lanmè, Nòs, epi lot bagay

The Sea 

On Wednesday morning, instead of our usual community meeting all of the sisters and the lay woman who is volunteering with us went to the sea.  It only took about an hour to get there even though it was on the other side of a mountain.  Apparently one of the sisters knows the owner of this place by the sea and on weekdays, when it is typically not in use, the sisters are allowed to use it during the day.  It was quite beautiful, private and peaceful.  The water was the perfect temperature for swimming.  We all had a great time and we returned to the orphanage in plenty of time for our regular after school schedule with the children; which for me on Wednesday means five, half-hour long therapy groups with the youngest children followed by being available for a half of an hour to assist any of the older with English homework.

A Wedding

On Saturday a few of the sisters, the volunteer, an employee and a group of children attended the wedding of the son of one of the women who works at the orphanage.  The wedding was at a Baptist church, although it was not actually in the church itself.  Because the bride was visibly pregnant, the pastor of the church would not allow the ceremony to take place in the church.  Instead, all those in attendance crowded into a small, dark and very warm room which was across a narrow alley on the side of the spacious empty church.  I suppose the room would have been even darker if there had not been some small holes in the rusting metal roof.  It was simply decorated with a bouquet of fake flower and streamers which I suspect were created from thin toilet paper.  There was something about the simplicity and the small dark room that caused me to feel sad for a moment.  The ceremony started with some prayers in French, followed by songs sung in French and Creole.  The minister preached and did the actual marriage ceremony in Creole, because he said he wanted everyone to understand.  The bride and groom seemed young and nervous during certain parts of the ceremony, but lovely and sincere.  The bride wore a beautiful gown.  The mother of the groom, our co-worker who had invited us, and had seemed so excited about the wedding was not at the actual ceremony; I don't know why.  After the service ended, we piled back into the crowded van and drove a short distance.  In front of a nearby small home, we all exited the van. Our co-worker was there and she was so happy to see us, so glad that we had attended her son's wedding ceremony.  Everyone was handed a sand which wrapped in paper towel and something to drink.  The sandwich was a white hamburger bun,with a pink sauce that I think was made of ketchup, mayonnaise, and a few tiny pieces of hot-dog, green peppers and onions.  My drink was a grape soda.  Yes,(in case you are wondering) I ate and drank what I was given, appreciative of their generosity and graciousness.  Before most had finished their sandwiches, we loaded back into the van.  On the way home, one of the sisters asked the driver to stop at a vendor she seemed to know at the side of the road and purchased a few small Styrofoam containers filled small pieces of cooked horse meat which were passed around the van. I decided I had been adventurous enough in my eating for one day, and my stomach really was full from drinking all of the sweet grape soda and eating the entire sandwich, so I politely declined.

Other things

On Saturday evening, we had liturgy here at the a little chapel between the orphanage and the school (I'll post pictures of the chapel another time.)  Apparently this is something that we try to do a couple of times a month, but sometimes there is no priest available; it was my first liturgy in our chapel.  Since all of the children were attending, and a Holy Cross priest was coming to preside at the liturgy, I assumed that the liturgy would be in Haitian Creole.  I was looking forward to this especially since when we go to daily mass at the cathedral most of that mass is in French.  Except for the homily which ended with a French prayer and one short hymn, the mass for our children was entirely in French.

On Sunday evening, we celebrated the birthdays of all of the children born in October.  It was a wonderful celebration with dancing, singing and food.  It is always a gift to watch children enjoying themselves.  There should be a few pictures of the fet (party) posted on the Mary Gate of Heaven Orphanage facebook page, if you are interested.

I have been here over a month already. In many ways it seems to have gone so quickly, yet somehow it does seem like it has been a very long time since I was in the United States.  I hope you are well.  Take care.  

Kay nou, ak kay timou yo (Our house and the children's houses)

I decided to include a few pictures in this week's post.  Enjoy!

Here is a picture of the convent where I am living.  It is on the grounds of the orphanage.  

The bedrooms are on the sides and the large community room, dining room is straight ahead.  

One of the rooms that was probably designed as a bedroon has been converted into a small chapel.  

This is the house where the younger children live.  The second floor consists of three bedrooms and an open area.  Two of the bedrooms have bunk beds, the other one contains cribs where the youngest children sleep.

This is the house where the older children live.  Currently there is one room for boys and four for girls, since we have many more girls than boys at this time.  There are two bedrooms on the first floor and the others are upstairs. 

If you are on facebook, please visit, like, and follow the Mary Gate of Heaven Orphanage page.  Thanks!  Take care!

A famous singer came to visit the orphanage on Friday evening.  Her name is Melissa, and although I had never heard of her (of course that doesn't mean much as I am not always up on pop-culture) she is apparently quite famous in Quebec, Canada.  There is a possibility that she resided in this orphanage, many years ago when she was a baby, prior to being adopted in Canada.  (Our current program keeps children connected to whatever family they have; none are eligible for adoption.)  Melissa and a camera crew came on Friday afternoon.  The children welcomed her with song and she sang for and with them.  She was given a tour of the houses where the children live.  The children seemed to really enjoy her and she them.  It was a very exciting day here for all involved. She is indeed a very talented singer, which I can appreciate since I am not at all gifted in that realm.  In December her visit should air on television in Quebec.  

Yesterday I had some time just to be with the children when they were playing.  While pushing some of the youngest children on the swings yesterday, I experienced pure joy when they laughed.  There are moments that make any of the challenges I experience all worth while.  When the challenges do come, God always seems to provide just what I need.  On Saturday I was feeling a bit frustrated about a situation, nothing too serious but wishing that I could explain my perspective to someone in English, not to solve the problem but simply express what I was experiencing in the words that are easiest for me to use.  About two minutes after I had that thought, one of the older children came looking for me, saying that a sister was looking for me. The sister who made the journey with me from Portauprince to Cap Haitian, was here at the orphanage (she lives at the convent on the grounds of the high school) and being from western Canada, English is her primary language.  God provides!     

Today I was able to purchase a  klè, which translates to "key;" it is allowing me internet access, and I am glad to be able to connect.  Hopefully it will work always work as well as it seems to be doing right now.  It looks like a larger than usual thumb drive and for a monthly fee I should be able to access the internet anytime, anywhere in Haiti.   

I hope that you are all well.  Many Blessings! 

Today I started seeing some of the youngest children for play therapy.  The mothers of nearly all of the children here in this orphanage have died.  It seems that in addition to the loss of their mothers many have experienced various other losses and significant trauma.  I feel it is privilege to be able to journey with these children and pray that my presence, love, and skills will enable me to somehow be a healing presence for each of them.  Since I am doing clinical social work, and am very conscious of confidentiality, I will not post any pictures of the children on this blog, but trust me, if you were to see their smiles, and even at times their tears you could not help but love them. 

Over the weekend I was included in the region meeting for the Sisters of Holy Cross in Haiti.  Walking into the building when I arrived at the site of the meetings, there was large picture of Fr. Moreau, the founder Holy Cross.  Certainly the connections and charism common to the Holy Cross family has helped me to feel at home here.  I was happy to meet so many sisters and felt very welcomed and included in their meetings and conversations at table and during breaks.    

I brought my pocket Haitian Creole-English Dictionary to the meeting over the weekend so I could look up any unknown words.  The dictionary proved useless however, not because of my vastly improved knowledge of Creole, but because the meetings were held in French.  Fortunately, for me, there were two American sisters there, who were willing and very able to translate what was being said directly into English for me during the meetings.  When we broke off into groups on Saturday to share, for my sake, an English speaking group was formed.  On Sunday when we shared briefly in small groups, the sisters near me where willing to share in Creole instead of French which I appreciated, and an American sister was in the group to clarify anything I did not understand well.   I was very grateful for their willingness to accommodate me.

Internet connections have been challenging.  After many attempts sometimes I can get on for a few minutes.  I have not been able to fully access my Facebook page at all.  If you are expecting an email response and have not received one this is the reason. 

There are several other topics I had wanted to write about including: hearing about the death of the former president/dictator Papa Doc during the meetings,  learning to remove beans from pods, the funeral of the father of one of the workers, the houses that are being knocked down that we pass on our way to church, the American airlines flights that started coming into Cap Haitian, and getting a phone, but it is getting late and may take a while to get on line and paste this into the blog, so maybe I will say more about some of those later or just leave the details to your imagination.   Bon Nwit! 

On Wednesday, I arrived safely in Port-au-Prince.  Before making the trip to Cap Haitian, I had the privilege of visiting NPH, the program where I worked when I was in Haiti previously.  When I arrived at the new Kay Ste. Ann and the door was open for me, two boys, whose names and faces I knew well came walking towards me quickly and smiling.  I nearly cried with joy, because both of these children have disabilities and one of them could only take a couple of steps at a time independently when I left; the other was not walking at all (the first was the child who I accompanied when had was baptized, the other was the young boy who had been abandoned in the Cholera hospital see previous entries from May 8, 2011 and May 29th 2011.)  It was truly a joy to see the children.  How much they have grown in nearly three years!  It was important for me to see them in their new houses. I reconnected with friends there and met some new volunteers that evening.  The following morning, I attended mass at the little chapel by the Sr. Damien hospital.  The mass, as usual was a funeral, that day for two children.  I am grateful that I had the opportunity to visit there before, beginning my new ministry in Haiti. 

I spent one night in Port-au-Prince at the house that the Sisters of Holy Cross have there.  Early the following morning a Canadian Holy Cross sister who has been in Haiti for over 50 years, a driver and I left for Cap Haitian.  Most of the way, there was a pretty decent rode; sometimes we could see the ocean was on one side of us and mountains on the other.  The sister had some very interesting stories to tell from her many years in Haiti.    

When I arrived at the orphanage here in Cap Haitian the children and sisters were eating lunch.  I was shown to my room, which is quite lovely.  The house is quite nice; it is simple, but we always have electricity and running water.  There are currently three Haitian sisters, one French-Canadian sister, and Canadian lay woman who is volunteering here until the end of October, and now me in the convent which is on the grounds of the orphanage.  I am enjoying the sisters and getting to know them.  Language has been somewhat challenging at times as I am the only one in the house who speaks English fluently.  I have very much enjoyed meeting the children and look forward to working with them.  On Sunday evening we had a party for two of the children’s birthdays.  The children sang and danced and had special treats to eat.  It was quite enjoyable. 

I am glad to be here.  I have not been able to access the internet often or easily.  I wrote this in word so I  paste into the blog when on-line.  By tomorrow I should have a telephone.  I hope that you are well.  Take care!    

many possible entries condensed into one

As I write this entry, I really should be doing something else, like finishing packing, cleaning out the my desk drawer, organizing papers, writing the many thank you notes I want to send before I leave and 100 other tasks.

I have not even left for Haiti, and yet I feel like I have gotten behind on updating this blog.  In the previous entry I had expected to write about the transfer of vows liturgy and how grateful I was for all those who attended: my parents, my twin sister (who surprised me by coming),  a sister and good friend from my previous congregation, a friend who was a Redeemer Ministry Corps (lay volunteer) with me many years ago, members of the local Catholic Haitian community (who sang beautifully after communion), other religious,  friends, and of course many Marianites.  The priest who presided at the liturgy was born in Rhode Island, spent many years ministering in Haiti, and currently lives here in New Orleans.  I was filled with joy and gratitude, or as they say in Haitian Creole, "kè kontan," which translates to "happy heart."

Another topic I want to include was the graciousness with which my previous congregation has accepted and even supported my transfer.  For this I am extremely grateful and deeply touched!      

I also wanted to write about the prayer, and blessing, followed by ice cream cake and conversation that we had here with the sisters in both convents on the property where I have lived for nearly three years.  I will miss each of them and am grateful for their love and support.  Thanks for the beautiful, prayerful send off!

Last night, I attended the Haitian Creole mass here in New Orleans; at the end there was a travel blessing for me.  I could write a entire blog entry about how I began attended that liturgy occasionally to help me not forget the language when I first returned and then gradually in time found myself attending with greater regularity because the liturgies and music are so energizing; it really became my Sunday worship community.  Mesi anpil anpil anpil!      

I also thought about writing an entry about how Fr. Moreau, the founder of the Holy Cross congregations sent religious out  to the "foreign missions" from the very beginning, sometimes when they were very new in the congregation, and to far away places when travel was much more difficult.  It is a privilege to be called to live the charsim of Holy Cross; please pray for me, that I will do so to to the best of my ability.      

Well if I had really written longer more detailed entries about all of those things, I may have bored you, anyway.  I do not intend to update this blog again until I am on the other side of the Gulf of Mexico.  In the mean time, know that I am very grateful for the prayers and support of so many people. Take care!  Many Blessings!          

Transfer: the previously un-blogged details of my Haiti/ transfer story.

The other day I was wondering if I should include a blog update about my transfer from the Sisters of the Holy Redeemer to the Marinaites of Holy Cross, after all this blog is about Haiti. I barely finished the thought, when a realization followed.  My connections to Haiti and my discernment regarding transferring as well as the transfer process itself are very much interconnected.  There were parts of the story left out from this blog, in part because I needed some privacy and freedom to discern.

One of the main reasons for my restlessness in my previous congregation was my sense that I was being called to something else, to go where the needs are the greatest (that is not to say or infer that there are not great needs everywhere; there are.)  Very early in 2010, I was already well into discerning the possibility of transferring, to the point of having some initial conversations with the leadership teams of both congregations.  In one conversation I had with the provincial of the Sisters of the Holy Redeemer she wondered, how it would be for me to try staying a Sister of the Holy Redeemer and perhaps minister elsewhere for a time.  I said I would discern about that possibility and spent a weekend by the Jersey shore praying for guidance from the Holy Spirit.  I felt that God wanted me to try this, to see how it might be to remain a Sister of the Holy Redeemer while working in a ministry and place where sisters in that congregation generally have not served.

I met again with the provincial, one Sunday after mass and said that I did feel called to try this arrangement and not proceed with the transfer at that time, but stated that I could not promise that the call to transfer would go away, because I just did not know.  At that point, I was not necessarily thinking about leaving the country, but being open to whatever God wanted.  I thought I could go to Appalachia, rural Mississippi or might have even considered going across the (Delaware) river to live and serve in a poor section of Camden.  Prior to meeting with me, I don't think Anne Marie had given much thought as to where I would go.  It seems to me that she surprised herself when she said, something like, "If you want to go where the needs are the greatest, maybe you could go to Haiti?"  The earth quake had just happened  a couple of weeks earlier and at that moment I could not have thought of a place where the needs were any greater.  When the earth quake happened, I was in the process of  reading the book Mountains Beyond Mountains, by Tracey Kidder, which chronicles Paul Farmer's work in Haiti.  Going to Haiti made perfect sense; my only concern was whether or not I would be able to learn the language.    

When I was first in Haiti, I was focused on life in Haiti and gave little thought to transferring.  By the Spring time, as the province was preparing for chapter, the possibility that I might be called to transfer arose again.  I was realizing that discerning the possibility of transferring had already taken a lot of time and energy, so I promised myself I would make a decision during my retreat (in New Jersey) that summer and if the decision was not to transfer, I would with the grace of God really, finally let the idea go completely.  On the afternoon of the last day of retreat, I still had no clarity, but did at one point reach a sense of peace with the possibility of not making a decision just yet.  I remember thinking that I want God to hit me on the head with this and make it perfectly clear, and came to the conclusion that the perfect clarity I want from God, may never come.  Then that very evening, God did hit me on the head with it, and provide the perfect clarity I had just decided might not exist.  A Sister of the Holy Cross, who had been in a "small health care community" prior to "coming to Holy Cross" sat down next to me, and even though the meal was supposed to be in silence, having no idea that I had any connection to the Marinaites whatsoever, or that I was a member of a "small health care community" started a conversation with me.  Everything she said regarding her own experiences, spoke to and eased my own fears about transferring.  This was the clarity that I needed, at that point I knew I was called to start the transfer process.

It was also quite clear to me, that I would need to leave Haiti, sooner rather than later once I knew in my heart I would leave the Sisters of the Holy Redeemer and transfer to the Marianites of Holy Cross.  It was not that I wanted to leave Haiti at that point, I had expected to stay of two years and had only been there about a year.  An american sister, from another congregation, who I confided in while in Haiti, said to me "Haiti will always be here."  Maybe someday God would invite me back to Haiti.   (I did not even imagine that I would literally be returning to Haiti, 10 days after completing the transfer process.)  

  Several months ago when discussing my interest in ministering in collaboration with another Holy Cross congregation overseas it was stated that I would need to complete the three year transfer process before leaving on mission.

 So basically, because I was discerning the possibility of transferring, ministering in Haiti became a possibility.  The decision to transfer then became the main reason I left Haiti when I did.  Now that the transfer process is complete, I will be going to Haiti, Si Bon Dye vle.    

   

The Paradox of Preparation

I have been doing several activities to prepare for Haiti.  I have been reading books about play therapy and working cross culturally.   I have been reviewing and even trying to learn some new Creole vocabulary words as well as listening to and reading Haitian Creole.  I visited a travel health specialist and received a couple of vaccinations.  All that I do is likely to be helpful.  In some ways though based on my previous experience, nothing can fully prepare me for Haiti; I will face challenges which I will likely feel and will be utterly unprepared for.  God will give me the grace to do the best I can in whatever situations I encounter.  So the paradox is, preparation is extremely important even though nothing can truly prepare me.  In actuality, I will be both utterly unprepared and very well prepared at the same time.

August Update

The month of August has gone quickly and has been filled with many graces and blessings.  I spent time in New Jersey visiting the Marianites who live there.  That was followed by a wonderful eight day directed retreat at St. Mary By the Sea in Cape May Point.  I had the opportunity to visit with sisters from my previous congregation and connect with friends in the Philadelphia area.  Ten days were then spent in Rhode Island with family and friends there.  This year I was especially blessed that my twin sister and I were able to celebrate our birthday together.  This last weekend of the month was spent in prayer and community with several sisters in preparation for the transfer of my and another sister's vows into the Marianites of Holy Cross.  How grateful I am to have so many people in my life who are so supportive and whom I care about deeply and for all of the experiences I have had this month and in my life.

Prior to my first experience in Haiti, the song, Lord You Have Come resonated within my heart as I prepared for mission (see http://kmnhaiti.blogspot.com/2010/06/seek-other-shores.html.)  The first weekend I was in New Jersey when I attended a parish liturgy, the last day of retreat, the Sunday I attended liturgy at the provincilate of the Sisters of the Holy Redeemer, as well as the Sunday I attended mass at St. Veronica's in Narragansett, that song was sung (only once was there a possibility that the musician choose the song because I was there and she knew the significance.)  It is a song that continues to play in my heart as I am challenged once again to "seek other shores."
In less than a month I will be in Haiti.  The coming weeks will be for preparing to finalize the transfer of my religious vows, and preparing for Haiti.  I have much to look forward to, and much to be grateful for.     Thank you to everyone who is supportive of me in any way and Thanks be to God.  Mesi Bon Dye!  

Transitions and Changes

Once again, I find myself in the midst of major transitions.  Thursday will be my last day at Covenant House New Orleans.    I am grateful for the experiences I gained, the people I met, the opportunity to have worked at a place that has a mission which resonate with my own, and for all that I learned in my two years there.   As I have enjoyed my work there and will miss many residents and coworkers, it is sad to leave.  At the same time, I am really looking forward to visiting with my Marianite Sisters in New Jersey, going on retreat, visiting with my Holy Redeemer sisters and friends, and then spending time with my family.  This year for the first time in several, my twin sister and I will be celebrating our birthday together!  After vacation, I will return to New Orleans to prepare for the transfer of my vows in mid September.  In late September I will leave for Haiti.  I have so much to look forward to!      

I have made a few changes to this blog.  Often people ask me if I need anything for Haiti, so i decided to post a wish list.  These are not things that I really need, but rather items that I would like to obtain which will likely be useful when doing play therapy with the children at the orphanage in Haiti, and they can fit in a suitcase.  There is also now an easy way to sign up to receive this blog in your email when it is updated.  If you have any suggestions for how to improve this blog please let me know. Thank you!      

Many Blessings!