Dancing and Drumming

Written on Monday, December 26, 2016)

The Christmas eve liturgy in the parish was a joyful celebration. The church that was overflowing with people.  Many were dressed in clothing made from special printed cloth with pictures of the Holy Family, prayers and Christmas greetings on them.  The parish covers a large geographic area and some people traveled a distance to come to mass.  Since the mass ends at midnight, long after dark, and there is also a morning liturgy, many people sleep in the church on Christmas eve.  As soon as the mass was finished people started drumming and dancing together to the rhythm of the drums just outside the church.  There was a wonderful sense of joy and celebration.
Following the liturgy, we had a party at the convent.  We ate and drank, danced and laughed, and danced some more.  People really than seemed to enjoy one another’s company.   Dancing around the table to music of various cultures seemed to bring us all together.  One of the priests who had gone to a small chapel in a smaller village this one, which is still in the parish, came after he had finished mass there.  It was about 3:30 in the morning when our Christmas party ended.  Still, we got up for 9:00 mass the following morning.  I was sitting next to a woman who was holding a small baby.  When I returned from communion she placed the child in my arms, so that she would not have to carry the baby to communion.  Smiling, I looked down at the sleeping infant in my arms; that brief moment was itself a true Christmas gift.

On Christmas eve and Christmas day we had many visitors who came bearing gifts for the sisters.  A woman came with her new baby who was very healthy; the sisters had cared for her first child through the nutrition program; her new baby does not need to be in such a program because now she knows what a baby needs to thrive.  She brought us a live chicken as a gift.  We gave her some homemade cookies and something to drink.  Several people brought us beer that they had brewed themselves.  Others brought food that they had cooked.  On Christmas evening the parish youth group came to visit.  They brought with them two drums that are essentially wooden boxes with what I assumed to be an animal skin on one side.  The youth playing the drums sat on them while making music.  The others sang and danced in a circle.  We joined the dancing and gave them some refreshments.  People share their gifts, their food, their talents, their time, their presence.

I will be lucky if I can get a strong and stable enough internet connection to post this within the next couple of days, so I will not even attempt to upload pictures while I am here, although I do have some I would like to share.

May you experience many blessings and graces during the New Year.  Peace!  

Journey and Reflection on Christmas

This was written on Wednesday, December 21, 2016.  It has been edited a bit since then while I wait for an internet connection that is stable long enough for me to paste this into the blog and post it.  

The flight from Port-au-Prince to Paris left Port-au-Prince approximately three hours later than scheduled.  There was one stop in Santa Domingo, in the nearby Dominican Republic.  I had assumed that this meant that more people would board the plane.  It had not even occurred to me that everyone on the plane would need to exit the plane with all of our belongings, go through security and then wait an hour in the airport before boarding again.   Before leaving Haiti I expressed to an airline employee my concern that I could miss my flight to Africa, because in addition to switching airplanes, and air lines, I had to take the bus from one major airport in Paris to the other.  She assured me that she would talk with her supervisor and I would be given a paper stating that the plane was late and that costs would be covered if I missed my second flight.  When I did not receive this paper, I asked again before boarding and was sure I would receive it once I boarded the plane.  The airline hostesses on the plane knew nothing of such a paper but said they were switching crews in the DR and the next set of airline employees would help me.  The next set of airlines employees suggested that an employee on the ground in Paris might be able to help me.  When I found an employee in the airport, she suggested I go to the office.  I quickly decided that if I took the time to locate the airline office I would increase my chances of missing the second flight, and by this time I was beginning to realize that there was probably no such paper.   The plan was for me to meet a sister from my congregation in the second airport; she was returning to Burkina Faso after a few months of vacation in the US.   Although I had tried to contact a sister who I hoped would get the message to her saying my first flight had been delayed I had no way of knowing if she had gotten the message.  A very kind woman allowed me to go ahead of her in the passport line at the first airport in Paris.  Next with a little help I located the bus which transports people directly from one Parisian airport to the other and waited about 20 minutes.  When I arrived at the second Paris airport, I felt it was not necessary to ask to cut in line again though there was a long line for the passport check.  Before I could get in the next line to go through the security check I was told by airline staff that my carry on size suitcase was too heavy; I needed to back track and check my carry-on bag.  Then I had to resume waiting in the security line.  It was already after the time that the plane was supposed to start boarding when my bag was rolling through the security check.  When I finished in security I had only a few minutes until the scheduled take off, and was past the recommended time to arrive at the gate, so I did not even put my sneakers back on my feet.   I walked very quickly towards the gate, where I was so elated to see the sister who was waiting for me.  I was also very relieved to learn that there would be a slight delay; I actually had time to use the bathroom and fill my water bottle before the next flight; thanks be to God!     

Two Marianites came to meet us at the airport in Ouagadogou, the capital of Burkina Faso.  We spent the night at a Catholic hospitality house near the aiport.  In the morning the two sisters who had come to meet us ran errands while the sister who was returning from her vacation and I slept late.  Early the next afternoon, we started the final step of the journey to Yalgo.  A very quick glance out the window of the pick-up truck while still in the capital, seeing various activities including numerous people selling things along the side of the roads, and billboards and road signs in French, it seemed like despite my long journey I might still be in Haiti.  Looking more carefully, there were many differences in the details.  One of the sisters pointed out that there are a lot of motoes in Burkina Faso; I had not noticed the number of motoes (there are many motoes in Haiti too) but I was surprised that there were only one or two people on each of them (as opposed to three or four or sometimes more in Haiti,) and that there were so many women driving motoes.  The drive from the capital to Yalgo, the village where the sisters live and work, normally takes about four hours, if you don’t run any errands or stop to eat along the way, which we did.  I was impressed by the quality of the national roads, had I come directly from the US, I would not have been.  We arrived at the convent in the village of Yalgo Thursday evening.   

There are four Marianite sisters who live and work here, one is a native of Burkina Faso, one a Canadian, and two Americans.  There is a young parish here, and as part of the parish and diocesan ministries there is a developing medical center with a pharmacy, program for babies who are malnourished, maternity program, a doctor and some other basic medical services.  Although our sisters are not directly responsible for them there is also a primary school and a new program for preschool aged children.  I have visited all of these programs during the past several days.  This new parish is really striving to meet the needs of the people of the area.  Our sisters’ presence seems very much appreciated by the people.  Although communication is challenging, the people seem so gracious and welcoming. 

On Sunday I accompanied the local priest and a sister to a joyful ordination liturgy at the cathedral in the local dioceses of Kaya.  The priests literally danced around the altar during the song of Thanksgiving towards the end of the liturgy.  The mass was mostly in Morey, a language spoken by many (but not all) people in Burkina Faso; some of the mass parts were also in French, the official language, which is spoken by those who have been educated.  Ironically, of the many languages typically spoken in Burkina Faso, the one I most understand is the very language I least understand in Haiti. 

On one hand it does not seem like Christmas time.  I am so far from all of the places I have called home.  There are very few decorations around, no Santas, or sleigh bells, no well-lit pine trees.  I reflected on this and I opened my eyes and looked around.  In the gospel Christmas story there was never any mention of any those things.  The first Christmas did not happen in an American shopping mall, or a comfortable living room.  Mary and Joseph were far from home in a place that probably looked a lot like Yalgo.  Here many people travel by donkey.  On market day, some people come into town on the backs of camels.  Since there is so little light pollution, the stars are very bright on a clear night.  I look at the place here on the grounds of the convent where the animals are kept; certainly it could serve as a simple shelter for desperate travelers.  This is exactly the kind of place where Jesus was born.   Of course, it true that Jesus is present and Christmas happens everywhere and yet in the Gospel stories and when I reflect upon my own life, Jesus is frequently found in a special way at the margins.  This year, here in this quiet little village (far from the places I call home, and the people I have usually celebrated with) on the edge of a desert in a country most Americans have never even heard of I cannot think of a better place to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  May I recognize him in the people I meet each day, while I am here and everywhere I may travel during the New Year.  I wish you peace and joy during these holy days.  Merry Christmas! 

Dear family, close friends, and community members, 
Even if I do not get a chance to greet you personally or you don’t receive a card from me (which you won’t because I have not sent any out this year) please be assured of my love and prayers.  Although I do believe that I am where I am supposed to be this Christmas, I do miss you.  Many blessings!  Love, Kathleen          

Vwayaj

The voyage has begun!  The very first step of my long journey to Africa is complete; the bus ride from Cap-Haitian to Port-au-Prince.  The 9:00 bus did not leave the bus station until nearly 11:30 making for a very long day.  I met some interesting and kind people along the way.  I was happily surprised to be greeted at the bus station by the sister who works at the school in Pilat; I did not know she was also visiting Porta-u-Prince.   

Although there are several other things I could write about, as it was an eventful week, this will be a very short entry  because I need to prepare for the next step on my journey to Africa.  

 I will try to keep in touch.  Many blessings!  

 

Second Week of Advent Update

Advent Decorations at the school in Pilat

The rest of my time in Pilat went well.  It is a pleasure to interact with the children there.  I was fortunate to be able to leave on Saturday as planned, although slightly later than initially expected.  With the conditions of the roads and rainy nights, one can not take plans for granted, especially when traveling to and from Pilat.  The night before I left a driver slept in the vehicle he was driving because the road was blocked by other vehicles which were stuck in the mud.  The quality of the road has negative repercussions.  Vendors have not been able to enter Pilate to sell their produce.  This has caused prices to rise sharply and quickly, making it even harder for people to purchase food and other basic necessities.  

On Sunday I resumed my work at the orphanage.  Time is going so quickly.  This is the last week that I will do groups with the children during this calendar year.  This week we have had less rain and things are finally starting to dry up.  For the first time in over a month, I bicycled to the orphanage today (I stopped taking the bicycle when the heavy rains started.)  There were only two places where I had to get off and walk it through mud and large puddles,

Next week I am heading to Africa to visit Marianties who are missioned in Burkina Faso.  I am looking forward to seeing them, experiencing their mission and learning more about the country and culture.  Whether or not I update this blog during my travels will depend on the internet connection.  I have heard the internet there is not reliable. If by chance it is very good, perhaps I will update more often to update about my travels.  If it is poor, maybe I won't blog at all.    During the first week of January, I will return to Haiti.

May you experience many blessings during this Advent season.  And, just in case, I am not able to update between now and Christmas, may you experience many graces during the Christmas season as well.  Be assure of my gratitude and prayers.  Many blessings!          

Advent Adventures

Thanksgiving

Last Thursday, thanks to Agape Airlines who provided us, as they do all interested American missionary families who use their mail service, with a turkey and all of the fixings for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  This year I was thankful that another American sister was able to cook with me.  We cooked and ate at the orphanage convent; that oven is slightly more reliable than the one at the convent where we live.  Because of her assistance, I was still able to teach English class that morning, and hold my groups with the children (although I started a little late) that afternoon.  I am grateful that we were able to celebrate Thanksgiving.  I have so much to be thankful for.  On the top of my list are the many people that I am fortunate to have in my life. 

Route to Pilat

On Saturday evening the sister who is the director of the school in Pilat called to say that the driver should be there before noon on Sunday.  Grateful that we had mass at the orphanage on Saturday afternoon, I spent Sunday morning getting ready.  Before noon, she called to say that driver was unable to come because another vehicle was stuck in the mud blocking the road that leads to and from Pilat.  Then she said that the hospital machine was also on its way to Cap-Haitian and if I could get to one of the other convents closer to downtown, they would be able to give me a ride.  There is only one sister in our convent with a Haitian driver’s license; she was home so I asked her for a ride to the convent.  When we were in the city, I received an additional phone call saying that the hospital vehicle had not been able to leave Pilat due to the road block, so we headed back to the convent.  When we were almost home, she called again to say that the hospital vehicle was no longer stuck and was on its way after all. The driver had agreed kindly agreed to come to the convent where I live to get me.  He arrived at about 4:15.  He had several errands to run, and needed to pick up people who were also going to Pilat.  It was raining and many of the streets in downtown Cap-Haitian were full of water, others had mud and rocks left by the flowing waters.  It was an hour after he picked me up before we actually left the city limits.  The paved national road, the closest thing to a highway here had many large puddles and water filled potholes.  The driver was appropriately cautious especially when the rain was heavy.  At times he even turned off the radio so he could concentrate on driving.  Most of the time the radio was on because everyone was expecting the results of the presidential primary election to be announced that evening. 

We were fortunate that the rain ceased just before we turned off of the national road onto the road that leads to Pilat.  I have described this unpaved hilly road with seven bridgeless rivers in previous posts. On Sunday night the road was also wet and very muddy.  At one point the driver stopped the car and chatted with a police officer, who seemed to uncertain if we should continue on route because of the mud.  It was decided that everyone except for the driver should get out of the car.  Less weight would decrease the chances of the hospital vehicle’s tires sinking into the mud.  There were about nine of us, mostly women, one was holding a toddler who had slept most of the ride but awoke for the walk down the muddy hill.  At times we held hands or locked arms.  After sitting so long in the crowded vehicle, my legs were grateful to move.  My inexpensive Haitian cell phone has a built in flashlight, which I used to carefully chose my steps.  The mud was slippery, it reminded me of slush and ice, but it was not cold out; in fact it was a perfect temperature for an evening stroll.  The car passed us; when the driver assessed that the chances of getting stuck in the mud were minimal he stopped and waited for us.  Eventually, we all entered the car. Prior to our down-hill trek through the mud in the dark the passengers had been fairly quiet, but suddenly there was a lot of laughter and chatter.  Then my inexpensive Haitian cellphone rang; my parents called me as they typically do on Sunday night.  Hearing the laughter in the background my curious mother cheerfully asked, “Are you at a party?”  Looking through the windshield at the rocky muddy road illuminated by the car’s headlights, I laughed out loud.  I told my mother that I was not at a party.   Perhaps, I should have said that I was, after all we were celebrating that we were nearing our destination and that nobody had fallen in the mud, and the car had not gotten stuck.  Certainly, that is as good a reason to celebrate as any!

    

School Work  

This week I am assisting in the preschool in Pilat.  I am helping the teachers to encourage the children to play.  With a grant that my congregation gave in celebration of 175 years since the founding of the Marianites of Holy Cross, we were able to purchase some age appropriate toys and books (written in their native language) for the children.  The children are enjoying playing, and being read to.  I am enjoying the children.   I was also asked to prepare a ten minute prayer in Creole for the preschool and primary school children for each morning this week.  This takes place in the school yard before classes start.  It has encouraged me to reflect upon the Advent themes and try to fully enter into this special liturgical season.  It also means that all of the children in the primary grades of the school know me by name.  Now when I go for a short walk in the afternoon, little girls greet me by name every few miniutes.      

Other Updates

The Haitian election results were announced late Monday night. 

We are still receiving frequent rain. 

The poinsettia plants are blooming; the only visible reminder for me that Christmas in coming.  (I had every intention of including a picture of one of the plants but would need at least half an hour to upload a single photo; the next paragraph will explain why.)    

The internet connection here in Pilat has been poor and unstable. I am hoping to get on line long enough to post this.  I will catch up on responding to emails and things when I return to Okap, which will hopefully happen on Saturday assuming the road will be passable.  

   

Thank you everyone who donated to the Marianites of Holy Cross through the Giving Tuesday program.  Thank you Marianites for passing that money on to Mary Gate of Heaven Orphanage.  Mèsi anpil!   

May you experience many graces during this season of Advent.  

Mud, Mosquitoes and Mold

This week's  title was chosen because currently there is an abundance of all three and I like alliteration.  The mold is soft and cotton-like, it grows on the cement floor of the play therapy room every night when nobody is watching.    It is a new phenomenon which I attribute to the rains and prolonged dampness.  Fortunately, neither the children nor I appear to be allergic to it. Each morning I sweep it away easily enough.  The mosquitoes are everywhere lately and occasionally even find their way under the net that is supposed to protect me from them while I sleep.  They are the only animal that I don't hesitate to kill; and when I do sometimes I end up with my own blood on my hands.  The good thing about the mud is that when there is mud in the road, there is almost no dust in the road.  If I could not appreciate the advantage to something as annoying as mud, or recognize the beauty of mold, or joke about mosquitoes life would be even more challenging.


I want to thank my cousins in Limerick, Ireland, who held a fundraiser for the orphanage last week.  Thank you!  I have been very touched by your generosity.  It is the generosity of so many people that allow the orphanage to meet the needs of the children.  In the time that I have been in Haiti, the value of the currency has decreased and prices have increased.  It is a blessing that donations are increasing too.  Recently a Sunday School group in Ohio held a bake sale at their parish and raised money for us too. It is wonderful that there are children willing to help out other children. Thank you!  Having so many people who generously support our mission inspires me.

My congregation has decided that any donations made to the Marianites of Holy Cross through the I Give Catholic program of the Archdiocese of New Orleans during the Giving Tuesday campaign this year will be passed along to the orphanage.  Thank you Marianites! Here is the link if you are interested in donating:  https://igivecatholic.org/designee/marianites-of-holy-cross-archdiocese-of-new-orleans
There are many needs here.  I am hoping that some of the funds raised will allow us to provide more training for our staff and administrators so that we can do an even better job of caring for our children. Personally, my dream is that the orphanage move towards becoming a trauma-informed agency.  All of our children have experienced loss and some form of trauma.  Here is a link to a website, for people who may not be familiar with that term, trauma-informed care:  http://traumainformedcareproject.org/

Primary elections for president took place here in Haiti on Sunday.  The sisters who voted said that it was very well organized.  We are still waiting for the results.  These elections were a re-do because of corruption problems during last year's primary.   They were also more recently postponed because of Hurricane Matthew.


To all my friends, family, community members in or from the United States, I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!  To all my family, friends, and community members everywhere, know that I am grateful for you!  I thank God for the presence of so many wonderful people in my life. Many blessings!  Take care.

A Disorienting Week

We resolutely stand with those who are excluded.  -from the mission statement of the Marianites of Holy Cross

Last Monday, after I updated this blog, I went for a ride with several sisters through the city.  Here is just one picture to give you a sense of the flooding experienced in the area.  

This has been quite a week! The events of the week have been frustrating and disappointing, even disorienting.  Nothing looked the same under all of the rain.  The US election results shocked me.  

 Schools were closed for an entire week due to the flooding.  Water entering the play therapy room as well as the deep puddle outside of it prevented me from holding regular therapy groups for a week.  Conditions gradually improved; I think we even had one full day where there was almost no rain.  A few sunny days have helped the water levels to decrease significantly; such days have sometimes been followed by rainy nights; although heavy at times it has not caused the severe flooding we had early last week, fortunately.  Schools opened again yesterday and I have resumed my appointments with the children.    

One recent morning while walking to work, I was tempted to complain to myself because my rain boots are no longer waterproof.  I looked up to see two men pushing a large rickety wooden cart loaded with long bamboo poles, as they made their way down the unpaved wet road.  The only thing on their feet was mud. 

It is a gift to live with an American who has similar political views this year.  Late Tuesday night she sat with me for a little while as we stared at the US election map on the NPR website; listening to the commentary and watching sometimes in utter disbelief as states changed colors.    

   

Recently a Haitian child spoke with me of having heard that the new President of the United States does not really like black people and therefore Haitians.  In that moment I felt a deep sadness as I attempted to respond in a way that was both honest while fully affirming of the child’s dignity.  The following day, an employee asked me why the United States is sending people including children back to Haiti.  I had read that the moratorium against deporting Haitians that had been put into place immediately following the earthquake had been lifted and that the US government would resume deportation of Haitians.  I honestly do not know that the people this woman spoke of were actually officially deported by the US government.  She is concerned about these neighbors who apparently are struggling since their recent (possibly forced) return to Haiti.  Whether her friends were deported or not there is the reality that people seeking opportunities for themselves and their families without the means to obtain the legal paperwork are being deported from the US.  I fear that deportations  will increase during the newly elected administration.  This morning, I reflected on how to respond to such situations.  To the children and the employees at the orphanage, I am likely the only American that they are currently encountering on a daily basis.  While the president-elect may not convincingly express love for Haitians or other people of color, or Muslims or many other groups for that matter; I certainly can.  While the US government may reject people to the point of actually ejecting them from the country, I can do my best to be accepting and inclusive of all of the people I encounter each day. Let us do our best to be loving, accepting, inclusive, compassionate and just in all of our interactions wherever we are and whoever we are and sincerely say that we are sorry when we or our governments, churches, communities, elected officials, and organizations fall short.

There may be many opportunities in the coming months and years to live out the concluding phrase of the Mission Statement of my congregation, something we are all called to do.  

Peace!  

                

Rain, Lapli, More Rain, Plis Lapli, Rain Again, Lapli Anko!

The convent driveway and front yard, taken this morning.  

The first door on the left is the door to the play-room, where I conduct groups and appointments with the children. This was taken yesterday afternoon.  

This was the path from the Orphanage Convent to the other buildings on the grounds of the orphanage yesterday around noon.  

The field at the orphanage.  this was taken yesterday around noon when the rain had stopped.  

The orphanage playground taken late afternoon yesterday, through the back window of the play therapy roon.  

Had I known that rain would be the obvious choice of topics for this week's update, perhaps I would have chosen to write about something else last week.  Rain is the reason I am updating on Monday as opposed to Tuesday.  I might as well update today, since heavy rainfall, and flooded streets have kept me making the short trip to the orphanage today.  If the rain stops, I will be able to go to the orphanage later this afternoon or tomorrow, si Dye vle.  Today rain has closed schools and many businesses in the area.  Rain caused a last minute change of location for the local parish Sunday liturgy yesterday morning because we could not enter the school yard where we normally have mass due to large puddles.   While it did not keep me from going to the orphanage yesterday, the wet floor of the play room, damp toys and deep puddle outside the door of the playroom prevented me from holding my Sunday group sessions with the older children.  Instead, I mopped the water out of the playroom and offered creative activities  and games in the house.  We are fortunate to have sturdy two-story housing both where I live and for the children at the orphanage.  I suspect, however, that the orphanage convent is at risk of possible flooding if this rain continues.  Unfortunately, there have been news reports of a few flooding-related deaths in the general area.  No doubt this rain is causing serious suffering for many of our neighbors, employees, families of sisters, and friends.  So, I find myself repeating my request for prayers for those who are suffering greatly because of the rain.

Wednesday was the Feast of All Souls.  I was happy to once again have attended the liturgy followed by prayers in the Holy cemetery.  It is now a familiar ritual, similar to the past two years. See: 2015 All Souls Day and 2014 All Souls Day for more details.

I have resumed teaching English on Thursday mornings.  This year the Holy Cross men have six novices who attend along with their novice director and another young priest.  There are three Holy Cross sisters and a young woman who is doing an internship while discerning entering the congregation among my students as well as an orphanage employee who hasThurdays off.  I find I really enjoy teaching them.

I hope you are well.  Have a good week.  For all my American family, friends, community members, don't forget to vote tomorrow.
 
Take care.  Many blessings!

   

Rain and Joy

On rainy mornings as I make my way between the Leocaide Convent and the orphanage, with my colorful rain boots and poncho, sometimes someone will ask me, "blan, ou pa pè lapli?" (White person/ foreigner, you are not afraid of the rain?")  The first time I was asked this, it seemed like a very random question; bewildered I responded, "non, m pa pè lapli."  Upon reflection, I realize that I am fortunate not to have any experiences that have led me to be afraid of rain.  Rain does make travel more difficult for many people.  There are nearby houses which after any significant rainfall become concrete islands in the middle of small ponds.  Flooding can easily occur.  In the south of Haiti, where they recently experienced Hurricane Matthew, they have had too much rain in the weeks since the storm.  I am fortunate never to have experienced mudslides or anything of that sort.  We all know that standing water, which is plentiful after rain, becomes breeding grounds for mosquitoes which carry Malaria, Zika, and other illnesses.  It is also well documented that the number of cholera cases increases following rainfalls.  So, while I am not afraid of the rain, I certainly can understand how and why someone would be.  Let us pray for all of those who have good reason to fear the rain, and may we find ways to at least try to advocate for systemic changes that would decrease the problems caused by rain and experienced by so many people.     

The orphanage cat sleeping in an umbrella.  

No matter what is going on at the orphanage, every day something brings me joy.  It may be the contagious excitement of two-year-olds who are fascinated by an orange caterpillar making its way along the ceramic tile on the porch where I sometimes play with them.  It may be the kind word of a thoughtful employee.  Sometimes it is the enthusiasm of one of the youngest children who always smiles as he asks me when his next group therapy appointment is.  Occasionally it is something in nature like  a beautiful hummingbird passing by.  Sometimes it is my belief that the activity a child did during a session was significant and hopefully healing.  I am grateful for such moments, especially on the more challenging days.  

May you have many moments that bring you joy this week. 

Happy All Saints Day!     

        

Retreat: Pictures and a Prayer/Poem

In celebration of our 175th anniversary of our the founding of the Marianites of Holy Cross, women from both of the other Holy Cross congregations as well as a priest and a brother gathered in Louisiana for a special retreat.  A brother of Holy Cross presented during the retreat which centered around the first General Superior, Mother Mary of the Seven Dolors (that was her religious name; her first name at birth was Leocaide; the house where I live in Haiti is named for her.)  I am very grateful that I was able to make the journey to Lousiana and participate in this prayerful experience.  I am happy to share with you some pictures I took and a prayer/poem I wrote during retreat. 

Mary At The Foot of The Cross

You could not stop the suffering

still you stayed, 

You could not cease the crucifixion

yet you remained,

Appearing and feeling painfully powerless

Prophetic and profound was your powerful presence,

After years of active mothering

there was nothing to do but stand, 

but, you were no passive on-looker, 

 much energy is required to actively love

even as the events shattered your previously pierced heart,

You stayed standing through the suffering

somehow, simply trusting

what you could not have yet known.

  

Help me, that I may continually choose to stand with you, 

confident that you stand with me, too.  Amen.  

On Sunday afternoon, I returned to Haiti. On Monday morning as I approached the gate of the orphanage, most of the children were exiting to head to school for the day.  My heart was happy to see them.  I smiled as I greeted them.

Take care.  Many blessings!    

A Week After the Storm

Yesterday the children returned to school after a full week of closures due to Hurricane Matthew, even though we did not experience real hurricane conditions in our immediate area.  As typical routines  quickly resumed,  images on the internet and comments made by those who watch the television news remind me of the terrible suffering people are experiencing on the southern side of this country.   Some sisters have family members in places hard hit by the storm.  Ther are so many sad stories. Silmatenesoly the devastation seems both very far away and close by.  In places with fewer resources and greater poverty, there are fewer protections from such storms and so greater suffering results.  It is an injustice.  What can we do to change this?  How do we prevent such unnecessary death and loss?  How am I (are we) called to respond to the current situation? As usual, I have more questions than answers.

I try to keep up with what is going on in elections on both sides of the water; I don't always do a good job.  The Haitian presidential primary elections which were scheduled to take place last Sunday have been postponed because of the hurricane.  There is a tentative date for the end of the month.    I was able to watch the American presidential debate on Sunday night since we actually get CNN here.  I only recently learned that we get CNN and I've lived here over a year.  The other American sister who lives here and I tried to watch the first debate but missed most of it due to poor television reception.

Next week, I will not be updating this blog because I will be on retreat.  It will be great to connect with and pray with Marianites and other members of the Holy Cross congregations as we prayerfully  reflect and give thanks in celebration of 175 years since the Marianites of Holy Cross were founded.

I've been touched by the generosity of so many people all over the world recently. Some of my cousins in Ireland are planning a Quiz Night as a fundraiser for the orphanage.  A Sunday school group of children at a parish in Ohio are also planning a fundraiser for us as well.  It is encouraging that there are so many people willing to enable us to care for the children.  Although I said this last week, it is worth repeating, I felt supported by many people who contacted me to make sure I was okay when they heard of the  hurricane in Haiti.  Thank you,  everyone!  

Take care.  Many blessings!

Hurricane Matthew

a hibiscus/ (choublak )flower in the rain

You have probably heard that Hurricane Matthew has caused a lot of devastation in Haiti today.  The storm hit the southern part of the country and did a lot of damage there.  I am living on the opposite end of the country and so far we have not experienced anything that could be considered hurricane conditions.  All day, it has been damp and cloudy, with light intermittent rain.  There is almost no wind, not even the typical tropical breeze that lightly blows through on most days.    It seems now that the storm is passing to the west of us, although weather reports indicate that there is still a possibility that we may experience some hurricane conditions. If we get anything at all, in all likelihood it will not be anything like people experienced in other parts of the country.   

 As the storm approached, in general, my family members, community members and many friends in the United States seemed to me to be more concerned about the possible approaching storm than did many of the people here in the potential path of the storm.  It is interesting to observe individual and cultural differences in how people respond to such situations.  It worked out well, that today (Tuesday) is my day off and that I have had a relatively good internet connection most of the day so that I could easily respond to emails, phone calls and messages reassuring everyone that I am fine and all is well here.  You remind me of how fortunate I am to have loving community members, family, and friends.  Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, concern, and well wishes.   My heart goes out to all of those who have been affected by the storm; they are the ones who most need our  prayers, thoughts, compassion and concern. 

Schools were closed yesterday and today throughout the country because of the storm.  I suspect they will be closed tomorrow too, maybe for several days.  Elections are supposed to take place here on Sunday; I am wondering if and how the storm will impact people’s ability to vote especially in areas most affected by the hurricane.  It does not take a lot of rainfall to make travel difficult in Haiti.  Most of the roads are not paved.  Muddy flooded roads, and puddles the size of ponds can make it impossible for people to get to school, work, medical treatment or polling places.  

A flower (whose name I do not know)  in the rain.  ( Give me a break; I know the name of the flower at the top in both English and Creole) so if you know the name of this flower (in any language) please share it; leave a comment.  Thank you!    

Have a good week!   Many blessings!   

Updates and Brokeness

Ministry Update
For a long time, I have wanted to be more available and involved with the families of the children at the orphanage.  The children spend the entire summer vacation and a couple of weeks at Christmas time with whatever relatives they have.  While out of an ethical commitment to confidentiality I can't share details of the meeting I had with relatives of the children, I can share that I am glad I invited them to meet with me.  I learned a lot from those who came, and we are planning to do it again next month!    

Housing Update
There are three young woman soon to be postulants who moved into the convent where I am living  The postulants who were here last year are now entering their second year and are out living and working in different locations.  Currently, in addition to the three newcomers, there are two Haitian sisters, one sister from Burkina Faso,  one Canadian sister, and two Americans.  Two other Haitian sisters who officially live here are away in Canada at this time but will be returning next month.  It is a gift to be able to live with people of various cultures and ages, to be exposed to different worldviews and ideas. It is also a gift and a welcomed change to live with someone else from the United Staes.    


Relfection 
Lately, I have found myself reflecting upon brokenness.  I share this simple reflection/poem with you.
Brokenness
So much seems broken:
inconsistent internet
warped bed frame
pot-hole laden roads
dull knife
will the water run?
will the lights come on?
will the pilot light in the oven ignite?
will the bicycle slow when the handbrake is pulled?

Most difficult of all:
broken promises and
broken hearts



Have a good week.  Take care. Many blessings!

Preschool Pilat

The first day of school is kind of scary for many young children.  I was thinking about that a lot during the past couple of days.  I traveled to Pilat over the weekend to welcome the new kindergarten class on Monday and Tuesday at the sisters’ school there.  As one can expect many of the 33 new students cried as their mothers left and several continued to cry intermittently throughout the school days.  Since they were short a teacher’s aide, I was quite busy those two days.  Many of the children became more comfortable as time went on and certainly will continue as school becomes their familiar routine and hopefully a positive pleasant experience.  

It was great to see the second year preschool children as well, who have grown since I last saw them in June.  They, of course, asked for Ti Tòti, (the turtle puppet)  who came out to play with them during recess; that little puppet received many little kisses!  

Early this morning,we were nearly twenty minutes into our journey leaving Pilat, to return to Cap-Haitian, and had just crossed a river (without a bridge) when we saw one of the young kindergarten students in her school uniform dress holding her mother's hand as they walked the rocky unpaved mountainous roads towards school.   It was well before 7:00; the school day begins at 8:15.  

This afternoon, after various delays, I officially began to see the children at the orphanage for groups.  It never ceases to amaze me how children express themselves through play and art.  It is a privilege to accompany them.  I am grateful that I am here. 

Many blessings!    

Lakansyèl (Rainbow)

While on the orphanage playground with the children late yesterday afternoon, I looked up to notice a beautiful rainbow. 

  

This is a perfect metaphor for my first full week back after vacation.  It was bright and sunny.  Overall I was very happy to be back and it was a good week.  Yet, there were some storms; a lack of clarity in a particular situation and a disagreement which I would not have predicted and do not fully understand and could have handled better.  Sometimes we look at the sky on a beautiful day when thunderstorms are on the way and say, what is the weather doing?  I looked around and wondered what I am doing?, what God is doing?  Yet somehow just as the beautiful rainbow came,  a sense of joy and consolation entered my heart.  It was not because of anything I or anyone else did or said, not because all was suddenly settled, but it was simply a gift from God.  I may not know exactly what I am doing from one moment to the next sometimes, or what God has planned, but God will use both the sunshine and the storms to create great beauty.  

May you experience joy and recognize the rainbows in your life. Thank you for taking time to read this.  Many blessings!    

Return to Haiti

Sometimes it still amazes me how modern day travel can allow us to be in very different places within a short amount of time.  Sunday night I was at my cousin's wonderful wedding eating chowder and clam cakes at the reception in scenic Newport, and the following afternoon I was in a convent in Cap-Haitian chatting with sisters and eating a mango.  

I am grateful that I was able to spend time with family and friends during vacation.  My time in Rhode Island which also included a fun trip to visit family friends in New York and also a trip to Massachusetts to be with my twin sister on our birthday. I am also equally grateful that I have returned to Haiti.  School was scheduled to start this week, but for reasons that are unclear to me, it will start next week.  Only a few children are at the orphanage now, the others will come on Sunday. Today I was happy to see those who came early as well as the employees.   I am very much looking forward to seeing the rest of the children, but am also glad that I have a little time to get organized before the children arrive.    

Now that I am back in Haiti, I intend to resume weekly updates.  Take care!  Many blessings!     

Travels

Last week while switching planes during my travels from New Orleans to Philadelphia, I became aware of how in recent years travel has become somewhat routine and recalled a time in my life when it was quite novel.  At the age of seven, I boarded a plane for the very first time with my parents and  two sisters, wearing our dresses from the previous Easter; we flew Pan-Am Airlines from Boston to Shannon.  Three weeks were spent in Ireland, meeting our relations, touring, playing with cousins and neighborhood children.  It was wonderful!  When it was time to leave, I remember thinking at that time, that when I grow up I will live in Ireland.  Somehow, my seven-year-old self never fathomed that I would live in Haiti instead.

While in Philadelphia last week I assisted three mornings at a vacation bible school that the Sisters of the Holy Redeemer and their lay associates organized for 40 children.  One of the lively songs that frequently was sung during the program said something like, "I will follow Jesus wherever he will lead me."  I thought, the children singing this song really have no idea where God or life will lead them; just like, at the age of seven I never imagined living in Haiti.   Do they really know what they are saying?   Simply making any attempt at going where one thinks God's Spirit seems to lead can take us to the places and circumstances we never fathom.

I know that I am grateful for the places that I have been and the many people I have  met.  It has been a gift to be able to connect with people who I know from different chapters of my life during the past few weeks.  As I travel around I find that I have a deepening appreciation for those who seem to stay in one place and live so well their commitment to the people they serve.

Last weekend I traveled again, driving from Philadelphia to Ohio, where I spoke about the orphanage and my mission experience at two parishes during weekend liturgies.  Sometimes I find it hard to know what to say.  How can I accurately describe my experience?  How do I convey both the challenges and the privilege of serving in Haiti?  the great beauty  and the harsh poverty?  The frustrations and the joys?  The great gifts of the culture and the realities of the lack of adequate infrastructure?  How do you do this well and ask for money (something I hate doing) and say it all during that brief time after communion before the final blessing? Well, I tried and I met a lot of very nice people in the process. That is one thing about traveling, there are good, interesting, generous people everywhere I go and I am grateful for those encounters.

Now my travels have brought me home to Rhode Island, for a few weeks.  It is good to be here!    

I hope you are doing well, wherever you may be.  Many blessings!    

Pataje

During the three years that I lived in New Orleans after my first experience in Haiti and before I returned, I would sometimes attend the Haitian Creole liturgy.  There is a relatively small but growing community of Haitian individuals and families who attend.  They are very welcoming and kind.  At first, my goal was to attend once a month, a strategy to help me to not forget the language I had worked so hard to learn.  I found the liturgy energizing, and a way of maintaining at least in some small way a connection to the culture I had grown to love.  Gradually during those three years, I started attending more frequently, probably to the point that maybe only one Sunday a month on average would I not attend the Haitian mass.  Now when I am in New Orleans, it is the Sunday liturgy I most often attend, yes even when I am here on vacation.  Actually, a higher percentage of the typical mass is in Haitian Creole than many of the liturgies I typically attend in Cap-Haitian (liturgies at the orphanage and those planned by the sisters tend to be mostly in French.) There are songs that I learned while attending the Creole mass in New Orleans.  When we sing those same songs in Haiti the faces of individuals who attend the liturgy in New Orleans come to my mind, bring a smile to my face and I pray for the Haitian community of the greater New Orleans area. 

Last Sunday at the Haitian liturgy here, we sang a song that I had learned in Haiti; one we have sung frequently during mass at the orphanage.  That particular song is French, but I understand the chorus and get the general gist of some of the verses.  It is a song about sharing (share is patarger in French which is  pataje in Creole.)  While we sang that particular song on Sunday evening I thought of the children at the orphanage their faces coming into my mind, bringing a smile to my face and so I prayed for them.  I especially smiled recalling more than one incident when during play therapy I said something about sharing, encouraging the children to "pataje" and they broke into song, filling the play therapy room with that hymn.  As we sang that song on Sunday, I realized how much I miss the children.  I hope that they are doing well and enjoying their time with their families.

  

              

Differences and Similarities

On Thursday, Friday, and Saturday of last week, I attended the Autism Society conference which was held here in New Orleans.  While I learned quite a bit, earned continuing education units, and enjoyed the conference, there were moments when I was aware that I am working in a very different environment than the other professionals attending.  One speaker mentioned how before 1975, when the law was changed, there were children with autism and other disabilities that were not allowed to go to school; only after whispering to my friend that it is still like that in Haiti, did I feel a wave of sadness for children whose disabilities cause them to be excluded from having their educational needs met.  During a session I attended the presenter told us which services a child would be able to receive even if nothing else were available; of course, she was assuming (and accurately for all attendees other than me), that we were working in the United States of America.  The services she described are not a right and are rarely provided to children living in poverty in Haiti.  I chose to attend one breakout session focusing on preschool children, thinking this could h help me to advocate for a child at the orphanage who seems to have some symptoms of mild autism and also thinking that if I continue to provide support and consultation to the preschool children in Pilat they could at some point have a child  who has Autism traits.  The special educator and speech therapist who presented seemed so committed and had great strategies for working with preschool aged children who are on the Autism spectrum .  They also described classrooms with only 12 children of which no more than four have a diagnosed disability, and where there are a variety of adults collaborating in the classroom including special and regular education teachers, multiple teachers' aides, speech therapist, and once a week an occupational therapist.   While I was impressed by the work that they do, I wondered how would anyone even try to implement their strategies in a Haitian kindergarten classroom where there are often more than 50 children with only one teacher and maybe an assistant, where educators typically would typically not have any special education training or experience?  I did get a sense that those in the United States who are on the Autism spectrum who are born into wealthier better-educated families probably have better outcomes in life and greater possibilities; the discrepancy is even greater when we consider the situation from a global perspective.  I am grateful that I attended and learned a lot, grateful that I was able to spend time with a friend who was in town for the conference, and grateful that so much work is being done to improve the lives of those with Autism; may the work soon somehow also benefit those living in places like Haiti too.

Sometimes I think coming to Louisiana before I head north to Rhode Island makes a lot of sense.  There are commonalities between Louisiana and Haiti that are very different from New England (where my family lives.) The architecture in the French Quarter of New Orleans is remarkably similar to that of downtown Cap Haitian, for example.  Yesterday when I drove to the town of Opelousas to visit many of my Marianite sisters (it was great to see ya'll!), I passed sugar cane fields.  Louisiana and Haiti are the only two places I know of that eat mirliton/militon (a vegetable)  and call it that.  Of course too, there are banana trees and hibiscus flowers.  So while at times I feel like when I am in Haiti I am in a different reality, there are similarities too.  The similarities often make me smile; like this little lizard who greeted me in the backyard today.

      

     

This side of the water, but the other side of the river

In Haiti the US is sometimes referred to as " lòt bò," or "lòt bò dlo" which means the "other side,"or the "other side of the water."  In New Orleans people talk about which side of the Mississippi River they are on, the East Bank or the West Bank, but simply when you are on one bank, you can refer to the other as "the other side of the river."

So, on Thursday night I arrived here on other side of the water, where I am staying on  the other side of the river  (in relation to where I have previously lived in New Orleans.) I am happy to be on this side of the water for a little while, and I am feeling very welcomed by the sisters in this lovely house on this side of the river. During my first few days here there were moments when I was surprised by what was once ordinary.   For example, I thought, "Wow!  We have a dishwasher (machine)!"   I have to remind myself of silly things like it is okay to flush toilet paper down the toilets because the sewer system can handle it.  Suddenly I am once again capable of cooking and driving (but of course not at the same time.)  Also, it is not necessary to turn the plates upside down with the silverware beneath them when setting the table because there are rarely any flies in the house and virtually no dust coming in since the windows are completely sealed shut and there is less dust in general since the roads are all paved.  Actually, I am impressed by the quality of the roads, even though others here are complaining about them.  The next person who complains about the conditions of the roads in New Orleans should travel with me the next time I go to Pilat.   By the way, Pilat in relation to Cap Haitian is on the other side of  seven rivers, none of which have bridges.  In recent days, each time I traveled  from one side of the river to other, I felt grateful for the beautiful bridges that span the Mississippi River, something I had previously always taken for  granted.   It is great to be able to get to the other side of the river while staying on this one during my time on this side of the water.


Wherever you are, (on which ever side of whatever body of water,) I hope that you are enjoying the summer. Take care.  Many blessings!

Funerals

During my first experience in Haiti, funerals occurred nearly daily during our morning liturgy at the little chapel on the grounds of St. Damien Hospital.  Despite the reality that I have attended so many Haitian funerals, and witnessed many grieving families, I still find funerals here to be quite difficult, (not that funerals anywhere are ever easy; they're not.)

The mother of one of the Holy Cross postulants, died a couple of weeks ago.  Fortunately the postulant was on vacation and with her mom at the time.  Last Thursday was the funeral.  A pickup truck and a jeep both filled with  sisters set out early in the morning, we could not take the minibus because the condition of the roads.  Shortly before we arrived we pulled over on the side of the unpaved road put the food we had brought with us on the open tailgate of pickup and ate our main meal (does this qualify as a tailgating party?)

We arrived at the family's yard a few hours before the funeral would start so that we could be present to the family.  We greeted everyone and expressed our condolences.  The postulant seemed so sad.  My heart was filled with compassion for her. She is only in her early twenties and is already parent less.   We sat on  chairs in the yard between two very simple cement homes on either end a cinder block wall on one side and a fence consisting mostly of corrugated metal on the other.  At times people were silent, at other times family members of the deceased wept, or called out loudly expressing their grief.  Someone fainted.

When it was a few minutes past the hour the funeral was scheduled to begin we boarded our vehicles allowing relatives to ride in the back of the truck.

The funeral was held at what appeared to be a community center, not a church.  When we entered the building I heard a lot of noise.  The coffin was still open for viewing and there were people crowded around it.  There was a lot of loud crying and yelling.  People close to the deceased were expressing their grief with their whole bodies.  I sat in the back row, but only for a  couple of my minutes because I decided to move after a bereft young man unintentionally hit the back of the metal folding chair causing it to move an inch or so.  The preacher tried to encourage everyone to quiet down and be still so that the service could start.  There was a program on paper, an itinerary which included two songs that the Sisters of Holy Cross were going to sing, but the presider never called upon them so they did not sing.  The postulant at some point went to the front and spoke lovingly of her mother, I heard a little of what was said after I explained  to the screaming woman next to me that I had come for the postulant but that I could not hear her because of the screams.  When the preacher spoke I decided to make a concerted effort to listen thinking this might be preferable.  I could only hear for a few minutes during a lull  but was equally uncomfortable hearing about Satan, the devil, and judgment.  I thought if someone were to preach this homily at the funeral of a very close family member of mine I would not be consoled and maybe I'd feel like screaming too.

The cultural differences in how some of people express their grief here do in all honesty cause me to feel somewhat uncomfortable at times even while I respect that this is simply a cultural difference and I at some level do appreciate that.  There may be advantages to expressing one's grief in this way; I have no right or reason to judge it.

There is another major reason why funerals here cause me even greater discomfort.  I can not help but wonder if the deceased would have died if the person had access to the kind of health care and other privileges I have access to.  I have no major health problems and consider myself to be in relatively good shape however during the next several weeks while in the US I have routine checkups scheduled with my primary care physician, gynecologist, and dermatologist as well as my yearly dental appointment.  Preventive care is not something the average person in Haiti has access to.  It is well documented that poverty with all its stressors places people at greater risk for many  health problems, the very people who have the fewest resources to resolve them.    This should probably should cause us all  some discomfort.

On Saturday morning I boarded a bus to PortauPrince and spent the weekend visiting children and workers at Kay St. Anne and other friends at NPH.    Most of the children who I knew five years ago are no longer there, some have been reunited with relatives and others now reside at the large orphanage in Kenscoff.  I was happy to see three of the children who have disabilities who were at St. Anne when I worked there. It brings me great joy to see two boys who did not walk independently when I was there who can run and dance now.  I enjoyed chatting with a coupled of employees.  The volunteers now live in what is called, "the villas";this is where I stayed.  In many ways it is more comfortable than the tents and prefabricated housing of the post-earthquake volunteer era.  The international flavor still exists.  There was a large group of  short-term Italian volunteers, they were so generous that they included everyone staying there to eat the authentic eggplant Parmesan they prepared for a late Saturday night supper.  The volunteer I stayed with who I did not know happens to live in New Orleans, we plan to meet for coffee (or tea) in a couple of weeks.

After visiting the children on Sunday morning I went out to lunch with two friends, one an American sister, the other a woman close to my own age from Ireland, and we met another American woman who I had not previously known. It was wonderful to visit with them.  We even swam in the hotel pool.  That evening there was liturgy in the hospital chapel.   The mass flowed between English and Creole with some songs in Italian and French.

On Monday morning I attended the liturgy there as well. Before it began I stood for a moment on the side of the chapel, in front of the simple wooden cross that marks the spot where little Katiana is buried, sadly recalling the most difficult Haitian funeral that I personally have experienced.  When I entered the chapel there were three small coffins on the floor containing the bodies of children and babies who died at the pediatric hospital over the weekend.




I returned to Cap-Haitian yesterday.  By the end of the week I will be in New Orleans.  I look forward to seeing many of you soon.  Take care.  Many blessings!

Beauty on Barbed Wire and Broken-Winged Butterfly

  It is especially strange to be here at the orphanage while the children are away. I miss them.  

While the grounds are quieter than normal and my schedule less full, and with no classes, appointments or group therapy sessions over the weekend, I have had some time to reflect, read, write, pray and of course wander the grounds with my camera in hand. 

The orphanage like many homes and business in Haiti is surrounded by tall cinder block walls topped with broken glass and barbed wire.  While ugly, they are practical, used to prevent people who might commit crimes from entering.  While taking pictures recently, I was especially struck by the contrast of the barbed wire, broken glass and tall cinder block walls, and the abundance of life that sometimes surrounds them.  I call these four photos: 

Beauty on Barbed Wire.         

     

 I enjoy the challenge of trying to snap a good bird or butterfly picture before it flies away.  While chasing butterflies in the currently childless orphanage playground I encoutnered this one .  While I took many pictures of butterflies that would by most conventional standards be considered more beautiful, this is the butterfly that spoke most strongly to me.  I was compelled to respond.  

Broken Winged Butterfly

The flutter of your injured wings whispers words of wisdom,

Both broken and beautiful

 Tattered and Talented

Easily labeled disabled and dysfunctional

yet, you are so capable  

you fly!  

Others appear perfect in thier seemingly effortless grace

though they've not a shadow of your strength,

(Or perhaps they're equally broken, hindered by hidden hurts

always unknown to the onlooker.)

Broken Winged Butterfly, 

When I saw your tattered wings

then watched you fly, 

my heart flew too.             

I am continuing to teach English this week.  Things are going well for me and hopefully for you too.  Many blessings!