A Trip to the Bank and General Updates

Bank  

Today the line at the bank was quite long.   There had been a lot of traffic getting into the city and the convent driver who was waiting for me had to pick up another sister in less than an hour after our arrival.  I decided to wait in line and get a sense of how quickly it was moving.  It was not moving very quickly, but I figured I would wait a while and if it seemed it would take too long, I would get out of line and try again in a few weeks; I only decided to change some American money into gourdes today because eventually I will need to and the driver was available and it is Tuesday (my day off.)  A uniformed security guard carrying a very large gun got my attention and pointed me towards a very short line.  I pointed to the end of that line and asked if he wanted me to go to that line; he nodded in agreement and automatically I obeyed his gesture and went in the short line.  While I don't really read French, I am almost certain the sign indicated that the short line was for, pregnant women, elderly people, and people with physical disabilities.  I don't fit into any of those categories, nor do I think I appear to.  I felt quite ambivalent.  On one hand, I was relieved that I would have time to change my money before the driver had to retrieve another sister, I also felt quite uncomfortable, and embarrassed.  

Why had I been directed to the shorter line?  Perhaps the security guard saw that the driver was waiting in the hot pick-up truck as the sun was beating down upon it and had compassion for him, but I sincerely doubt that was his reason, even if that was how at the moment in my own mind I justified obeying the guard.  Perhaps from the Marianite crucifix around my neck, he knew that I am a religious and did not think that "sister" should need to wait in the long line like all of the people who are not members of religious congregations .  While there are situations in which religious are given preferential treatment, (which I find quite annoying) I am skeptical that this was the probable cause, in part because I was wearing capris, not even a skirt or dress and certainly nothing resembling a traditional habit.   

Perhaps the security guard was just being kind to an obvious foreigner, and most certainly he meant well, but it did not seem fair to all those who were waiting, who had arrived before me.  Ideally, I should have refused, saying that I could wait in the long line like all of the other people who are neither pregnant, elderly nor physically disabled.  While I don't really know the security guard's motivation, during the few minutes, I stood in the short line, the words "white privilege" bubbled up from my gut to my head. Even here in a country, where there are few white people, there are times when I believe I am treated better than most native people by other native people simply because of the color of my skin.

I considered writing about this, but felt a bit uncomfortable so I decided not to, then a short time later while trying to catch up on the news today, I read the following article and http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2016/05/31/479733094/the-code-switch-podcast-episode-1-can-we-talk-about-whiteness  concluded that maybe the Holy Spirit was prompting me to write about my experience in the bank, and to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that the color of my skin does come with privileges both in Haiti and in the US and in many, perhaps even most places.  Certainly I have not earned this nor is it deserved, nor am I proud that I stayed in the short line.          

I have probably only gone to the bank on three or four occasions to exchange money during the many months that I have lived in Okap, and each of those times, I have received more gourd per dollar than the previous time.   In a sense, this too would seem to benefit me personally, after all, it still only costs five gourds to take the tap-tap from downtown to the intersection closest to the convent and orphanage. In reality, though, this saddens me, because the currency's declining value is a sure sign of Haiti's current economic problems and  it is very bad for the people, no doubt especially for those who have the least to begin with and many prices have risen as a result.

So thanks to a trip to the bank, I am grappling with the reality of my privilege and that being white and an American comes with undeserved benefits.  I believe that what seems to benefit me personally if unjust towards another, if it is not really in the best interest of the common good, then ultimately it does not benefit me, because we, all people, and all of creation, are in this together.  Hopefully, with God's help, I will do my best to use my advantages to benefit those who are least privileged and to find ways to advocate for justice and equality.  Will I have the courage to defy the security guard and the next time I am in the bank should I be faced with the same scenario?    

General Updates

The Sisters of Holy Cross had a regional meeting this weekend.  On Saturday evening after work, I attended mass with them and visited during their evening meal.  It is always good to connect and catch up with sisters I don't see often.
 
 Sunday was  Mother's Day here in Haiti.  There was a short gathering in which the children sang, danced and told jokes, to honor the "mothers" who do most of the direct work with the children at the orphanage.  They are caring hard working women; hopefully, they know that they are appreciated.  A few children came up to me that day, kissed my cheek and wished me, "bon fèt manman!"  I was very touched.  The day was also a difficult one for some of the children who were reminded that their own mothers have died.  

Things are winding down as the school year will be coming to an end next week.  On Sunday I did my last group sessions with the older children and yesterday was my last weekly meeting with the caregivers of the children.  Next week, I am heading back to Pilat and early the following week the children will leave to spend summer with relatives.  

I hope that you are all well.  Thanks for taking time to read this.
Have a good week.  Many blessings!