From Mission to Mission and Legacy of Love

From Mission to Mission: 

One of the most challenging aspects of any mission experience in another country for many people is "re-entry."  It is sometimes overlooked or misunderstood.  After spending time overseas, we come back changed, and often to find that the places and people we left have changed as well.  What is assumed to be a homecoming is often actually disorienting and difficult at least for a while.  When missioned in another country and culture we are not ever really fully at home there (we are always foreigners,) and when we return we typically don't feel fully at home either.  

Since my last update, I was fortunate to spend several days in San Antonio participating in a From Mission to Mission re-entry workshop.  It was a gift to meet and connect with others who have returned to the US after mission experiences in various places.  I am grateful that I was able to hear their stories and to be understood well when telling my own.  The workshop topics, prayer experiences, planned and spontaneous discussions were all very relevant and helpful.  I recommend anyone returning "home" after a ministry experience in another country consider participating in From Mission to Mission or another similar re-entry program (if one exists.)         

At one point in the workshop, we were asked to reflect upon our personal legacy.  For me, if we live and love well, legacy will happen naturally.  During our time for reflection on our personal legacies, I wrote the following:  

Legacy of Love

Let love be my legacy,

even if my name and face be long forgotten,

May my love live like little seeds of compassion

planted in the hearts of children.

Or like the drops of rain that nourish the seeds

and seem then to disappear

but leave the plant healthier because the raindrop once was there.

Or like a bit of fertile compost

feeding the seedling. 

Even if my name and face be long forgotten

may love be my legacy.   




The pictures included here were taken in San Antonio.  

May each of you experience many blessings during this season of Lent.  Take care.  

Trust in Transformation

A few days ago, I noticed many Monarch caterpillars clinging to Milkweed leaves on a cold (for Louisiana) and very windy day here in Metairie.

  The first picture is one I took the other day and the other I took last summer in New Orleans. 

Obviously, I added the words, probably for my own sake.  Currently, I am in an in-between time of uncertainty and transition.  Hopefully, this time will help me to grow and transform at least a little more fully into my true self, the person I was created to be. 

Since we all probably need this reminder from time to time, I am posting the photos here so that they can be shared. 

Many blessings as you hang in there and trust in transformation! 

Trees on Retreat

Yesterday I finished eight days of silent directed retreat.  In a sense it was very much needed, and yet I realize how very fortunate and privileged I am to be able to take this time.  I am grateful. 

This was the first time that I made retreat in the middle of winter, and I did so in New England.  To think early last month I was in a place where if the temperature dropped below 70 degrees Fahrenheit, it was considered cold.  On retreat this past week, when occasionally the temperature reached just above freezing I was thankful for the warm weather.   How quickly perspectives can dramatically shift with a change in environment! 

Trees caught my attention, especially the deciduous trees, which seemed so dead though, in reality, they are just dormant.  Such a contrast to the Mango and coconut trees I left behind in Haiti!  It somehow seemed to make sense that I was on retreat in winter, for I needed a moment of stillness, to be dormant like the trees and allow the Spirit to work silently in me. 

In some ways, though I realized that parts of myself that had been dormant began to awaken during retreat.  During my time in Grand Goave, I had not written poetry and took pictures only rarely. Writing even simple blog entries had become a chore so much so that when I returned I did not intend to continue writing regularly. During retreat, poems started writing themselves in my head as I walked along nature trails at a nearby park. A part of myself came back to life bringing with it the courage and hope necessary to begin again. 

For the second time, since I wrote what I thought might be my final Haiti blog entry, I  am writing again because I feel inspired to do so.  I want to share with you, anyone who is actually interested enough to read this, a poem and a photo of the image that inspired it. 


   

In a seeming mid-life moment, 

so unexpectedly the tall tree was chopped down, 

fallen, 

feeling and fearing failure.    

But, hope hides in the hollow of dead decaying stumps, 

and grief and growth go together, 

Wisdom winks and whispers 

of perpetual paschal patterns. 

What was will nourish all that will be. 

There upon the dead decaying stump, 

a new tree of another species grows, 

the roots of the two intertwine underneath

the former's fading, feeding the flourishing sapling.  

Peace and blessings to you!   

Rest-Stop Reflection

Reflection
On my way to visit my great aunt in New Jersey, I stopped at a rest stop.  After purchasing something to eat for lunch, I sat down.  At a nearby table, there was a woman wearing the uniform of one of the fast-food restaurants present at that rest-stop.  The woman was eating her lunch.  Another woman came by and spoke with her briefly before continuing on to do her work. They spoke to each other in Haitian Creole.   Since we were at very close by tables, both of us eating alone, I decided to start a conversation.  I started the conversation by sharing my observation in Haitian Creole that she speaks Haitian Creole.

We chatted about soup joumou, mangoes, and other Haitian foods.  Then, she talked about how life is difficult in the United States.  She has a couple of children and no other family here.  She misses her country and her family a lot.

In Haiti the majority of people are not able to find what would be considered stable employment.  Even with a hard to come by regular job, she would most likely be making considerably less money in a day than she is probably making an hour at the fast-food restaurant.  Still, raising children in the US, especially in a part of the country where the cost of living is high, must be a struggle.  She is doing so without the emotional and social support of extended family that she likely had in Haiti.  I felt a wave of empathy for her and realizing how for her both staying in Haiti and coming to the US, would so very difficult and in a much deeper way than I can honestly say I have experienced because so much of her energy probably goes into meeting basic needs, simply surviving. 

Immigration is a major topic on the news in this country these days since there is so much disagreement over funding of a wall to keep people who don't have the proper paperwork from entering the United States.  Currently, the federal government is partially shut down because of this.  While reflecting upon the conversation I had with the worker at the rest-stop, what I have witnessed in Haiti and the current political discourse in the United States, I concluded that at least from my perspective the whole immigration conversation and efforts are misguided.

Certainly, I don't know how to solve the world's complicated problems myself, but I was thinking, what if all of the money that could go into a wall, or other forms of "border security," would instead be used to seek creative solutions to eradicating poverty and work towards eliminating the conditions that drive people to leave their beloved families and homelands?   Immigration is not the problem;  "illegal immigration" is a symptom and response to systemic problems and extreme injustice. I am not saying that reallocating the much-debated potential "wall" money would fully solve any problem, just considering that it may be more effective; I am convinced that it would at least no less effective than a wall and much more humane.  Please understand, I am not suggesting that the money be allocated as charity, which can alleviate some short-term suffering but typically does nothing to change the system and too often reinforces unjust power differentials.  Let's get to the root of real problems instead of paranoid self-protection and obsessive exclusion.  The goal of any immigration policy would not be to exclude people who would choose to come to the United States, but to make it possible for those who would prefer to live in their homeland to do so and have access to employment that pays wages that allow them to do more than barely survive, access to  quality education for their children, and basic protections of civil rights and safety.

Let's listen to the stories and try to understand the realities of immigrants who have come to the US and those who desire to leave their countries because of the conditions they experience.  Let us not forget the stories of people in our own families (like my great aunt who I am visiting) who immigrated and the challenges they faced.  Let us build relationships instead of walls.     
 
Update
Last time I updated the blog, I was not sure if or when I would write again but felt inspired to share my reflection.  Thanks for taking the time to read it.  So many people who read my previous blog responded with support and compassion; thank you!

Despite

Despite the initial job posting which seemed to indicate that the organization was looking for someone with my exact education, skill set, and experience,
Despite my doing my homework about the organization, which included reading a book written by the couple who started the organization, asking questions, and  visiting before accepting the position,
Despite my taking time to prayerfully discern before even beginning the application process,
Despite my desire and all of my hard work,
the position of Program Administrator at  Brit's Home in Grand Goave simply did not work out as I had hoped and expected.

Two weeks ago, I returned to the United States. 

It was, difficult to say goodbye to children and employees who I had grown to love in the few months that I was there.  All of the children lined up to say goodbye to me the night before I left. We ate cake and danced.  There were lots of hugs and tears. 

After four school years in Cap-Haitian and nearly four months in Grand Goave, it was difficult to leave Haiti without a whole lot of time to prepare and especially not knowing if or when I will return.  Haiti has become a home to me; it has changed me, and mostly for the better.  Despite all of the challenges and problems in Haiti, there is something beautiful and wonderful about the country, the culture, and the people. Already, I miss it. 
 
Being stateside has advantages too.  It was a gift to be with my grandmother as we celebrated her 90th birthday and to celebrate Christmas with family. 

During my time in Haiti, my religious congregations, family, and friends have been very supportive of me and my work in many different ways.  I am grateful!  Thank you!  I know too that I as I again go through this processes of "re-entry," experience "reverse culture shock" and discern and transition into my next step (wherever and whatever it will be) that there are people in my life who will continue to be patient and supportive, and I am very appreciative. 

I know too that I will carry with me all that Haiti has taught me, and try to use those lessons and all my gifts in ways that benefit others, as I attempt to do my small part towards creating a more just, loving and peaceful world. 

Thank you, for taking the time to read my blog, my Haiti story.  Mèsi anpil! 

May you experience many blessings, peace, and joy during the new year! 

 

     

Embassy Emails, Table Quiz, Thanksgiving, Garden Grown

Embassy Emails
Today I received seven emails from the US embassy in Haiti; I received the same number yesterday and at least a few each day this week.  On Sunday I only received two, which is interesting since that was the day the protesting began.  The emails have not said anything specific about Grand Goave, not even the emails with lists of multiple places experiencing protests of one kind or another (burning tires, barricaded roads, gunshots)  One of the schools the children here attend has been closed all week probably because of its close proximity to the main road; the other school has been open all week as has our own BLB Academy.  Fortunately for us, things have been relatively quiet in Grand Goave although the little town has not been completely immune.   A little girl came directly to my office after school yesterday to tell me that she saw a burning tire in the street that morning.  While we have not had the violence or extreme situations of some larger cities and towns,  there have been some difficulties.  An important staff person who spent her weekend off in the capital, only returned to Grand Goave today, and that was not easy.  Twice this week I planned to visit an orphanage in a nearby town; both times we postponed the visit out of an abundance of caution because of the possibility of protests between here and there.  Hopefully, the situation will be resolved soon, as peacefully as possible and in a way that is truly just for all the people of Haiti. 
     Here is a link to a news article about the situation, in case you are interested.


Table Quiz
Today my cousins in Ireland, held a fundraiser for Be Like Brit, the organization I am working for.  They held a quiz night at a pub and raised 2,100 Euros for our educational programs.  Based on the pictures that they sent to me, it seems they had a good time in the process.  Thanks to everyone who was involved!  I appreciate you.

Thanksgiving
I hope that all of my family, community members and friends in the US, who celebrated Thanksgiving today had a great Thanksgiving.  While I did not celebrate today in any traditional way, I certainly have a lot to be thankful for everyday!   

Garden Grown 
Fresh fruits and vegetables are one of the many wonderful things that I am grateful for in Haiti.  Here are a few that grow in the garden right in our yard. 

Congo Beans

Papaya

Pomegranate

Cabbage

Okra

 
Thank you for taking the time to read my update.  Many blessings! 

  

How to Self-Care Here?

A few weeks ago I was invited to write my story for the Be Like Brit blog.  For most people who read my personal blog regularly there is no new information in the BLB blog post, but here is the link in case you are interested. 

BLB blog post 

As I sat down to write this, I heard a knock on my office door; my office is adjacent to my bedroom and connected by an internal door.  I debated for a second if I should answer it since today is my day off.  I could not see who was there and because the children have singing practice there is no way I could have asked through the door who is there and what the person wants and be heard or hear the response over the boisterous voices.  As I opened the door, I greeted the child and asked if it is an emergency, politely explaining that it is my day off.  Because of the volume of the music, it was hard for me to hear what the child was saying.  The child said, "yes," and then explains that he is having difficulty descending the Haitian flag that hangs in the courtyard and wants me to go on the roof to fix the problem.  I have done that before, but not on my day off  (it is a flat roof, and there is a perfectly safe staircase to get to it; just in case you are imagining otherwise.)  I suggested he ask the night supervisor to help with that and so I continue writing.  

 

In general, it is very convenient living where I work.  There is no commute time to account for; I never get caught in traffic.  The accommodations are wonderful here in many ways.  We even have electricity 24 hours a day and the tap water is treated and perfectly drinkable; it is rare for any home to have both of those things all of the time in Haiti.  My delicious meals are provided by very thoughtful kind kitchen staff, who even daily cut mangoes and melons for me, without my asking (actually, I would never ask or expect anyone to do that for me, but I appreciate because I don't get mango juice all over my clothes anymore.)  Even my laundry is done for me here, and it comes back the very same day!  (If I had to cut my own mangoes it probably wouldn't because it takes time to scrub out mango juice.)  The grounds here are quite safe; there are always multiple security guards working.  I am very grateful for all of this.  There is just one challenge that comes with it.      

At the last job I had in the states before I came back to Haiti, I was on the staff training committee and I did the training on self-care for my co-workers.  Self-care is something social workers and other helping/healing professionals need to be mindful of and are trained to consider, in order to do our best work and prevent burn-out.  I am finding that some of the strategies that I have come to rely on to prevent burn-out are more challenging to implement here.  How can I leave my work at work, when I don't leave work?  While I generally avoid working on my day off, I can't leave my bedroom without being at work; automatically boundaries are blurred and separation scarce.  My minuscule social life outside of work, is completely dependent on (sometimes very unstable) internet connections.  I have gotten accustomed to working six days a week, as that has been my norm during most of my time in Haiti.  Now, I feel like there is a bit of a learning curve for me when it comes to living and working in the same building, trying to do my best work and be available to the program staff and children, while meeting the expectations of those responsible, and doing so in a way that will be sustainable and healthy for me and everyone involved for the long run.            

It is not that I am not attempting to practice self-care.  I have been making sure I exercise which for me is essential to coping with stress and increasing my chances of sleeping well.  I am taking time for centering prayer, a form of silent meditation; sometimes during a 20 minute prayer period needing to discern multiple times if I should stop to answer a knock on my office door.  When the internet signal was consistently strong enough, I was doing very short yoga videos early in the morning and before bed regularly.  When I have a day off, I usually leave the building and head to the beach; for me to be at my best time spent in nature is a necessity and that is something that is available all year round in Haiti (yes, there are clearly some self-care advantages to being here.)  Despite these strategies, at least at the moment, I feel like I am struggling slightly to do self-care well here.       

  Thanks for letting me ramble a bit; I feel better already. Writing this has been a helpful self-care strategy over the years.  Sorry no pictures, this week; come to think of it, getting my camera out would probably help, too.  If anyone reading this wants to share strategies for self-care that have worked for you in for situations like mine please leave a comment below.  Thank you for taking the time to read this.    

No matter where you are and what you are doing be sure to take care of yourself.    Many blessings!  

          

               

A Brief Update and a Video

Sometimes I am surprised at how faithful I was to writing weekly blog updates during my first and second experiences in Haiti.  The objective has always been to keep my religious community, family, friends, and anyone else who was interested informed about what is going on here.  It was a way of keeping in touch.   Writing them has sometimes been a therapeutic activity for me, helping me to make sense of my experiences here in Haiti.  It is something that I have often enjoyed doing. 

Here I am two months into my third experience in Haiti and I have not been writing consistently every week.  In general, things have been going well.  I am enjoying the children and staff and find the work rewarding and appropriately challenging.  In some ways, I am still getting used to how things work here and have yet to put writing my blog into my weekly routine as I did when I was in Cap-Haitian and in Tabarre eight years ago.  There is always plenty to write about, and I have every intention of getting back on track.  For this week I will simply share with you a beautiful YouTube video that the organization I am working for created for a fundraiser they held in the states over the weekend.    Enjoy!

Have a good week!  Many blessings!

Shaking

Last Saturday night, (exactly one week ago) I sat down to watch a documentary about Irish history. I had downloaded it onto my cell phone from a Lousiaiana library.  I had the sound playing through a blue tooth speaker.   My phone was on the small metal table in my room.  I sat on a metal folding chair.  On the other side of my bedroom door, the children were playing.    At some point, something weird happened.  I felt like the room moved.  I thought to myself, "was that an earthquake?"  There was no discernable difference in the sounds coming from the other side of the door, and surely if it were an earthquake I assumed there would have been a change in sounds coming from the children. I came up with what seemed like logical explanations. Maybe a mouse ran into the chair and that caused the chair to vibrate.  Or maybe it was just the sound waves and the metal table and since this was the first time I watched a video on my phone with my phone on the metal table at the time that seemed at least as likely an earthquake. 

When the video was finished, I browsed through my facebook feed to see posts from people in groups for foreigners living in Haiti asking each other if they had felt tremors.  Oh, so I had not imagined anything, and a mouse did not run into my chair and it had nothing to do with sound waves and metal tables after all.  There had been an earthquake.  I went to talk to the staff.  The ones I spoke with first, had not felt it.  Then I went into the programming room, where two of the older boys were sitting with a weekend supervisor; of the 66 children, only two had felt it.  By the time I went to bed, there was a little information available on the internet stating that there had been an Earthquake in Port de Paix, which is in the north.  When I went to bed, there was not yet any news of injury or specific destruction.  I asked Google about news in Haiti, and nothing came up.  I concluded that it must not have been bad, and thought maybe the lack of details was an indication that there had been no real damage. 

The next morning, I checked online again before going to the early mass.  The earthquake had occurred in Port de Paix.   At least 11 people had died and many others were injured.  There was mention of fallen or damaged buildings including a church and a hospital.  I was saddened to hear that there was loss of life and at the same time grateful that it had not been worse. 

At the end of mass during the announcements, which since there is no church bulletin sometimes take a long time, the priest said that there had been an earthquake.  He said that there was havoc in Cap-Haitian in the north.  Then he proceeded to say that a Catholic church had fallen down; in either Plaisance or Pilate; he was not sure where.  While the actual tremor itself had not shaken me the night before, the priest's words certainly did.  I asked the women sitting near me if she knew which church had fallen, and she replied kindly, yet, dismissively "one in the north," possibly she assumed I was asking because I had not understood, but I was asking because I did understand the difference between Pilate and Plaisance.  The church in Plaisance is where you turn to get on the road that leads to Pilate.  I know someone whose family lives very near that church.   Anyone who has been following my blog knows of my experiences in Pilate. 

When I got back to BLB, I tried to get information.  Cap-Haitian was not really damaged, although certainly, people there would have really felt it since they were much closer; it would have been too strong there to blame a mouse.  The church that had fallen, (one online news station said that the facade of it had fallen), was in Plaisance, which is actually in the diocese of Cap-Haitian, though a distance from the city.  My thinking is that the priest may not know the northern part of Haiti very well and for that reason said Cap-Haitian instead of Port de Paix. I can understand him confusing Plaisance with Pilate since they both start with "P," and are close together.     I was relieved and grateful to learn that all of the sisters and people I know in Cap-Haitian were fine during the earthquake.  Apparently, the sisters there had a meeting last weekend and the shaking ground did not even deter their meetings. 

Thank you, to everyone who checked in on me; I appreciate your support.   

Let us all pray for all of those who lost loved ones and homes due to the earthquake last week. 

Fèt Sen Franswa (Feast of St. Francis)

Today is the feast of St. Francis of Assisi.  The Catholic Church here in Grand Goave is named for him making him the patron saint of Grand Goave and today a local feast day, or holiday.  Actually, the Catholic school children here have three days off from school, the day before, the day of and day after the fèt.  Even our children who attend the Protestant school did not have classes today, except certain grades had a physical education or exercise program at school this morning. 

Since Thursday is my day off I decided to attend the feast day liturgy at the parish.  It seemed like it would be a good experience of the local culture, would get me out of the building on my day off and I like St. Francis. I guessed it could be about three hours long, and I was correct; for years I consistently underestimated when predicting the length of Haitian masses. 

Parish feast days are a big deal for many parishes in Haiti and often for the towns (or neighborhoods in larger cities) that those parishes are in.  My first year in Cap-Haitian, I attended such a mass on the Feast of the  Immaculate Conception. Being in a different part of Haiti, helps me to get a sense of what aspects of culture are likely very common for the entire country as opposed to simply local traditions. Priests sometimes go to feast days of other parishes to celebrate.  Before the mass I wondered if  I would see any of the Holy Cross men; if any were there I did not recognize them.  There was, however, one familiar face on the altar, the presider actually.  I knew that several months ago the bishop responsible for the Archdiocese of Cap-Haitian had been transferred to Port-au-Prince and I knew that Grand Goave is in the diocese of Port-Au-Prince. Still, I was surprised to see him.  Just about a year ago the same bishop had presided over the perpetual profession liturgy of one of the Sisters of Holy Cross.  Although I don't know him, I had seen him at occasional events in Okap and some of the Holy Cross convents had his picture on the wall.  I was glad that at least this time he did some parts of the mass including some of the homily in Haitian Creole  While surrounded by a sea of new faces, it was kind of nice to see a somewhat familiar one. 

During the homily, the bishop spoke of St. Francis' love of the poor and the environment.  He discussed the importance of these issues in Haiti, where there are so many people in poverty and so many environmental problems. 

Of course, these problems do not exist just here in Haiti and nor are they only to be reflected upon on the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi.  Let us all consider how our actions affect the poor and the earth and pray for and support one another as together we strive to create a sustainable world where everyone's basic needs are adequately met. 

Bon Fèt Sen Franswa!  Happy Feast of St. Francis! 

 

First Month Reflection

Yesterday marks one month since I arrived at Be Like Brit, and tomorrow marks one month since I officially began working here.  First months in a new position at a new place, are both simultaneously challenging and easy. Challenging because there is so much to learn, and easy because people are patient since the new person has much to learn. 

It seems to me that nearly every experience I have had in my entire life is somehow helping me in this current situation.  Every day I recall concepts from my teaching experience and ideas I was exposed to when studying for my undergraduate degree in Elementary and Special Education.  This helps tremendously because I am responsible for overseeing the program for eight of our children who attend the Be Like Brit Academy because their educational needs were not being adequately addressed in local schools.  Recently I was recalling a memory from when I worked at an overnight camp one summer when I was in college, and thought about how living at an orphanage is a little like that, except that these kids are here for many years instead of a few weeks.  I am grateful that I participated in various volunteer experiences when I was young, and lived and worked with lay volunteers for many years, as I interact with volunteers in my position here (here someone who is volunteering for only one month is considered a long-term volunteer, that differs from my previous experience.)  We are planning a transitional program for some of the oldest children who will need to be preparing for adulthood outside the walls of BLB; my experience of working at Covenant House in New Orleans and at Drueding Center (transitional housing for women and children experiencing homelessness) in Philadelphia provides me with a few ideas that can be adapted to assist us with the planning and implementation of a transitional program here.  My clinical social work experience comes in handy as I supervise social workers and a psychologist.  General Social Work theory and values inform all aspects of my work.  Obviously, my previous experiences in Haiti help a great deal.  If I had not learned the language I don't think I could be effective in this position. 

It amazes me how our life experiences build upon each other and one experience may be preparing a person for a later experience in life that the person would not even be able to imagine until it arrives.  I am grateful for all of the experience in my life, the people who have taught, supported and challenged me and for my current experience and all of those  I encounter, learn from and collaborate with each day.   

On my day off, I get to enjoy the beach. Fortunately, I learned to enjoy the beach during my childhood in the Ocean State!

Have a good week.  Many blessings! 

Third week: Books, Video and a Hammock!

Thanks to my parents and grandmother, we now have a library of over 200 books for the children in their own language!  The teachers are already making good use of the books to encourage reading and teach Science topics to the children.  Last night a couple of the evening time staff members read with and to the children using the new books.  Some children have stopped by my office to read the books.  I'm not sure which I enjoy more, reading to the children or listening to them read to me; either way, I'm delighted.  We are going to organize a library space and create a system so that we can keep track of the books and allow the children to borrow them.  Thank you, Mom and Dad and Grandma!  Mèsi anpil! 
 

For the first time in the eight years that I have been blogging, I am uploading a video.  Last week, I was interviewed about my new position.  It speaks for itself.  Enjoy!       

When I was attending a therapy training conference several years ago, we were directed to imagine ourselves in a safe and peaceful place.  In my imagination, I was in a comfortable hammock by the sea, where the weather was warm and a gentle breeze blew.  I could hear the gentle waves on the sand and smell the salty air.  I thought about that on my day off this week, because I actually spent my day in a such a place!  Of course, I did not stay in the hammock the entire day, after all, there was a beach to walk and beautiful water for swimming.  It was a peaceful, restful and wonderful day for which I was very grateful.       



I am doing well and hope that you are well too.  Thank you for taking the time to read my update.  Many blessings! 

Reflections on Recent Events: From Serious and Sentimental to Somewhat Silly

A few months from now, it will be hard to remember that there was ever a time when I did not know the names of each of the children or their caregivers.  Eventually, in addition to names, children's individual personalities and preferences will be revealed and known to me.  Certainly, some of the faces I'm still struggling to recall names for will be etched in my memory and carried forever in my heart. While working with children will always have an element of unpredictability and adventure,  soon I will have a sense of daily and weekly rhythms and routines.   Some of what seemed so new and mysterious early last week will be normal and natural by the end of next week.  As I write these words, I realize that certain aspects of my experience of starting in this new position as the program administrator of Brit's Home are likely a shared September experience that may resonate with educators and others everywhere.  

The first days here have been full.  Full of activity, but also of wonder, amazement, surprise, welcome and of love.  Among other activities, I have been meeting with each of the members of the program staff so that I can get to know them and understand what they do and how they view their work. I am feeling fortunate to be among so many professional people who truly care for and love the children.   

Today I took my first day off.  I was able to go to Tabarre for the goodbye celebration of a sister who is returning to the United States after serving in Haiti for 16 years.  She was very supportive of me especially during my first experience in Haiti.  I was grateful that I had to opportunity to attend today's gathering.  While there I stopped by  Kay St. Anne to visit some of the employees who knew well eight years ago when I worked at Kay St. Anne (if you have no idea what I am talking about because you started reading my blog in recent years, click see my blog entries written between late August of 2010 and October of 2011.)  Today, too, I was able to encounter two children who lived there when I worked there, both have beautiful smiles and great spirits, each happens to have a developmental disability and holds a very special place in my heart.        

 

Chapel at St. Damien's in Tabarre today

      

I had thought I had the bedroom here all to myself, but I was wrong.  There was actually a family of mice nesting underneath the bookcase in my room, where I suspect at least the momma mouse lived before I moved in.  When I first saw a mouse enter my room from under the door, and run and hide under the bookcase. I was not alarmed.   After all, (if you did read my old blog entries you know) eight years ago, at NPH where I  lived in a tent for the first month, a rat would regularly come into the tent at night and I would hear it under my cot. (here is the link to the entry with the rat story ) A mouse under a wooden shelf is nothing compared to rats under the bed.  I spotted the mouse several times and figured it would leave since I did not have any food out.  One night while trying to do a short bedtime yoga routine, I admit I got a bit skittish when I could hear mice noises and realized that while I could not see a mouse my head was close to the wooden shelf and imagined one running on me while I lay on the yoga mat with my eyes closed.  I did not finish the yoga video that night.  Soon after that, I saw a little mouse climbing over my shoe, fortunately, not the ones that were on my feet.  Yesterday three maintenance men worked very hard to evict the mice.  I had hoped that they would be able to do so without causing any mouse injuries or death, but I knew that my wish was not really realistic.  The men I believe had worked especially hard to trap the mother mouse and so they smiled with pride when showing me its remains.   To the best of my knowledge, I now have my own bedroom.      

     

Thanks for taking the time to read my update. Many blessings!  

  

HOME

Taken at the Knowth Monument, County Meath, Ireland earlier this month

Bridges of Ross, County Clare, Ireland

It is the reality that a missionary can come to have many homes and yet no one place that is fully 100% home.  During the past two months, I visited various places that I call home, grateful for each of those places and the people there.  I was fortunate to be able to visit Ireland, a place I have never lived but a place that is certainly home to me (in an ancestral/cultural way.)   I was happy to connect with so many family members, sisters, and friends during my summer travels and still I did not get to see everyone that I would have liked to; time has a way of going so quickly.

   

Now I am at Brit's Home. When I arrived on Wednesday afternoon, I was warmly welcomed by 66 singing and smiling children.  There was a pretty sign by my door to welcome me, thoughtfully written in English.  During the past couple of days, I have spent time arranging the large bedroom that is for my use.  To make it home, I brought with me a tea kettle and tea bags so that I can offer any visitors a cup of tea.

Various items that I have here with me, came from different places that I have called home.  All of my previous experiences come with me, they have shaped me and formed me and continue to influence me. This current experience will change and teach me as well.  My desire it use the gifts that I have been given and have gathered in my life, to be of service in this lovely and lively home while always recognizing, celebrating and encouraging the great gifts that are here in the hearts of each child and employee.

Please pray for me as I officially begin this new ministry tomorrow.  Thank you, everyone, who has been encouraging and supportive of me and this new endeavor. 
 
I wish all of you who are in the United States a Happy Labor Day weekend!  To all returning to school in the coming days, (or who recently have started a new school year) I wish you a good and blessed school year!   

 

Family, close friends, community members: let me know if you want to stop by for a cup of tea. I'll put the kettle on!  

                     
 

Reaction- Reflection-Challenge

It is a matter of luck that I did not plan to leave Haiti one week later than I actually left for the summer.  As you may be aware, during the past few days there have been protests and violence in Haiti, especially in Port-au-Prince.  Normally I am not in Port-au-Prince although that is where I was exactly one week before the demonstrations began.  On the first of July, I flew out from Port-au-Prince and due to flight delays arrived in the New Orleans airport early Monday morning (one week ago.)  To the best of my knowledge, all of the people I know personally are safe and reality is that even if I were in Haiti when this occurred, I would in all likelihood be perfectly safe too.   

When I wanted to get an update on the current situation this morning, I googled the news in Haiti.  Many articles came up about American missionary groups who are/were stranded.  It seemed that there was more concern on many news outlets for American groups who are in Haiti than for the Haitian people themselves.  Upon further reflection, I realized that selfishly, my own initial reaction was about my own security and convenience; "I am so glad I didn't leave one week later."  In some ways I think this is natural, we have an innate desire to keep ourselves safe and that is not a bad thing.  It is a reality that in general and people tend to be more concerned about those they know, especially those who are closest to them rather than anonymous strangers in other places.   

Perhaps the very conditions that lead to the anger that fuels such protests which sometimes turn violent (I am not excusing violence) can change only when we all, myself included, move beyond our initial response of self-protection and self-concern to truly loving all of our neighbors on the entire planet, as we love ourselves.  What if we were all able to realize that each and every person in our world is equally deserving of having the ability to meet his/her basic needs and that of their family members?  Only when we can all truly agree to that and work for policies and create systems that make true equality possible will such protests and problems of this nature become preventable.   

Let us pray for the people of Haiti and reflect on how we can change ourselves and non-violently work for systemic change until each person on our planet has the equal access to all basic human rights including access to meeting all basic needs in a way that is dingified and empowering.   





During July and August instead of weekly updates, I will write when inspired to do so and will resume regular updates in September.  Enjoy the summer!  Take care.  Many blessings!           

Be Like Brit

 


Last February while scanning my Facebook feed one evening, out of curiosity I clicked on a  job post for a position at a children's home.  It caught my attention because they were looking for someone with knowledge of "child development" and "positive discipline"  The more I read the more I was intrigued.  It seemed they were looking for someone with my exact skill set and experience.  Although I had not been actively seeking a job at that time, I began to wonder if this could be a possibility.  A specific date in early April was given as the deadline for applying, which gave me time to learn more about the organization and discern before even telling anyone about the position.  Trying to determine if the organization had a sense of mission, values, and priorities consistent with my own, I checked out the website of the organization, which is called Be Like Brit.   There I found that a book, Heart Ache and Hope in Haiti  was written by the couple who had started the orphanage  (and fortunately it was available to purchase on Kindle. )  While discerning if I should pursue this possibility I read the book.   The more I learned about the organization, the more I liked.  It seemed like it could actually be an ideal position for me, a good use of my skills and experience and an organization that had a sense of mission and values congruent with my own.   

Brit's Home was started by a family whose college-age daughter, Brittney, was on a service trip in Haiti with other university students when the 2010 earthquake occurred.  That morning she had visited an orphanage and sent a text stating that she wants to move to Haiti and start her own orphanage.  That was one of the last texts she would write because she was one of the thousands who died in that tragic event.  Her family started Be Like Brit in her memory.  If you visit the website and read the book the story will likely move you, too. To me, it is inspiring and a profound living example of the paschal mystery, new life resulting from death.  A family who tragically lost their child, created a loving and nurturing home for children who lack parents. 

After much reflection, discernment, and thought I decided that I was feeling called to at least send in my resume, cover letter and letters of reference and inform those in leadership of my congregation of my desire to at least be considered for this position.  On the afternoon in March when I decided to start to contact my congregation and those I wanted to write reference letters, the job posting that I had visited several times during the previous weeks, had suddenly disappeared from the internet.  I was deeply disappointed and thought maybe even though they said they would be accepting resumes until a specific date in early April, they had already filled the position.  After a little reflection, I felt compelled to at least ask if it would still be possible to apply and soon received a response.  It was not too late; one of the reasons that it had been taken down was that they were not planning to fill the position until the first of September.  I was elated and thought that would actually work out perfectly for me, since I was committed to finishing the school year in Cap-Haitian, desiring to make a several days long directed retreat this summer and have been looking forward to going to Ireland during the summer with my parents. 

During my interviews which took place via Skype, I asked many questions about various topics such as the treatment of children and staff training.  I was quite pleased with the responses, and extremely impressed with the program and even wondered if it was too good to be true. 

In May I visited for a long weekend and experienced Be Like Brit first hand.  From the minute I walked in the door I felt at home at Brit's Home.  I was able to spend some time with the children and talk with employees and others involved and just get a feel for the place, and it all felt amazingly positive.   

I was offered the job, and with the support of the leadership team of my religious congregation with much delight, I have accepted the position of Program Administrator of Brit's Home. 

Last week I packed up all of my belongings in Cap-Haitian.   During the past few weeks, I  have said many good-byes some of which were quite difficult.  The only disadvantage is that Grand Goave, where the program is located is quite a distance from Cap-Haitian and the people there who I have grown to love there during the past four years. 

On Sunday I traveled to Brit's Home where I am visiting for most of this week.  This visit is further confirming for me, that this where I am being called.  Since school is out the children are having more of a summer camp experience with a variety of fun, creative and educational activities and experiences.  Yesterday afternoon I went with a group of children and caretakers to the nearby beach for a swim.  It is a privilege to be able to spend time here as a visitor and observer, taking it all in.  I have had time to just chat with kids, employees, and volunteers and be with and play with the children.  I am looking forward to September when I will to the best of my ability, and hopefully with the prayerful support of all of you who are reading this assume this new role. 

There is even a mango tree just outside the front door! 

Final Moments: A Poem

Final Moments

Sitting with the final items that I've neither the desire to discard nor care to keep,
tiny decisions always abundantly sprout up in the wake of seemingly significant ones. 


Once I had every intention of eventually fixing every broken toy in the top desk drawer
now the time has gone,
and the super-glue within its protective container has hardened, stiff and useless. 


Sorting through the accumulated, no-longer necessary papers
each containing the memory of a moment, 
I take them and place them on the ashes of what others have previously destroyed,
no match is needed; they are ignited by older embers
soon smoke rises, conjuring up images of burnt offerings to ancient deities
the ordinary and necessary become ritual in the final moments
which is then interrupted by the awareness that this is likely a contribution to air pollution.


Is it possible to do good without the unintended unwanted side-effect of doing at least a little harm?   

I sweep the sand away. 
I find a child's missing marble that we'd fruitlessly searched for weeks before
If I would want to shake the dust from my feet it would simply stick to my skin
I close the doors much more mindfully than the many times I've locked them before. 

A  metaphor from a few years before smiles compassionately back at me,
it stands there just outside the door in the form of a fruit-filled mango tree.   

 



 

Endings and Four Years

When we say goodbye to people we never know if our paths will cross again.  I was thinking of that last week as the last regular week of school came to a close, wondering if I will ever again encounter some of the children I have worked closely with this year.  As I was leaving a school on Friday possibly for the last time, I heard my name and was approached by a familiar looking face.  A young man who had worked at Kay Saint Ann in Tabarre when I was there(7 years ago), was visiting Milot for a project.  I was glad that he recognized me and since he is in touch with many workers and children he updated me a bit.  Somehow encountering this young man put the good-byes that I had experienced that week in perspective. 

The World Cup starts tomorrow.  It was going on eight years ago when I was studying Haitian Creole in Miami.  It was also going on four years ago, the summer I was preparing to come to Cap-Haitian.  I just went back and read the update I wrote nearly four years ago.  In it, I wonder where I will be in four years.  Well, here I am four years later in Cap-Haitian, preparing to leave Haiti for the summer so that I can again prepare to return to Haiti but to something new (which I will write more about soon.)  Once again, four years later, I am preparing for something new in Haiti;  Is there something cyclical going on here?  Do I dare again wonder where life will have taken me four years from now?               


These weeks have been very busy.  This evening, I finished my grades for my high school  English conversation classes.  I have been spending extra time at the orphanage giving the children a final chance to come to the playroom or (for the older children) the possibility of a  creative activity.  This week I am observing during exams at the high school, which is not especially exciting. While most of my busyness has been related to my work, there has been some fun too.  On Monday I had the opportunity to go with several of the sisters and the eight postulants I live with to a beach.  We participated in an outing planned for many of the postulants and novices from several congregations as well as some diocesan seminarians.  It was a wonderful day spent by and in the sea.  It was very energizing to be around so many young enthusiastic people.    The Holy Cross men's novices who were my English students until last Thursday were also on the beach trip; I am glad it did not take too long to cross paths with them after class ended.   

Many blessings!     

Random Information and Observations

When I first started going to the sisters' school in Milot by tap-tap in September, I would almost always be asked by tour guides seeking a day's work, if I were going to the Citadelle.  I would tell them that I was not; I was going to the sisters' school.  After a while, when they realized that this was my weekly routine, they stopped asking but would often greet me kindly.  Then around Madi Gra, my dad came to visit and we actually went to the Citadelle.  Now, when I am on my way to the sisters' school in Milot I am often asked, by tour guides, "How is your dad?"  Two of them sometimes tell me to greet my dad for them.  This brings a smile to my face.  There is something beautiful about Haitian hospitality!

Our parish priest knows some basic English and likes to practice with me occasionally.  Recently, he began sometimes saying, "the Body of Christ," in English when offering me communion.  When he does, I respond, "Amen", with a long "A;"  instead of"Amen," with a short "A," which is how I respond if it is said in Creole or French.



Sometimes things have a way of working out wonderfully.

This past weekend I was very fortunate that things fell into place in terms of scheduling and I was able to participate in an online continuing education program through the Family & Play Therapy Center in Philadelphia.  I was very grateful and learned a lot about caring for children who are struggling because of their traumatic pasts.  If everyone better understood trauma I think we would all be a bit more compassionate and patient with one another and towards the children we encounter.       

There is only one morning a week, given our schedule, in which it is practical for me to go for a run to exercise.  I got lucky last week because during the night before my run we had just the right amount of rain to diminish the dust without creating much mud.  Sometimes, I recognize, appreciate and celebrate such simple things.  Hopefully, you do too.   


 

Once again, it is that time of year when mangoes are in season! 

Have a good week.  Many blessings! 

Animal Updates

Last week was not a very good week for the animals that live in our lakou (yard) here at Leocadie Convent.

Sometime between Monday night and Tuesday morning, our dogs which are more like security guards than pets somehow got into the pen where our goat was kept.  They killed the goat but did not eat her.  If it had not been for the female goat's growing belly and assumed pregnancy she probably would have been part our Easter dinner.  Since she had not died of an illness and was found soon enough after death, she was butchered and her meat is currently in our freezer.  It turns out she had not been pregnant at all, just started gaining weight as soon as she got here, which prolonged her life.

This was taken on Easter day.  The goat was happy to be in the yard and not on our plates.  

On Friday a sister took her beloved cat to the veterinarian.  The cat was diagnosed with parasites and given medication and expected to heal fully.  Apparently, there was quite a traffic jam on the way home from the vet and the cat was very scared and did not to well during the prolonged transport.  Although the cats are normally left outside the sister took the ill feline to her room to care for him.  He died that evening while we were praying or eating possibly of the combination of stress and parasites.


On a couple of occasions recently, I got a glimpse of a small zandolit(a lizard) who seems to have moved into my bedroom.  When it sees me it hides behind my bureau.  I have no intention of evicting the little creature since it will not hurt me and will hopefully help control the mosquito population. 


On a happy note regarding animals, someone gave the orphanage a dog.  This new dog is of a pet rather than a guard dog.  It is gentle and playful and most of the children seem to enjoy their new friend.  It was a pleasure to see some of the children joyfully playing with the puppy, while I was there on Saturday.  The dog is named "Kado," which means gift.

Kado

Your presence and support is a gift to me.  Thank you for taking the time to read this. 

Have a good week.  Many blessings!