As I sat down to write this, I heard a knock on my office door; my office is adjacent to my bedroom and connected by an internal door. I debated for a second if I should answer it since today is my day off. I could not see who was there and because the children have singing practice there is no way I could have asked through the door who is there and what the person wants and be heard or hear the response over the boisterous voices. As I opened the door, I greeted the child and asked if it is an emergency, politely explaining that it is my day off. Because of the volume of the music, it was hard for me to hear what the child was saying. The child said, "yes," and then explains that he is having difficulty descending the Haitian flag that hangs in the courtyard and wants me to go on the roof to fix the problem. I have done that before, but not on my day off (it is a flat roof, and there is a perfectly safe staircase to get to it; just in case you are imagining otherwise.) I suggested he ask the night supervisor to help with that and so I continue writing.
In general, it is very convenient living where I work. There is no commute time to account for; I never get caught in traffic. The accommodations are wonderful here in many ways. We even have electricity 24 hours a day and the tap water is treated and perfectly drinkable; it is rare for any home to have both of those things all of the time in Haiti. My delicious meals are provided by very thoughtful kind kitchen staff, who even daily cut mangoes and melons for me, without my asking (actually, I would never ask or expect anyone to do that for me, but I appreciate because I don't get mango juice all over my clothes anymore.) Even my laundry is done for me here, and it comes back the very same day! (If I had to cut my own mangoes it probably wouldn't because it takes time to scrub out mango juice.) The grounds here are quite safe; there are always multiple security guards working. I am very grateful for all of this. There is just one challenge that comes with it.
At the last job I had in the states before I came back to Haiti, I was on the staff training committee and I did the training on self-care for my co-workers. Self-care is something social workers and other helping/healing professionals need to be mindful of and are trained to consider, in order to do our best work and prevent burn-out. I am finding that some of the strategies that I have come to rely on to prevent burn-out are more challenging to implement here. How can I leave my work at work, when I don't leave work? While I generally avoid working on my day off, I can't leave my bedroom without being at work; automatically boundaries are blurred and separation scarce. My minuscule social life outside of work, is completely dependent on (sometimes very unstable) internet connections. I have gotten accustomed to working six days a week, as that has been my norm during most of my time in Haiti. Now, I feel like there is a bit of a learning curve for me when it comes to living and working in the same building, trying to do my best work and be available to the program staff and children, while meeting the expectations of those responsible, and doing so in a way that will be sustainable and healthy for me and everyone involved for the long run.
It is not that I am not attempting to practice self-care. I have been making sure I exercise which for me is essential to coping with stress and increasing my chances of sleeping well. I am taking time for centering prayer, a form of silent meditation; sometimes during a 20 minute prayer period needing to discern multiple times if I should stop to answer a knock on my office door. When the internet signal was consistently strong enough, I was doing very short yoga videos early in the morning and before bed regularly. When I have a day off, I usually leave the building and head to the beach; for me to be at my best time spent in nature is a necessity and that is something that is available all year round in Haiti (yes, there are clearly some self-care advantages to being here.) Despite these strategies, at least at the moment, I feel like I am struggling slightly to do self-care well here.
Thanks for letting me ramble a bit; I feel better already. Writing this has been a helpful self-care strategy over the years. Sorry no pictures, this week; come to think of it, getting my camera out would probably help, too. If anyone reading this wants to share strategies for self-care that have worked for you in for situations like mine please leave a comment below. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
No matter where you are and what you are doing be sure to take care of yourself. Many blessings!
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