Beauty on Barbed Wire and Broken-Winged Butterfly

  It is especially strange to be here at the orphanage while the children are away. I miss them.  

While the grounds are quieter than normal and my schedule less full, and with no classes, appointments or group therapy sessions over the weekend, I have had some time to reflect, read, write, pray and of course wander the grounds with my camera in hand. 

The orphanage like many homes and business in Haiti is surrounded by tall cinder block walls topped with broken glass and barbed wire.  While ugly, they are practical, used to prevent people who might commit crimes from entering.  While taking pictures recently, I was especially struck by the contrast of the barbed wire, broken glass and tall cinder block walls, and the abundance of life that sometimes surrounds them.  I call these four photos: 

Beauty on Barbed Wire.         

     

 I enjoy the challenge of trying to snap a good bird or butterfly picture before it flies away.  While chasing butterflies in the currently childless orphanage playground I encoutnered this one .  While I took many pictures of butterflies that would by most conventional standards be considered more beautiful, this is the butterfly that spoke most strongly to me.  I was compelled to respond.  

Broken Winged Butterfly

The flutter of your injured wings whispers words of wisdom,

Both broken and beautiful

 Tattered and Talented

Easily labeled disabled and dysfunctional

yet, you are so capable  

you fly!  

Others appear perfect in thier seemingly effortless grace

though they've not a shadow of your strength,

(Or perhaps they're equally broken, hindered by hidden hurts

always unknown to the onlooker.)

Broken Winged Butterfly, 

When I saw your tattered wings

then watched you fly, 

my heart flew too.             

I am continuing to teach English this week.  Things are going well for me and hopefully for you too.  Many blessings!   

 

Summer English Class

A couple of the employees at the orphanage had asked that their children come to the English class which I had been teaching to the Holy Cross men`s novices and  a few others each Thursday morning.  They wanted their teenage children to miss school each Thursday and come to my class instead.  As a former teacher and someone who often had perfect or nearly perfect attendance when I was in school, I  was not at all comfortable with that idea.  I said I would try to offer a class when school was finished but before I left the country for vacation.  Each day this week and next I am teaching English to a five children of employees and a young adult who grew up at the orphanage.  I am enjoying it and they seem to be too.  More importantly hopefully, they are learning.

Since the postulants are on vacation and several sisters are leaving for chapter meetings in Canada, it was decided to temporarlily close the convent where I live.  This allows employees to have vacation time and saves energy.  Four of us who are not away are staying at the orphanage convent where I lived last year.  It is rather quiet on the orphanage grounds these days, since the children are away.

I was planning to include some pictures, but due to technical difficulties they are simply not uploading in a reasonable amount of time (and then some.)  I am satisfied that I finally figured out how to get the spell check to work in English.  My laptop is not working so, while this is one of my briefier and more boring  updates it actually required more effort than one with normally functioning techology, reliable electricty and decent internt connections would likely imagine.     

Have a great week!  Many blessings!    

Teacher Training, Funeral, and Farewells

The first time I was in Pilat, after struggling to explain in Creole the Flight, Fight and Freeze responses (to traumatic events,) I emailed the professor who taught me Creole in Miami in 2010.  While helping to provide me with the words I needed to educate parents about their children's response to violence, he also expressed an interest in the school in Pilat.  I simply asked the sister who directs the school if she would like me to put her in contact with him.  When she agreed I wrote a simple email introducing them to one another.

Last week Mr. Jacques Pierre, (who is now a lecturer at Duke University,) came to Pilat to provide training for the teachers at the sisters' school in Pilat. It was a privileged to accompany him to Pilat and to be of assistance during the week.  The education system here in Haiti is quite out-dated.  Most children are expected to learn through rote memorization in French.  Here is an article that was coincidentally published last week that explains the situation and the exact issues Jacques addressed during the seminar.  It was so timely that we shared the article with the teachers.      http://blogs.worldbank.org/education/why-school-enrollment-not-enough-look-inside-haiti-s-classrooms

The teachers appeared to be open to the ideas that were presented in the seminar.  Some of the topics included having the children work in groups, encouraging discussions in class, methods for teaching language, assigning projects, encouraging creativity and culture. Embracing teaching methods that are radically different from the traditional methods the teachers have been familiar with their entire lives will require a true transformation for many teachers.  The training gave me a sense of hope because even small steps towards changing how school is taught can potentially have major positive ramifications for the students, the country and ultimately (since we are all interdependent) the world.    

Although the school year had ended the week before, on Friday afternoon the preschool children came for an end of the school year celebration.  It was wonderful not only to see them, but to play and dance with them too.    

I did not see the lizard's head when I initially took this picture!    

An egret in the rain in Pilat  

Funeral
On Tuesday the funeral was held for the orphanage mother who died. The orphanage rented a school bus so that all of the workers, some former residents and all of the older children could attend.  The large church in the worker's  hometown was filled with people.  One of the oldest children and the sister who directs the orphanage spoke towards the end of the mass.  Since the mother had no biological children of her own, people commented that she was mother to so many children whose own mothers had died.  Following the liturgy we all walked in procession to the cemetery.  People wept and wailed as we walked.  It seems to me that funerals are a place where emotions are allowed to be released in this culture.  I felt as though I were surrounded by grief and emotional pain.  When we arrived at the cemetery a sister handed me one of the flower arrangements that had been on the roof of the Hurst that led the procession.  Following others who also had flowers I entered the cemetery.  Once the casket was placed into the cement tomb we handed the bouquets to men who placed them on top of the tomb.  The cemetery was somewhat unkempt; I actually believe that I saw a couple of human bones on the ground.  Following the burial we had a pleasant gathering at the orphanage for the children, workers, sisters, and former residents of the orphanage.  It was a wonderful tribute to the life of a hardworking and caring woman.

Farewell
Most of the children left for summer vacation yesterday.  As is often the case, the good-byes were bittersweet.  It was strangely quiet at the orphanage today. I already miss the children.

Many blessings!  

Turkeys, a Duckling and Nesting Egrets

On Mother's Day in Haiti, I distinctly remember wishing one of the manmans, (one of the women who works directly with the children at the orphanage) a Happy Mother's Day.  She smiled as I kissed her on the cheek as people do in this culture.  A group of turkeys that live in the orphanage yard came near.  I commented that they came to wish her "Bon fèt manman" too.  She then proceeded to tell me a story; something she had just witnessed.  She said that a chicken was starting to fight with one of the baby turkeys.  All of the other turkeys in the yard came to help the little turkey and the chicken ran off.  She commented about how animals (in this case turkeys) can work together but that people don't.

The following day was my last weekly meeting with the workers.  At the end of the meeting as a small gift for attending, I gave each a blank card with a different photograph on the front.  This particular mother received the card with this picture.

She was delighted!  She showed the other workers the duckling, and they playfully teased that they wanted her card, but she refused to trade.  When all of the other workers had walked away and I  was headed towards the therapy room doorway, smiling, she approached me, gave me a kiss on the cheek and thanked me.

Two days later, a worker came to me explaining that this particular mother was sick. The other sisters were in a meeting and the employees did not want to disturb them.  I immediately went to see the sick worker.  She was sitting on the side of a bed, sweating profusely and she looked like she was dizzy.  I spoke with her briefly.  When I inquired as to whether or not she was in pain she pointed to her chest and her back.  Quickly I ran to inform the sisters that I think this mother needs to go to the hospital.  They went to see her and called the orphanage driver to transport her to the hospital.  I took the two children who were too young to be at school but were not napping at that time to the swing set so that they would not witness people helping the ill worker down the stairs, out of the house and into the truck.

The following day we were told that she was still at the hospital but that she was getting better.  On Friday during the noon time meal, there was no new news when I asked the sisters about her status.  She died late Friday night.

Please keep her family, the children and all of the workers in your prayers at this time.


Next week I will write about my current (and so far very good) experience in Pilat.

Here are some pictures of egrets nesting in the large tree in the middle of the school yard in Pilat.  I am amazed at the number of nests in a single tree (I can't seem to get a picture that accurately portrays this.)  

This week I have again been reminded of the fragility of life and not to take the presence of another for granted.  I am grateful for my communities (current and former) family, and friends.  Thank you for reading my blog; this week writing it was therapeutic for me.    Take care.  Many blessings!

A Trip to the Bank and General Updates

Bank  

Today the line at the bank was quite long.   There had been a lot of traffic getting into the city and the convent driver who was waiting for me had to pick up another sister in less than an hour after our arrival.  I decided to wait in line and get a sense of how quickly it was moving.  It was not moving very quickly, but I figured I would wait a while and if it seemed it would take too long, I would get out of line and try again in a few weeks; I only decided to change some American money into gourdes today because eventually I will need to and the driver was available and it is Tuesday (my day off.)  A uniformed security guard carrying a very large gun got my attention and pointed me towards a very short line.  I pointed to the end of that line and asked if he wanted me to go to that line; he nodded in agreement and automatically I obeyed his gesture and went in the short line.  While I don't really read French, I am almost certain the sign indicated that the short line was for, pregnant women, elderly people, and people with physical disabilities.  I don't fit into any of those categories, nor do I think I appear to.  I felt quite ambivalent.  On one hand, I was relieved that I would have time to change my money before the driver had to retrieve another sister, I also felt quite uncomfortable, and embarrassed.  

Why had I been directed to the shorter line?  Perhaps the security guard saw that the driver was waiting in the hot pick-up truck as the sun was beating down upon it and had compassion for him, but I sincerely doubt that was his reason, even if that was how at the moment in my own mind I justified obeying the guard.  Perhaps from the Marianite crucifix around my neck, he knew that I am a religious and did not think that "sister" should need to wait in the long line like all of the people who are not members of religious congregations .  While there are situations in which religious are given preferential treatment, (which I find quite annoying) I am skeptical that this was the probable cause, in part because I was wearing capris, not even a skirt or dress and certainly nothing resembling a traditional habit.   

Perhaps the security guard was just being kind to an obvious foreigner, and most certainly he meant well, but it did not seem fair to all those who were waiting, who had arrived before me.  Ideally, I should have refused, saying that I could wait in the long line like all of the other people who are neither pregnant, elderly nor physically disabled.  While I don't really know the security guard's motivation, during the few minutes, I stood in the short line, the words "white privilege" bubbled up from my gut to my head. Even here in a country, where there are few white people, there are times when I believe I am treated better than most native people by other native people simply because of the color of my skin.

I considered writing about this, but felt a bit uncomfortable so I decided not to, then a short time later while trying to catch up on the news today, I read the following article and http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2016/05/31/479733094/the-code-switch-podcast-episode-1-can-we-talk-about-whiteness  concluded that maybe the Holy Spirit was prompting me to write about my experience in the bank, and to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that the color of my skin does come with privileges both in Haiti and in the US and in many, perhaps even most places.  Certainly I have not earned this nor is it deserved, nor am I proud that I stayed in the short line.          

I have probably only gone to the bank on three or four occasions to exchange money during the many months that I have lived in Okap, and each of those times, I have received more gourd per dollar than the previous time.   In a sense, this too would seem to benefit me personally, after all, it still only costs five gourds to take the tap-tap from downtown to the intersection closest to the convent and orphanage. In reality, though, this saddens me, because the currency's declining value is a sure sign of Haiti's current economic problems and  it is very bad for the people, no doubt especially for those who have the least to begin with and many prices have risen as a result.

So thanks to a trip to the bank, I am grappling with the reality of my privilege and that being white and an American comes with undeserved benefits.  I believe that what seems to benefit me personally if unjust towards another, if it is not really in the best interest of the common good, then ultimately it does not benefit me, because we, all people, and all of creation, are in this together.  Hopefully, with God's help, I will do my best to use my advantages to benefit those who are least privileged and to find ways to advocate for justice and equality.  Will I have the courage to defy the security guard and the next time I am in the bank should I be faced with the same scenario?    

General Updates

The Sisters of Holy Cross had a regional meeting this weekend.  On Saturday evening after work, I attended mass with them and visited during their evening meal.  It is always good to connect and catch up with sisters I don't see often.
 
 Sunday was  Mother's Day here in Haiti.  There was a short gathering in which the children sang, danced and told jokes, to honor the "mothers" who do most of the direct work with the children at the orphanage.  They are caring hard working women; hopefully, they know that they are appreciated.  A few children came up to me that day, kissed my cheek and wished me, "bon fèt manman!"  I was very touched.  The day was also a difficult one for some of the children who were reminded that their own mothers have died.  

Things are winding down as the school year will be coming to an end next week.  On Sunday I did my last group sessions with the older children and yesterday was my last weekly meeting with the caregivers of the children.  Next week, I am heading back to Pilat and early the following week the children will leave to spend summer with relatives.  

I hope that you are all well.  Thanks for taking time to read this.
Have a good week.  Many blessings!


              

Crossing the River

The remainder of the week in Pilat went well.  On Wednesday morning, there was a special mass which many school children attended for Fèt Drapo (Flag Day.)  I spent much of that afternoon working with a dedicated group of ninth graders who came to school on their day off to prepare for exams; I was assisting with English (the only subject I am qualified to help with especially considering their exams are in French.)  On Thursday and Friday after school, we continued the work.

It was enjoyable to spend time with the preschool children and their teachers.  I did some short psycho-educational lessons, talked with the teachers, read to the children and organized some play time.  Most had never used playdough before and they seemed to enjoy it.

The river 

Late on Friday afternoon, I accompanied a Haitian sister to visit a family.  We had to cross a river to get to the family's home; we were on foot and there was no bridge.  Hand in hand we waded through the rocky shallow river .  When we arrived at the other side of the river, we put our shoes back on and walked up a mountain until we arrived at the simple home of a large family.  They were happy to see the sister and welcomed me, even though I was a stranger.  An American sister who is not currently in Haiti had assisted them with obtaining funds to build their house, so it seemed their gratitude may have extended to me although I had nothing to do with it, or maybe they warmly welcome all people. They invited us in and asked me specifically to pray, to bless the house.  Though surprised that they wanted me to pray, I was deeply touched by their faith and how openly they expressed it.  So I prayed with them and for them and they seemed satisfied with my spontaneous Creole prayer.  They showed us their garden; that is how they sustain themselves.  They wanted to give me the plantains that were growing on a tree behind their home, but the sister convinced them that they were not ready to be picked.  They gave her some fresh corn; we waited while the father of the family went to harvest it for us. The sister did not take all that they offered us, perhaps aware that they needed it more than we did but not wanting to insult them by refusing the gift.  Grateful for having met such kind, generous and faithful people, we headed back down the mountain and across the river.

The plantains 

On Saturday morning, I returned to Okap, and went to the orphanage that afternoon, happy to see the children there.

Have a good week.  Take care.  Many blessings!        

Partying in Pilat

The first time I came to Pilat, I described the road leading to the town as being like a dry rocky river bed.  When I made the journey on Sunday afternoon, the road was not dry. The driver and I were grateful that the rain was light so that we were able to pass without difficulty.  If the rivers we need to cross to get here are too swollen vehicles can not pass; a few weeks ago some sisters who had planned to come to Pilat for the funeral of a sister’s mother, had to turn back.

During my previous visit in March, I had told the professors and the sister who is the director of the school that I would try to come back before school ended to follow up with the preschool children and their teachers (links to previous Pilate entires  March 19, 2016  and Pictures Pilat previous visit.)  When this week was chosen, I had not realized that there would be so many other things going on; had I known I might have chosen a different week, so that I would could have had more time with the children, but feel that I am supposed to be here at this moment, although I am not sure and may never know the exact reason.    

It was wonderful to see the children yesterday.  Their smiles alone make the trip worthwhile.  They remembered me and of course, even more so they remembered Ti tòti, the turtle puppet I use for pyscho-educational lessons with preschool age children.  

I am grateful that I was here to celebrate the birthday of the sister who directs the school.  Yesterday morning the entire school surprised her with a party that included song, dance, and popcorn.  The teachers had a party for her during the children’s recess time too.  The cake was delicious!   The Holy Cross sisters who work at the hospital in Pilat and the Holy Cross priests who work in the parish came here to the school convent yesterday evening; we had mass followed by another enjoyable birthday party.

     

Today is teacher appreciation day here in Haiti.  The children did not come to school because we had a party for the teachers that lasted all day.  The teachers here work very hard and I was happy to see them enjoying themselves. It was nice to begin to get acquainted with them; during my previous visit I really only had contact with the preschool professors.  Some of the older students came to help us with the party; they prepared a prayer this morning and served the noon time meal. Following the prayer, a couple of teachers shared about their experiences working at the school.  I set up and helped to serve the snacks this morning, coordinated musical chairs, and helped with various aspects of the party. I was actually quite busy and am grateful that I was able to be of assistance and hopefully help the teachers know that they are appreciated.     

           

Tomorrow is Fèt Drapo, Flag Day, here in Haiti.  Yes, another fèt!  In life, there is always something to celebrate.  The school is closed, but several older students will come in the afternoon and I will help them prepare for an English exam.  I’ll have Thursday and Friday to work with the preschool children and their teachers, Si Dye vle (If God wants!)  

  

Even if you have not attended as many parties as I have recently, I do hope that you are finding reasons to celebrate.  Many blessings!  

Selebrasyon! (Celebrations!)

On Sunday three of the children at the orphanage and many of their classmates received First Holy Communion.  The liturgy took place inside the spacious auditorium at the school.  There were plenty of seats; I had expected it to be crowded.  The children wore their school uniforms, plus gloves and for the girls white headbands with ribbons and for the boys vests that match their uniforms.  Some school girls wearing simple white robes and holding blue flowers did liturgical dances during parts of the joyous liturgy.   Following the mass, we had a great party at the orphanage.  Children sang and danced.  We ate lots delicious food and cake.

The celebration continued with a ribbon cutting ceremony for a new building on the grounds of the orphanage.  It is a newly constructed activity room where all of the younger children can play; it will be very useful especially on rainy days.  A couple from Canada came to represent the foundation that funded the project.  They along with the Sister of Holy Cross who oversaw the construction cut the ribbon before all of the children entered the room.  It was there that the gifts were distributed to children with recent birthdays and first communicants.      

  I was grateful for a decent Skype connection Sunday night so that I was able to talk with my mom.  Certainly working with children whose mothers or dead or in a few cases are unable to care for them increases my deep appreciation for my mom. I hope all Moms had a great Mother's Day!    

Many Blessings!     

 

Mango

This time of year we have an abundance of mangoes.  Every day now, many mangoes fall from our trees into the yards both where I live and at the orphanage.

During the three years that I was in the United States after my first experience in Haiti, I would occasionally purchase a mango, remembering how much I had enjoyed them in Haiti.  Since there were not an abundance of them, and typically they are relatively  expensive in the US, it was a special treat, although they were not as fresh and flavorful as the ones that grow here.  I would often offer pieces to the sisters I lived with wanting to share the experience.  Especially if nobody else was interested I would eat a small portion at a time keeping it refrigerated so that a single mango might last  three days.  Remembering that makes me smile since now it is common for me to eat three whole mangoes by myself in a single day, although not necessarily in a single sitting unless of course they are a small variety.

The children at the orphanage enjoy eating mangoes too.  When one falls to the ground children race to retrieve it. They have various methods of getting the high mangoes to fall so that they can eat them.  Sometimes they throw stones at the mangoes.  On occasion a thrown stone has missed the mango and landed loudly on the metal roof of the playroom, creating quite a noise and a distraction especially if I am in the midst of a session.I believe that I experience some unique challenges that most clinical social workers/play therapists in the US don't typically encounter.  (Another example of such a unique challenge was a live tarantula recently hiding in a box of puppets.)

Thank God for beautiful trees and delicious fresh fruit!  If you were here I'd gladly share a mango with you, or actually I'd give your own, maybe even several of your own. Bon Appetit!

  

Jakmel

At noon on Friday all of the sisters currently residing at Leocaide Convent, the postulants, including the postulant who is currently living and working at a different location, and our driver loaded the convent mini bus and headed to Port-au-Prince.  I found the drive to be enjoyable, we passed through mountains, through busy town centers, and at times got beautiful glimpses of the sea.  It took us six and a half hours to reach the Holy Cross convent in the capital where we were warmly welcomed with wonderful Holy Cross hospitality.  

Early the next morning, we set out for the city of Jakmel which is in the South of Haiti.  When we passed through the village of Fondwa I happily announced that I had been there before ( in  Sept 2011  and April 2011. ) Our first stop in Jakmel was the promenade by the beach.  The walkway along the beach is relatively new and I was quite impressed with the view as well as the mosaics and other art forms that adorn the path.  The pictures do not capture the true beauty.    I was grateful to walk the beach for a few minutes with my feet in the ocean.        

We spent a lot of time driving through Jakmel and some neighboring towns along the coast enjoying the scenery until we reached a river at which point we decided to turn around and head back towards Jakmel.  Early in the afternoon, we stopped at a convent and asked a sister who lives there, if we could eat our lunch in their yard.  The sister was very gracious and allowed us to sit on their porch, use their tables and chairs and showed us to the restroom.   

After lunch, we visited a rural area outside of Jakmel, where several years ago for a few years Sisters of Holy Cross lived and worked with and among the people.  One of the sisters I live with had lived there and she spoke fondly of her memories.  People  were so happy to see her and they asked for sisters by name who had lived there many years ago.  We saw the house, which was next to a chapel, which was beside an even smaller and older chapel.  When the sisters were there they provide for the spiritual needs of the people as the closest parish church is a distance and a priest would come only periodically.  There were people in the chapel joyfully singing Haitian hymns while we were there.            

Later that afternoon, in Jakmel we met a priest, who is the brother of a Holy Cross sister.  He showed us the inside of the cathedral which has not been operating since the 2010 earthquake when it was significantly damaged.  After that,  he was happy to show us a brand new church on the outskirts of the city.  The new parish church is very modern and looks to me like it could be in any US suburb; he did not have the church key with him but we peeked in through a window.     

We returned to Port-au-Prince that evening.  The next morning after attending Sunday liturgy and eating breakfast we made the journey back to Cap-Haitian.  We stopped  a couple of times along the way, once to greet the family of one of the postulants as we passed through her hometown.  We arrived, grateful for our adventure, for the experience and for the gift of community.    

Orphanage Update

Last week we welcomed a new baby boy to the orphanage.  We had said that we were full and the sister in charge had no intention of accepting any new children before the start of the new school year in September, but upon hearing the story and reflecting upon his situation, he was welcomed.  Everyone already loves the little guy.


Many blessings!