wish everyone could have an experience like I had in Haiti, and an opportunity to get at least a glimpse of what life is like for many of our brothers and sisters with whom we share this earth.  Sometimes I catch myself acting as though I have lost touch with my own experiences; I hate when I behave like an entitled American.  

It does seem impossible that an entire year has passed.  I am now working at Covenant House New Orleans and enjoying it.  The job I started last winter was really not a good fit for me for a variety of reasons.  I also moved from one local community to another, but on the same property.  I am now beginning to get somewhat settled and am finally emerging from the midst of many major transitions.  

My strongest emotion when I think of my time in Haiti, is gratitude   I am grateful for the experiences  for all the people I met, all that I learned and unlearned, and for all those who were supportive.  

Mesi   Bon Dye,  mesi anpil!   

runny noses

I remember when I first worked at Kay Saint Anne, and one of the babies had a runny nose.  I asked a worker for something to wipe the child's nose, expecting a tissue.  I never did learn the word for tissue in Haitian Creole since we never had any at work.  The worker took the bottom of the little shirt the baby wore and lifted it to the baby's face to wipe the runny nose.  This memory came to me the other day at work, when we were having a baby shower for a coworker.  One of the presents that someone gave to the expectant mother was a battery operated gadget designed to get the snot out of an infant's nose while playing pleasant music.  While someone was seriously commenting on what a practical gift this was, my mind could not help but wander back to Kay St. Anne.  Towards the end of my time in Haiti it became possible to locate toilet paper at Kay St. Anne relatively easily at least on most days, which I did use to wipe children's noses; no batteries needed.

Two years have passed since the earthquake.  Here is a slide show someone from Haiti posted on Facebook the other day, commemorating the 25th anniversary of NPH Haiti, as well as the second anniversary of the earthquake.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmLlwo0PFNQ&feature=share
Enjoy!

Today I had a good time speaking Haitian Creole to a sister who speaks perfect Parisian French, but who could some how, amazingly enough understand my very poor Haitian Creole.  
If you are still reading this despite the fact that I have been back in theUS for three months and my posts are infrequent,thank you, mesi!
Take care, Kathleen

New Job, New Year

I started a new job on Tuesday.  It is a clinical position, which will allow me to use my counseling skills to serve people who have substance abuse problems.  Before I left the house on my first day of  work someone asked me if I would haven an office or a cubical.  Without giving it much thought I stated that I would surely have an office, explaining that for clinical work a cubical does not have adequate privacy especially for conducting counseling session.  I was wrong; the therapists each have a cubical in one large room where we all conduct individual counseling sessions (actually, at the current time I am sharing a small cubical).  I remembered my office in Philadelphia where the walls went all the way to the ceiling and I could close the door, and even turn on a little sound machine that made white noise making it more difficult for anyone standing outside the door the listen in on the content of a therapy session.  After a nostalgic moment, I thought of my therapy situation in Haiti, when I had a tent and tried not to do play therapy when the older children were at recess because if I did I would have to constantly ask the older children not to watch through the tent window. When I did not have the tent, which occurred when I first started doing play therapy in Haiti and again after my tent fell down, I had to find a space in the containers which rarely provided the ideal space or  the privacy I wanted and were often very hot.  If I compare my current work situation to what I had in Philadelphia, I will only feel frustrated, if on the other hand I compare it to Haiti I will feel grateful. So many things are like this.

Today I went to a Haitian Creole Sunday liturgy here in New Orleans.  Although I am from time to time listening to daily news in Creole through the internet and reading things written in Haitian Creole, I think I am starting to lose a little bit of the language.  I feel like I worked so hard to learn what I know, even though I am not quite fluent, that I want to try to maintain the skills I have.  A toddler was looking at me during mass, and I played peek-a-boo with her for a moment.  She reminded me of the little ones at Kay St. Anne.  When I knew the to a couple of the songs during the liturgy I felt a real sense of joy, as I sang along (although not too loudly of course since I don't sing well in any language.)  

In general I am doing quite well.  There have been many things to adjust to as I have been transitioning in so many ways for quite some time now. On Christmas day my maternal grandfather passed away. I miss him a great deal and am saddened by his loss, and am very grateful for the gift  of having known him.  

Certainly 2011 for me a year with a lot of loss and so many funerals.  The cycle of life we see everywhere, and the paschal mystery shows that dying leads to new life, death to resurrection.  So, I begin this new year with a sense of hope and a sense of gratitude for all that I have, for all those I know and have known, and for life itself.  Haiti certainly has taught me not to take anything or anyone for granted and witnessed to me that it is always possible to have a sense of hope and joy.  

Happy New Year!