Peace Pole

You have probably seen a peace pole somewhere.  On each of the four sides in four different languages are words about peace on the Earth.  There is one here on the grounds of teh convent in New Orleans where I am staying and will be officially moving to  in a few weeks.  One of the four languages happens to be Haitian Creole.  Near the foot of the peace pole there are flowers some of which are the very same kind that grow near the chapel on the grounds of St. Damien Hospital in Tabarre Haiti.  I recognize them because some mornings before liturgy in Haiti, I would pick some of those flowers to place on the body bags; so many mornings daily liturgy was a funeral.  I am grateful that since I left Haiti, I have yet to go into a church for daily liturgy and see body bags containing Cholera victims or dead babies on the floor.  I find that I am grateful for things that I never would have thought tobe grateful for prior to going to Haiti.  Today near the peace pole and the flowers that I saw a beautiful orange butterfly; a much welcomed reminder to me of resurrection and transformation.       

Weather

Everything in America looks different to me because I spent time in Haiti.  The other day, when someone commented that the roads near her house were not well maintained, my mind wandered to the dirt roads in the neighborhood of Kay Ste. Ann and bouncing in the seat or in the back of the truck on the way home from school with the children.  While I could easily acknowledge the imperfections in the road probably due to warm summers and cold winters, the roads looked quite good to me, since these things are relative.  When someone talked about how bad the mosquitoes were in Philadelphia last summer, I acknowledge how annoying that must have been, but my thought was yes, but, at least, here it is highly unusual for them to carry malaria or other serious illnesses.  I did here from a volunteer in Haiti yesterday that a couple of children at St. Louie have Malaria, and also that there have been some recent difficulties with the safety of the drinking water for the children.  How strange it seems to me now, that here, I take a warm shower in water that is actually perfectly safe to drink.   

I took this right after the snow started yesterday; we actually had a couple of inches on the ground this morning.  It is very beautiful! 

If the conveniences and other cultural aspects related to reentry and reverse culture shock were not apparent enough, I only had to look out my window yesterday to be once again reminded that I am clearly not in Haiti anymore.  Snow in October, while there are still leaves on the tress, highly unusual for Philadelphia.  Today when I look out the window it looks like autumn and winter at the same time, as there is still snow on the ground and many of the trees are dazzling with their fall colors shining in the sun.  I am enjoying it as there was no winter or fall in Haiti, and New Orleans does not get the significant seasonal changes either.  Actually it will be nice to be in a place that is considerably cooler than Haiti, and considerably warmer than Philadelphia.  I enjoy all kinds of weather, though, so I go where my heart leads.

Here is the website for the Marianites of Holy Cross, the congregation I will be transferring to:
http://www.marianites.org/


 

Orevwa Ayiti, Cheri!

Tuesday evening there was a at party at Kay Ste. Anne to say, "mesi, orevwa," (thank you and good bye) to me.  The children sang and they danced.  It was so touching.  They presented me with a booklet of drawings that children had made with notes on the back of the pages from many of the workers.  At the party, I laughed with the children and cried as I said my farewells.  I miss them a great deal. 

 Using money that people had given me for Haiti, I was able to put new mats down for the children to play on and bought a tent like play house and some new puzzles and other toys for the playroom I had set up many months ago.  Thank you to all who gave me money for the children of Haiti.  Thank you too for all of you who were encouraging and supported me with your prayers and compassion.

  There was a volunteer from the states who painted a mural in the chapel during the last week or so that I was there.  There had been some earthquake damage in the chapel by the hospital where the volunteers and others gather for liturgy each morning.  The mural speaks to me of hope and transformation which continues to take place in Haiti.  Sometimes it is hard to get a good sense of what it changing in Haiti on the larger scale, but in the lives of individual children, and in the Father Wasson Angels of Light program as a whole I must say I have seen much hope and positive changes during the fourteen months that I was there.  If nothing else, I know that the time I spent in Haiti, the contact I had with the people of Haiti, the experiences I had have certainly transformed me and I am grateful   

    
When I told people in Haiti, I was leaving they typically asked me when I was coming back.  I told them I would not be returning, and then said, maybe someday, "si Dye vle."  This seemed to satisfy most, as if God wants is a common comment among the people of Haiti who have so much trust in the will of God.

On Thursday afternoon, I flew Portauprince to Miami, and then my flight to Philadelphia was delayed.  I arrived in Philly very early Friday morning. 

I heard from an American women who is volunteering as a nurse with the FWAL program.  Even though the children had a good-bye party for me and knew for quite some time that I was leaving, and even though I explained to some of them that I was going so far away that I would take two airplanes to get there, when they saw the nurse and one of the driver's for the program, the children asked the driver if he would go and get me and bring me back to St. Anne.  Just thinking about that, causes me to want to laugh and cry at the same time.  

Please continue to keep the people of Haiti in your prayers.  Please pray for me too, as I reenter into the so called "first world," and also begin a major transition of transferring from my current religious congregation, the Sisters of the Holy Redeemer to the Marianites of Holy Cross.  After a long discernment process, I truly have a sense of peace that this is what God is inviting me to at this point in my life, but farewells and transitions are rarely easy.  

 Thank you again, to everyone who was supportive to me in any way during my time in Haiti.  I am grateful to for all of the people in Haiti, who taught me so very much. I am not sure how regularly I will update this, if at all since I am no longer in Haiti.  Thank you for reading it. May you experience God's presence on your life's journey wherever it leads you.  Many Blessings!  Take care. 
Love and Prayers,
Kathleen

Reflections as I prepare for my final days in Haiti

There are somethings about Haiti I will surely miss.  There are other things I will not miss, and there are many things I will probably miss with a sense of ambivalence.Needless to say I will miss the children at St. Anne and St. Louie.  I will miss their smiles, their laughter.  I will miss the ways the young children stand behind me while I pretend to look for them and they call out while giggling "Se Kathleen pa we m" (Sister Kathleen doesn't see me.)  I will miss seeing children for play therapy, but I won't miss the challenge of finding a place to conduct therapy with an acceptable amount of privacy. I will miss the workers at St. Anne.  I will miss the morning liturgies in the chapel at St. Damien, but it will be very nice to attend daily liturgy where I know there is nearly a zero percent chance (as apposed to a nearly 95% chance) that morning mass will be a funeral for dead babies and or cholera victims.  I will miss the volunteers here a great deal, but I won't miss people who did not go to mass asking me how many bodies there were at mass.  I will miss speaking Creole and learning new words but I won't miss the frustration I feel when I really don't understand what someone is telling me even though they have repeated themselves several times.  I will miss the sound of the rain on the metal roof, but not miss the rain falling through the roof onto the floor of these little houses. The list could go on, but I don't really want to bore you.  Mostly I will miss the people.  

 There were a lot of visitors here this weekend because a Dominican sister from the United States who worked for NPH many years ago, now in her 90s returned for a visit since the Cholera hospital is being named for her.  There was a very lovely liturgy held on the grounds of St. Luke and St. Philomen hospitals nearby.  Teenagers and young adults she had cared for when they were babies came to the mass; it was very touching.  As I looked around at the land where the liturgy was held I thought about how,so much has changed since I arrived 14 months ago.  When I first came, the FWAL children had their summer camp program on those grounds, and very soon after my arrival moved to where St. Louie and the FWAL school currently stand.  A couple of months later, tents were placed on that property to treat people suffering from Cholera.  Now, there are more permanent structures there.  When I look at how much some of the children have grown and changed in the past fourteen months, it is amazing.  It is a privilege to have witnessed such growth.  Although I can't quite name all of the ways yet, I feel that my time here has changed me as well.

Please continue to pray for the people of Haiti.  Please pray for me as well, as I say my goodbyes here in the coming days.  I hope that you are well.  Thank you for all those who have been supportive to me in so many ways during my time here; be assured of my continued gratitude and prayers.

Hand-Me Downs and ti bebe (little baby)

Hand-Me-Downs
 Since, school started, it was more difficult than usual to find a private place to conduct individual therapy sessions with the children I have been seeing for play therapy.  The tent I used during the previous school year is no longer standing.  There was an empty shipping container at St. Louie which seemed like a reasonable spot, although it was impossible to close the door the all of the way from the inside.  While I was working with one boy who is about seven years of age, a girl who used to live at St. Anne came to the container door and slid papers with hearts drawn on them through the crack between the container door and called out the name of the boy I was working with. Later I realized that the tee-shirt the little girl was wearing had a picture of two dogs sharing a drink and and had the words, "Puppy love" written on it in English.  While I thought her shirt was perfectly appropriate she hadn't a clue what the words on it meant.  Many people in Haiti don't know what their tee-shirts say, because often they are hand me downs from the United States.  My guess is that somehow when thrift shops get too much, the excess finds its way to the Haitian people.  When we have passed people selling clothing on the side of the roads volunteers have joked that one of us might see something that once was ours.  People wear shirts with the names of events they could not possibly have attended, races they have never run, schools that are very different from their own, and cities no one in their family has ever visited.  Sometimes people are oblivious to the reality that their shirt has a rude message on it.  On one occasion I explained to a very kind and agreeable woman who among other tasks, mops the floors (an endless job) at Kay St. Anne, what her shirt meant, on the front it read, "why be difficult" and the back said, "when you can be impossible."  Another day, I saw a young dark skinned Haitian man wearing a tee-shirt with the words, "Irish grandmother" printed across the chest.  It is not just clothes, many cars, trucks, including tap-taps,were probably once in the states.  Sometimes they still have fading signs of companies that I just know are not doing business in Haiti, or signs which make untrue claims, that they are shuttling people from the New Ark airport to a New Jersey hotel.  Every now and then you see a vehicle adorned with two license plates, one Haitian and the other American; Florida is the most common but I have seen several other states represented.

Ti Bebe
Yesterday I accompanied a sister who is a nurse to volunteer at a clinic at a parish church near one of the poorest areas of the city.  The image of one tiny baby stays with me. This fifteen day old, was being cared for by her young aunt, who said that the mother of the baby had died.  They tiny baby was quite malnourished, probably because the aunt was not able to purchase formula.  The baby was given medicine because she had a fever and infection and referred to a malnutrition program.  As I looked at that tiny child, I could not help but think of how we have no control over the circumstances in which we are born.
   

Next weekend will be my final weekend here. This blog may be ending in a couple of weeks as my time here ends.  If I know that people would continue to read it, perhaps I will at least for a couple of months, do some updates as I reflect on my time in Haiti when I am no longer here.  Please, let me know if this would be of interest to you.  

Please keep the people of Haiti in your prayers, especially that little baby and other very sick people who are living in extreme poverty like those whom I met yesterday.  Thank you!  

    

Anpil Bagay (Many things)

There are so many things I want to write about this week.  As it was a full weekend, is already getting late, so I'll give brief perhaps seemingly random summaries and thoughts:

One day my heart ached for a mother who arrived at the chapel during morning liturgy looking sad and distraught because her child was one of the several dead we were praying for that morning, lying there covered in a cloth on the chapel floor. This mother still had a hospital bracelet around her own wrist which made me wonder if the child had died at or soon after birth, or if they both had been in the Cholera hospital at the same time.  

Yesterday was the monthly visitor's day for the children of St. Louie and St. Anne.  As always it is such a difficult day for some of the children who do not have any relative that comes to see them.  Yet, it is difficult for some of the children who do have visitors when their visitors' leave.  Yesterday one father decided to take his children home with him.  In this particular case I think this was a good thing for him and for the children.

It seemed rather ironic to me the other night, when I decided to wait until the heavy rains stopped before leaving my house to get water, especially as water (although not safely drinkable) was dripping from the ceiling onto my bedroom floor.

Today I went on a day trip to Kenskoft to visit the children who used to live at St. Anne that moved to the big orphanage in the mountains several weeks ago. The children mostly seem to be doing well there, thank God.  I am a bit concerned about one of the youngest little girls who was sent up there, because she looked so sad on both occasions that I have visited since they moved.  As I am not planning to return to Kenskoft in the next (less than) three weeks, it was the beginning of goodbyes for me.  

School will start for the children at the Father Wasson Angel of Light School tomorrow.  School is started later this year than originally scheduled so that more children can go to school for free.  It is hard for me to get a good sense of exactly what took place in the past month that will enable more children to attend school than would have if it had started in September.  This has been one effort of the president and I did notice billboard type signs on the road to Kenskoft with pictures taken of President Martelly with smiling school children wearing new uniforms and Haitian Creole words about children going to school.  In general though it seems that many people here in Haiti are frustrated with how little is happening to improve their lives.  

Have a good week!  

 

Byenveni e Orevwa (Welcome and Goodbye)

We welcomed 14 new children at Kay Saint Anne on Monday.  Some of the young children looked scared and confused when they arrive to this new place and when the relatives who brought them left.  It does not take long to love the new children, to realize that they all have unique personalities and preferences.  A few were scared of the two puppies that now resided on the grounds of St. Anne, while one of the youngest toddlers to arrive was fascinated by them.  Much time and energy this past week was spent helping the new children get used to the routines of the house.

As the walls in our little prefabricated volunteer houses do not go all the way to the ceiling three of us who live in the house hear everything (except if it is raining then the only thing you can hear is the rain on the metal roof.)  One of the women I live with, told me she could hear me talking in my sleep recently but could not hear what I was saying.  It would not surprise me if I was saying, "lave men ou apre ou itilize twalet (wash your hands after you go to the bathroom,) since I find myself saying that with great frequency most days.  Of course when 36 children under the age of six live in one house, in a country that continues to have a cholera epidemic (or perhaps by now it may be endemic), I think it is important. When, I came to Haiti, at some level I knew that I would not really know what I would be doing until I was there, but somehow thought I would be doing more clinical social  work, and had even been trained in EMDR (a therapy used in trauma treatment) before coming.  I have been doing play therapy with several children, but I spent a lot more time encouraging basic things like hand washing especially at Kay St. Anne.  Before coming I kept saying I felt called to go where the needs were the greatest, and even here once I arrived, what I thought would have been the greatest need (trauma therapy) could not take prescience over more basic needs such as safety and sanitation.  When I see the great poverty and suffering that exists in this country I can't say I have done much to make any systemic changes or done anything that would appear significant overall.   But I can say that now most of the time, most of the children at Kay Saint Anne wash their hands with soap after they use the bathroom and before meals.  I am not sure if I truly convinced people that it is dangerous to store bleach in bottles that used to contain sugary soft drinks especially if the bottles are occasionally left on the ground especially in a house where up to 40 children under the age of six live at any one time, but even if there are people working in the house who are not fully convinced of the danger, it does not happen anymore which I think has to do with my persistence (although in this specific instance I must admit I was not always particularly patient.)  
 
Yesterday after work, I went with a short term group of medical volunteers on a tour of the city.  I had seen much of it before, but each time I go downtown, I see something different.  I noticed that the rubble had been cleared from around and inside the existing broken shell that was the Catholic Cathedral of Portauprince.  It appears too, that some of the remains of the presidential palace are being dismantled.  In many places, there are still thousands of people living in tents, right across the street from the palace. Most tents have been reinforced with something perhaps scraps of wood or  metal or have sturdy sticks holding them up,  and many have extra tarps on them, probably to help keep out the rain.  Event he tents here for our short term volunteers where I lived my first month here has a tarp on it now.

In less than one month I will be leaving Haiti. After a long prayerful discernment process, I have made a decision which has resulted in my leaving Haiti earlier than I initially planned, which I expected when I made the decision.  I truly have a deep sense of peace and joy believing this is the right decision for me at this time in my life, although saying good bye to the children is going to be especially difficult.

Please continue to keep the people of Haiti in your prayers.  Many Blessings!

Basic Updates

Since ten children from St. Anne had moved to St. Louie and the 15 new children will move in tomorrow, it was a calmer week at Kay St. Anne.  I actually think the ratios this past week were more like what I would ideally want them to be all of the time, because smaller numbers allow for better supervision and more individual attention for the children.  When there are so many needs and such limited resources, in a country like this I imagine, it is difficult for those in management positions to find the balance between taking in more children who are in desperate need, or serving fewer children while providing more intense services.  We heard this week that there are currently  budget concerns across programs.  It really makes you realize how everything is connected, economic problems in the United States and Europe impact the amount of donations that organizations such as NPH receive, but the needs don't decrease and here in Haiti because of the earthquake and cholera needs have increased greatly. While this is not a fundraising blog, and I don't like asking I decided it is important enough to mention that if anyone reading this who may be interested in making a donation to NPH, if you would like you could ask that it specifically go to Haiti,  and directly to the Father Wasson Angel of Light program, here is the link to the website of the fundraising arm of the organization:   http://www.friendsoftheorphans.org/s/769/start.aspx

This week during activities at St. Anne, when I wanted to do something a little different, I taught some of the children a classic american children's  game, only I called "kanna kanna zwa", instead of "duck duck goose."  I was surprised that they enjoyed it so much, that several times later in the week the children got together and spontaneously played it themselves during their free time.  I enjoyed watching some of the toddlers who did not fully understand the part of the game where you try to return to the other person's seat on the floor, but who took great pleasure in tapping the heads of other children and joyfully exclaiming, "kanna!"   

On Friday I visited with the children who had moved from St. Anne to St. Louie last week.  They all seem to have adjusted well and are doing fine.  

Yesterday morning, I went with the other volunteer and a driver to visit the family of the child I had accompanied in the states last year, who died a couple of weeks ago.  We were warmly welcomed into their small house, which was essentially one little room, with a couple of beds, a table, four plastic chairs, and a shelf with a small television. As I looked at the way the exposed  wires hung from the ceiling, I wondered what my father (an electrician, who often comments on how things are wired when visiting a new place) would say; I suspect the wiring would have made him nervous.  When the other volunteer needed to use the bathroom during the visit, she was apparently provided with a bucket.  The child's mother, two brothers, and a cousin were there.  One of his brothers resembled him quite a bit.  Everyone in the immediate family seems to be relatively tall and quite thin, and each had a beautiful smile.  I enjoyed visiting and talking with them. The family seemed appreciative of our presence, and of the donation we had brought to them, which I believe was from the Rotary Club in Florida which had sponsored the heart surgery last fall.    

Hope you are doing well.  Have a good week.

Perspective

Perspectives
Since I have been in Haiti I have been stretched to realize that so much of what I see, could be seen so differently by people of different cultures, or who have had vastly different experiences.  The other day when I was riding in the car to a liturgy in a mountain village called Fondwa, we were stuck in traffic on the way there.  A large gasoline (tanker) truck was in the middle of the road turned over on its side, completely blocking the road, so that traffic could not pass in either direction.  I fear that the driver was at least seriously injured if he survived at all, based on the condition of the cab.  When I hear of gasoline leaking from a truck, my thought is of how dangerous this could be because it is flammable and the fumes are not good to breathe.  Many of the people living nearby most of whom were very poor had a different perspective.  People of all ages  were carrying buckets, plastic water bottles, and pitchers, and containers every shape and size, filling them them to the brim with gasoline.  I said to the other sister in the car, that all  of these people can't have cars, or generators.  She said they would probably sell it.  We and all of the vehchiles in front of us, ended up driving through a nearby field as it was the only way around the truck.  That same day in another location on the side of a large gas tank in English it said something like, "dangerous, contents are flammable, fumes can be harmful."  I thought to myself anyone in Haiti who is educated enough to read those English words probably already knows that gasoline is flammable and the people who are least likely to read it are probably least likely to be aware of this.  

Vow Ceremony
On the day I saw the tanker truck, I was accompanying another American sister, to the vow ceremony for a young congregation of Haitian sisters, the Franciscan  Sisters of St. Antoinne of Fondwa (I hope I got there name right.)  The American sister who works here at the hospital now, worked with the sisters there in a clinic prior to the earthquake.  Fondwa is a rural village in the mountains.  The liturgy was held in the temporary structure which stood on the foundation where the church was before it fell down in the quake. The current church was constructed of corrugated metal held together by beams of wood, which looked as though they had been used before, I wondered if the wood had been salvaged from the fallen church.  There were sturdy chairs which had been handmade somewhere in the countryside.  The decorations in the church were a couple of plants, some fake flowers and ribbons.  The decorations outside were mostly hand made paper chains.  There was profound beauty in the simplicity of it all.  The bishop of Portauprince presided at the liturgy.  Two sisters made final vows and two sisters made first vows; other than the two sisters who founded the congregation these were the first two sisters to make final vows.  There was such joy among the sisters, their families, and the people from the village.  After the mass, we were all invited to stay for a meal of delicious fresh Haitian food; the sister I was with said that the turkey was probably walking around earlier that morning.  As people were finishing their meals there was the distant sound of thunder.  Since many people from the village had walked, and even a couple came on horse or donkey, the party cleared out quickly as people attempted to get home before the heavy rains.              

Kay St. Anne and Kay St. Louie
This morning ten of the children moved from St. Anne to St. Louie.  They came to Sunday liturgy at St. Louie and were introduced to the other children after the mass ended.  Then the children went to their new rooms, which are the shipping containers that each house about 16 children and a worker.  I stayed around a short time afterwards.  I was glad to see the children who had just moved in playing well with the children at St. Louie.  Next week we expect to receive 15 new children at Kay St. Anne.  

Funerals, Activities. and a Wonderful Weekend

Funerals
Last weekend Fr. Rick returned to Haiti after some time in the states. Daily liturgy resumed here in the little chapel  by the pediatric hospital.  Apparently, someone had pointed out that we often had funerals for people that die in the cholera hospital and sometimes for people who did at the adult hospital but never for the children who die at St. Damien hospital.  At some point, while I was away children who die at St. Damien began to be included in the funerals. On Monday there were many bodies of small children.  During Fr. Rick's absence they had accumulated in the being held in a freezer now kept on the side of the chapel.  Usually the dead are not people I knew personally; it is sad in a general way.  Sometimes I wonder how many of those dead would have survived had they been born in the United States or Europe.

On Thursday night, I heard that the child who I had spent a week with in Florida last year had died.  The other volunteer who has spent time with him called me.  I walked to the front of the hospital to offer condolences to his grieving mother.  We hugged for a moment, I said little; some situations are simply too sad for words.  On Friday, the daily liturgy was like the funerals on the previous days that week in many ways, but it was more difficult and more meaningful because I knew and cared for one of thechildren whose body lay in a body bag on the chapel floor.
I had visited him in the hospital a few times since he was admitted.  His death was not expected to be imminent and there was even some talk of possibly sending him back to the states for surgery.  The last day I visited him was a couple of days before he died.  To my untrained eyes, he appeared to be getting better.  He was sitting in a chair by his bed, talking with me and shooing mosquitoes away.   His young heart failed him; in my heart I carry  memories of him.  Please pray for his mother and family.  

Activities
The government has changed the official start of the school year from early September to early October in order to make it possible to implement a plan so that when school does start more children in Haiti will be able to attend school for free.  When the summer camp for the children in the Father Wasson Angels of Light ended a couple of weeks ago, we were expecting school to be starting soon. I have been involved in the planning of more structured activities for the children at St. Anne during the month of September.  The new schedule starts tomorrow and I am looking forward to it.  

Weekend
The organization planned a weekend at the beach for all interested long term volunteers in Haiti.    The hotel where we stayed was lovely, and in a great location.  It was wonderful to spend time swimming,  playing in the water, reading, kayaking, hanging out with the other volunteers, and eating the delicious food at the hotel.  The hotel even had hot running water for showers!  Most of the time I am in Hait, I am not even aware of the reality that I am on an island; this weekend was a major exception.  I included a few pictures in an attempt to share the beauty of the Haiti seaside with you.  What a wonderful restful  weekend!

This morning, while still at the hotel, I was sitting by the pool reading.   A small  group of people including some police and UN people. exited the conference building and  walked by.  In the mist of the  group, wearing blue jeans and a dress shirt was President Martelly, the President of Haiti. Apparently there was some kind of a meeting taking place that had to do with the UN, at least that is what a  young woman who was sunbathing by the pool told me.  I was amazed at how little fanfare there seemed to be actually.    

I hope that you had a wonderful weekend, and for those in the US celebrating Labor Day; may you have a blessed and enjoyable day.